Alrighty, I wound up putting together a giant wall of text (as is usual for me, it seems @_@) and I sent to you as an in-site mail. I thought it would be more appropriate at this point considering the nature of this sort of an attachment and the ... topics it brings up. It just seemed more prudent.
I am sorry to hear that your unwelcome guest (to put it nicely) is continuing to give you grief. Has there been any change at all? Or at least progress on finding local help that goes more in-depth than a prayer and a headpat?
If this entity is still lingering after over a year of effort, it is time to really push for a full right of exorcism. At this point nothing less than an ordained and experienced specialist. And preferably someone from a denomination you already follow. ...If the events and challenges you described in your past posts are still accurate to what is going on now, then my intuition tells be that a Christian process might serve you best- seeing as this entity opposes you pretty exclusively in that regard.
If there have been any changes over the last year, though, perhaps new information might shed additional light. Is there any information you can think of that you can give? Especially if it is information this entity opposes your sharing?
I wonder. Are you able to communicate with it? If so, have you ever tried asking it what it needs and why it continues to torment you after all this time? It's very possible that it could be dishonest with you, but I figure that it's also possible that it might be willing to tell you what its needs are so you could work something out and it doesn't have to resort to such destructive behavior. Sometimes I honestly wonder if some of these entities don't know how else to get their needs met. Then again, some of them probably just enjoy being jerks and getting rid of them forcefully is the only way to go.
Some changes,
I have a more strong desire to die, only thing that keeps me from killing myself is possible punishment in the afterlife. I noticed there is probably more than one, sometimes these things act like they are helping me but as tempting as that can be to believe, I doubt it, too many hints that these beings are lieing and I always catch them in a lie. Another change is I don't fall into their traps when they try to trick me, into doing something. Before they tried to get me angry or sad by telling me what others are thinking around me and what they are doing and I should do something about it. Sense I had developed a strong desire for peace and do good, it does not work anymore so now this problem has become more physically forceful it seems. I became a vegetarian, I stopped teaching and rejoined the military. I noticed what ever this is gets reeeaally mad when I successfully resist. Even will use other people against me it seems. I noticed more that it probably has abilities to influence others, all kinds of people. I discovered they are a lot more powerful than I thought in the past. It is able to keep me from getting help from churches for some reason. They still try to disrupt my meditations and try to give me hallucinations or dream while awake. I came across Christian spirits, hindu spirits and other spirits that act like they want to help me. I had thought it was just another trap/trick but as time went on it seems these are different. They don't help much with this problem for some reason but they tend to tell me I need to protect myself from others and they help me with other problems, I have no idea why. They seem to try to keep me from killing myself. They seem to hate my past of being naive. They are capable of more pain than my original problem, they come off sometimes as harsh but when these things help me, they are brutal! I can tell you an example, they ruin my life if I ignore them. They tend to make me worship different deities. Orixas help the most. The problem beings I already have will try to force me to do something blasphemous when I sense that these helper spirits are around or just make me think of something stupid or ignorant. These helpers spirits are not allowing me to follow the rules of their specific religions, such as attending their churches but they tell me to do things "in their name" like a good or specific deed or a task to help myself. I guess I'm not allowed to follow any religions but the hindu spirits are making me study their path. The Christian spirits help but they force me to stay away from them when I try to become a Christian. I came across things that hurt to look at and just thinking about them or remembering how they look will manifest them. If I described them to you, you would be able to see them but you don't want that kind of problem. I am forced to ask Jesus for help often but I am not allowed to follow him, but for whatever reason He still helps. The wind even whispered things in my ear. Pretty much a lot has happened but the problem I had is still here and I feel pretty hopeless about it. It is hard to get help while I'm on deployment/rotation right now as well. I am still able to hide it, but people who see me resisting it says it looks like I have turrets or suspect I was talking to my self and I try to make excuses with what they just saw. Probably another more I can mention about changes.
Hello Draq,
They force communication sometimes, but they tend to try to cause confusion, or tell me lies, or sometimes a truth, nothing they say probably should be trusted.
I studied schizophrenia during college in my psychology class. I am confident enough to say it's not schizophrenia considering how I acquired my condition, and what problems I can cause others if I tried to. I can tell you this, if you had what I have, you would be desperate enough to try to get rid of it. This is not something you can just get treatment for and live a normal life. Can you tell me a little about your condition and how you acquired it? Any out of the normal paranormal experiences? What you are currently doing about it? Is it working? Positive or negative changes?
Also do you think you really are schizophrenic or do you think something else is wrong? Does it have a supernatural effect on others around you?
