I usually try to maintain a certian level of awareness of the world and the many energies here. Sometimes it can be quite overwhelming and for the most part I'm not able to ignore mass maounts of energy at once for long. I'm not a frequent visitor to the mall or other places where people gather, but on the occasion that I do visit the mall, if I'm there for more than a few hours I become quite lightheaded, my feet feel heavy, and overall it feels like I've had one too many to drink. By the time I get home I'm usually exhausted and I'll take a nap. When I wake up I either feel quite groggy, or extremely energetic. Experience has taught me that it depends heavily on the enviroment, what type of people there are, and how long I'm exposed to that enviroment. I also have a bad habit of tapping into people's energies and reading their souls, which I do just be looking at their faces. The point I'm getting to is it can be quite overwhelming.
So after all that is said and done, I will eventually look to find a way to realise this energy that I read and was exposed to. My most common outlet is playing the piano, during which time I'm combining my own energy, the energy that's built up, the energy around me, and some intent if I want to communicate with a deity, spirit, or deceased loved one. Currently this is my only major outlet besides meditating which can and has made the energy become more active making me feel like I'm the energizer bunny.
I've found sound threads on Spells of Magic discussing energy vampirism which I found quite interesting and thought-provoking. I've contemplated that might be my case, though one of the ones I read, not sure which one specifically, stated that energy vampires can't supply their own energy and they rely on other people. Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure, but I do know that that specific detail doesn't apply to me.
During times when I am unable to release the energy that has built up around me during the day(s), if I go too long (i.e. more than a week) I'll begin to experience what I've coined as energy orgasms, which is where I'll randomly burst a bit of energy and something peculiar, or magical, would happen. For example when I go camping eith family or friends, I'm not normally able to release the energy and so there has been times where I am sitting by the fire, I'll feel a bunch of energy release from me, and the wind will start up, or the fire will seem to grow bigger, or I get asked to go fishing.
I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced something similar as to what I have. Have you ever gone a long time without doing magic or releasing energy somehow that it'll juat burst?
