Self esteem spell?

Hey, is there such thing as a self esteem helper spell? I kind of want to know before I make an appointment with a plastic surgeon and spend over six grand on what I need done. Yes I have talked to someone about my self esteem, doesn’t help at all.

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there's many spells/herbs/crystals associated with confidence, courage, and self esteem, but it's not as easy as "drink this tea and you'll be transformed" it will help, but you need to work at it [and since you claim you've tried to boost your self esteem and it didn't work i'm not sure how effective a spell would be since you need to work at it] so while plastic surgery can help you, you need to still get to the root cause of your self esteem issues and heal that.

make a poppet out of orange cloth, stuff it with herbs/crystals that boost confidence/self esteem [allspice, cinnamon, raspberry, rose petals, sage, basil, lemon verbena, so on] add some cotton balls, bit of your hair to personalize it to you, maybe a rose quartz, sew it up, and charge it with loving energy. meditate with this poppet and charge it with positive energy, visualize yourself being confident and happy, focus on all the good that will happen.

you should also try affirmations [i am loved, i am improving, i accept myself] look into the mirror every day, look into your eyes and say it out loud [it will be really freaky at first, you will get those negative thoughts just ignore them, don't let them take over] you might also wish to wear/carry a stone to help with confidence such as rose quartz, lapis lazuli, or cinnabar. meditation [especially guided meditations] can also help, as well as wearing orange and burning orange candles while visualizing yourself as a more confident individual. if this is a deeper issue, i would also suggest journaling and shadow work to get to the root of the issue and heal from it.

it's not easy, or a quick fix, but it can work, just give it time and a regular routine.

Trust me, they have said to do the mirror thing like 10 years ago. They said it would work in time, still not even remotely better. I’m honestly loosing faith in anything magical or spiritual at this point. Until something in my life can go right, nothing will change.

In order for any spell or magical working of any sort to work the caster is required to cultivate a certain type of energy, and this is only done in existing in its matching state of mind/emotions and willpower. If you cannot bring yourself to accept all your imperfections of oneself on all levels (emotional, mental and physical), you literally already have failed your spell before casting it. Same is valid for any other magical method you use. Therefore me giving you any spell is useless.

Prior to casting any self esteem spell, you need to seek the root of your lack of self-esteem and address it. I hope you are not on your way to develop body dysmorphic disorder*. You might need to seek professional help, to establish the root cause of what you feel/think about yourself. In terms, if it is psychological, physiological, genetic predisposition, mental or emotional or any combination of all these. Being excluded from group activities due to deviating of the norm physical appearance, behaviour, believes, ways of thinking can gear your brain to be prone to develop dislike of oneself, anxiety and in some cases mild OCD. We are group oriented beings. We evolved as part of a group and this group shapes the ways we perceive ourselves and our inner mental/emotional and psychological state. One can perceive themselves subjectively or objectively or any mixture of those two. Also keep in mind that this dislike can often manifest as dislike towards the part of our body we dislike the most. However, if you are to fix this part physically to your liking, this same pattern of feeling and thinking can then pick a new body part to dislike. For example, you did not like your nose and it caused you major lack of self-esteem and you went to plastic surgeon and reshape it as you liked. However, after that you started to dislike let say your ears. This process can continue infinitely because these type of internal thoughts and feelings always seek to manifest on some physical level. I myself often avoid looking myself in mirrors because I immediately start disliking something within myself.

Personally, I have to face my inner demons daily in my craft and magic. Even though I inherited my female ancestors abilities in the craft, I did not feel good about it and about myself because my peers were both scared and unwilling to have anything to do with me. It also happens that I have a blood disorder, which additionally sets me apart of my peers. I always was this odd looking, odd behaving/thinking child that sat alone. I felt like I was never good enough for anybody and anything, and this reflected in my energy and the ways I projected it outwards. In result, I kept attracting negative beings and people, who would hurt me and additionally cement my believes about myself. It literally took a near death experience to see myself for who I was. It took Something that loved me unconditionally for who I was to see myself objectively. Often we do not see our true selves because of the things that we have experienced and are happening to us. A believe or pattern of thinking does not take strong hold just because we thought about it once. It takes longer repetition for long time for it to emerge as one. Therefore, the issue can be solved only in same way by observing the feeling/thought and not latching into it but by accepting it and letting it go. Think of it as watching the waves of the sea and their ebbs and flows. Observe them and let them go.

*Please keep in mind I am not officially educated/trained in clinical psychology to assess or diagnose any possible mental illnesses, disorders or deviations of normal ways of thinking and functioning. Therefore, I am not licensed to evaluate or diagnose anyone with anything, neither this is my intend.Feel free to seek professional opinion, if you feel the need. Additionally, some modern DNA tests can pick some genetically inherited tendencies towards neurotism, anxiety and related disorders. What I am trying to suggest is that, if there is physical/biological or psychological reason for the ways you feel about yourself these need to be addressed first, before attempting to influence them by magical means.

