I only help with things I know about because if I try to help with something I DON'T know about, I could end up misleading the poor person and doing more harm than good! It would be like someone who knows nothing about auto repair trying to fix someone's car! Bottom line: if I don't help, it's not out of selfishness...it's because I don't want to be the blind leading the blind. Blessed Be )O(
Sadly some good people get labled fluff from saying a silly thing in chat, but most of the people deserve the title through roleplaying. (which on this site counts as claiming to be another species or being able to do impossible things)
I think part of it is the sheer repetition of it all. Humans are hard-wired in a way that makes it so you don't really feel successful until you see tangible evidence of this success, which is why depression is so common - many cubicle jobs are so far-removed from any tangible results that employees don't get that "I succeeded" feeling at any point. Even though it's always new people asking these questions, the fact remains that we are still being asked how to turn into vampires or whatever, so it ends up feeling like you're walking in circles and not really going anywhere. I think this is also why you'll often see young/new practitioners being nice at first and then slowly falling into the same patterns.
I think another big part of it is that these are not just questions, but also assumptions - some people ask if it's possible to become a vampire, but the ones people seem more irritated with are the ones asking how to become a vampire. These people are ignorant of magick, but they've already somehow concluded that you can become a vampire and they just need to find out how. This has a tendency to invoke feelings of, "who the heck do you think you are!?" from the local fauna. Imagine this scenario playing out in some other venue - walking into a dojo and proclaiming that you know they can fly because you saw it in a kung fu movie, and then asking them to teach you how to do it. If this forum is any indication there's a good chance you also start arguing with the dojo teacher when he or she asserts that there's no flying. It's annoying to the teacher, it's disrespectful of the art, and it's shockingly foolish and arrogant.
It's also worth noting that many of these people asking fluffy questions are admittedly getting their ideas from obvious fiction like TV dramas and anime. If I were to walk into the college biology department and say I wanted to know more about inter-species communication between rabbits and ducks because I saw Bugs and Daffy arguing on Loony Toons, it would probably take the staff a good 10 seconds to realize that I am not going to be a serious student. When you are interested in magick, you ask questions about magick - when you are interested in anime, you ask questions about anime. I posit that people asking fluffy questions of that nature are not actually interested in magick as an art, but are rather more interested in making their anime story real. This is not to say that a real and genuine interest in magick cannot be sparked by some magick-oriented fiction, but even then those people will ask questions about actual magick in an earnest attempt to learn and don't generally pull ideas from their fiction.
I think the diva of this thread was Chiron, whom graciously stole the words from my lips. I completely agree with what you said Chiron. I often observe the same issue over and over again, and while I am pretty confident in understanding the underlying reasons and causes for the same patterns of behavior, I often think to myself "what the nibblets is wrong with most of these people. Not that I am trying to get up in everyone's grill and be judge mental of people I do wonder both about the people who either factiously want their fantasies to come alive or those who are simply young and or new to the craft; and then I also with the same thought wonder about the more experienced and well rounded practitioners' of the craft and ask myself why they don't even attempt to make an effort to help those in need and are asking for help.
I get that it is extremely exhausting and annoying when the same questions are asked over and over, and I understand that some of the people aren't here to dedicate their time and effort to the study of the craft. But while I understand that and the many other reasons why it has become difficult for the experienced practitioners to stand up, be dedicated to helping those in need and being assertive and resourceful, I also know that in life and reality there will always people who aren't serious towards the cause or the study. Whether it be a lazy coworker, a sloppy waitress, a boring teacher etc. there is always going to be the people who don't have the passion, the desire, the will, or the love to dedicate their time to try and uphold the expectations, the dedication, or the strength to carry on even when "nibblets" hit the fan.
So great we established some thoughts on the causes and reasons why the cycle of fluffiness exists, we get it, we know their are flaws within our community just as we all should know there are flaws within every community and group. So here is my question to you all: "What in the sweet corn do you plan to do to fix the problem, instead of blabbering about how and why it sucks?" Yes, that's right I said it, I am in a fierce mood and I have had one heck of a southern peachy day.
You know if you set aside of the fact that it gets annoying as heck to get asked the same questions over, or the fact that some people aren't really here to learn and be told what is what; all you have to do is take the few seconds to answer a question or at the very least be resourceful enough to point whoever in the right direction. If they don't like your answer then screw them, don't get all sassy and huffy because they don't want to learn and listen to what you have to say. I understand you want these people to take what you say and understand it, take it to heart, but really at the end of the day what matters is that you spoke your mind, you at least had the respect and courage to make an effort.
