I've practiced for years

Magick has it's roots in the subtle (non-physical) planes of existence. It is not about pretending or auto suggestion (though the latter can help psychologically), but it is about the energy (that is subtle) aiding that which is physical. If you really expect Magick to do everything for you, of course it is going to feel like 'pretend' when it does not work the way you want it to.

If you really want to learn Magick, study up on different culture's history and see how they saw the universe. Then, take some time to understand how these spells work. This differs for most people, but understanding it on your own terms goes a long way towards making things work.

Essential Wicca by Paul Tuitean and Estelle Daniels is a good book for basics in how things work (I mention this because this thread is in the Wicca forums). It applies to more than the Craft and will help you understand that maybe you aren't doing something wrong, it's rather that you don't see what you are already doing.