Merry Merry,

"Until something in my life can go right, nothing will change" with this mindset/attitude you are correct. You have set yourself up for failure. Plenty of things go right in your life, you just choose not to see them. You are alive, you have access to the internet, these are two advantages I can tell right now from you. They may seem mundane and ordinary but they are things you have that you take for granted. I know I will sound harsh but you are not trying, you were given a number of options but you latched on to the one that did not work for you, that mindset is the catalyst to your downfall.

Have you talked to a therapist? While the mirror one can work, if you are not at the right state in your life it will not. A person in the depths of depression can not "think positive" when life is a grey haze of numbness and negative thought patterns. Magic brings change, it is very much real, but if you are not ready it will not manifest. Try finding the root cause of your issue and heal that. As you being to come to terms with your body issues, because plastic surgery makes me assume it is a body issue, you should slowly be more open to things like affirmations. As awkward as it sounds, I would also work on accepting compliments from others, instead of brushing them off. Many people I have met with self esteem issues usually brush off compliments with the same handful of replies, just try and say "thank you" and even if your mind brings up the negative thoughts, argue them, just say to yourself "these thoughts are not true, the person was being honest" it will take a lot of time, especially if you are doing this on your own, but it will change your thought pattern.

Blessed Be.

Let's face it, most of us are not satisfied with who and what we are. We don't think we are thin enough, smart enough, capable enough, any sort of enough to have value as a person. And that is a very poisonous outlook to have. After all, if you don't like yourself, how ever will you learn to love and value someone else?

For most of us the messages about our shortcomings are learned early in life. Sometimes it is the result of verbal abuse, but it may also be the result of childish teasing, a careless statement made by a parent that hurt more than it should, or even something innocent taken in the wrong way. There are many phrases that put us down. "Boy was that dumb!", "Gosh, can't you do anything right!" "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose a few pounds." These are the things that start us down the road to self-loathing.

Then we do the worst thing possible. We pick up these simple statements and we internalize them. We start saying them to ourselves over and over. And over time they become more and more poisonous. "Boy was that dumb", becomes "Boy am I stupid." "Can't you do anything right", becomes "I can't do anything right". And so on. We no longer need an outside source to tell us we aren't the wonderful person we'd like to be. Oh no, we are quite capable of beating ourselves up all by ourselves. We no longer love ourselves, we can't believe others can love us, and we can't believe that others are lovable. We are alone and lonely on an island of our own making.

So how do we begin to unlearn these falsehoods about ourselves and learn to love ourselves again?

That is where a simple exercise called affirmations is a useful tool that anyone can use. Affirmations recognize that it has taken time for the negative messages that we have internalized to instill their poisons in our psyche. Think of the messages as being the needle on a phonograph which eventually wears grooves into our beliefs about ourselves and then cannot go anywhere but down the same negative groove. To undo this damage, we are going to have to give ourselves new messages and allow them to wear a new set of grooves in the record of self.

Start out by coming up with a simple, positive statement that reflects what you would like to come to believe about yourself. Keep it short and straightforward. It might be something like, "I am a worthwhile person", or "I am lovable" or my favorite of all, "I like myself". And remember to keep it in the positive sense, say "I am pretty", not "I am not ugly". Also, keep it in the present tense. "I am worthwhile", not "I'll be worthwhile". If you put your desired goal in the future, that's where it will stay...and you'll never get there.

Now that you have come up with the phrase, or more than one phrase, you want to use, it's time to begin wearing that new groove into your own personal mental record. This is going to involve repeating that message over and over to yourself many many times before it begins to be a part of you. After all, the negative messages didn't get in there overnight now did they? I generally recommend shooting for 500-1000 repetitions per day as a good figure to work from. "Oh, my gosh!", you say, "How can I ever do that!" Actually it is easy, and much, much quicker than you think. Start by making yourself some sort of counting device so you can keep track of the repetitions. Anything will do, but I like a string of beads that I can carry around with me and use throughout the day. Mine is made of a string of 100 inexpensive wooden beads with every tenth bead being slightly larger so that I can easily keep track of my count without having to even look at the beads. Anytime you have a moment take out the beads and start counting out repetitions of you chosen phrase. You'd be surprised at how many you can do stuck in traffic, riding the bus to school, waiting in line at the supermarket, filling your gas tank, and all those other empty moments of the day.

At first you may feel silly saying these things to yourself, and your self may be shouting back that you are wrong, wrong, wrong. Change is never a simple thing, especially when you have had years to get to where you are. But remind yourself that you aren't happy with your current situation and you truly want to change for the better.. If you stick with it and persevere, over time the positive message will get in there and drown out the old negative sayings. You will learn to love yourself, that love will show in your interactions with others, and that will attract all sorts of blessings into your life. And if you are really having trouble believing when you are starting out, try adding another affirmation to you list, start repeating the message, "My affirmations work!"

Hello,

It's easy to see the negative. However, while we do we just dive deeper into the pain and darkness. You should try the affirmations, as Lark suggested. Sometimes talking to a therapist alone will not complete the self esteem building process, you should keep a journal and write five things you enjoy and like about yourself every single day. BUT every single day you ahve to write different ones than the day before.