To give you some advice from my own experience I will tell you that through my time here and elsewhere I started out where I was like "Yeah, that's right, I know what I'm talking about, and I am here to turn heads, impress people, and make a difference!" And you know what I have learned after finding out that you'd be lucky as a two piece and a biscuit if just one or two people cared to even pay attention: That no matter how hard you try to make a difference, the most important thing that matters in the end is whether or not after all your hard work, time, and effort is if what you did helped you grow spiritually, if you learned a lesson, or found some tid bit of understanding out of all this mess we call magic.
Our community is a rubix cube of this and that, and all kinds of gumbo. We have so many people from all kinds of walks of life, all kinds of juicy personalities, all kinds of backgrounds. We as a spiritual community are so diverse and enriched in so many paths and beliefs, it is truly a spectacular achievement that we manage to stick together through all the popsicles that we endure. I think even though we have our flaws and we face our own challenges and trails, we are a strong, brave, and triumphant family of individuals and brothers and sisters. So in light of all of this sugar and spice laid before you, I say these last words to you tonight: "Shut the deli meats up, and start upholding the standards that as kindred of the craft we expect; if you know it and got it share it with those who ask or those willing to listen; otherwise stuff your face with something other than donuts!"
are you referring to the ranking system here? meh, it's flawed and should be ignored but whatever. or are you referring to 'i want to be a vampire, tell me now' and people snapping at them? yea, kinda sucks, typically i explain why it won't work, unless i'm in a hurry, tired, or they ask something at really upsets me. everyone has a breaking point and as a result they snap at people. that being said, there are quite a few people who are convinced they know best, so no matter how nicely you explain, or how harshly, they'll bite your head off. it's happen to me a couple times, i say nicely it can't happen, and they send me mail insulting me. the worst one is still bugging me. point being, be nice but don't expect results.
Now lets have a look what exactly is fluffy bunny first :
"The primary definition of a Fluffy Bunny is one who refuses to learn, refuses to think, and refuses to consider the possibility that they could possibly ever be wrong. Generally, they find one book, author or website and follow it as if it were the holy word, frequently denouncing anything that disagrees with it as obviously false. Fluffy Bunnies rarely get past the defense of "Because [insert favorite author here] says so." Sometimes they don't even get that far, responding to any and all criticism with something like, "You're just trying to persecute me!" According wikipedia that is what for term is used .
The main problems that i would have with someone that fit all this mentioned above .
1.Refuses to learn (major trouble ).The fluffy would ask same question ,stubbornly again and again and no matter how many people told him what reality is about and how things in reality are ,he would keep asking till he /she does not find another fluffy to validate his/her believe .
Why should i try to teach someone who does not want to learn ?Logically i should not ,and logically i is waste of time and effort and nerves .
2.Refuses even to consider the possibility that they could be ever wrong .
If someone refuses by his own will to consider and learn new things ,who am i to force him to change it ?I would loose again my time and nerves to do so and they will keep going in same direction .People learn ,grow and understand when they are open minded and had accepted the idea that they are times that they can be wrong and times that they can be right .Argument in such situation is out of the question ,because it leads to nowhere .Conversation will not proove itself much useful either .That is their will let them be .
3.Frequently denouncing anything that disagrees with it as obviously false.
If all i say is denounced and then all what other people say is too ,what is the pont here .There is not point the fluffy wants to hear that he/she is right and is deaf and blind for all else .
4.And finally they will get all deffensive or even offensive ,toward everything that opposes their opinions and believes .If we had avoided the first three problems the forth one would have been rather avoided too.
I do not like to be rude to people or to riducule them ,however
everyone even me has a breaking point and everyone can loose patience after dealing hours with so difficult to deal with people .I do not like to be attacked for my personal believes ,so does everybody else .
It is another question that some people label fluffy bunnies almost everyone they do not like or can not understand .As fluffy can be labeled also only stubborn people and i have seen that happening ,sadly .
So if someone does fit entirely the description of the fluffy bunny i would count him/her hopeless and i would ignore him in order to avoid the offensive-deffensive part of the ordeal .Now by hopeless i mean at that moment i do not think so that kids stay kids forever and that people never change for good .Everyone can and will change for good or bad whenever they let go of their extreme ideas and believes or behaviour in that matter .Meanwhile we can not do anything if they refuse to see the truth and change their ways ,we can only try to put up with them in such way that none of both sides is harmed emotionally .
I try to be neutral here to the maximum i would not bully ,ridicule or argue to death fluffies as much as i could resist to the contempt when overhelmed (not trying to play the role of the saint in this tragic-comedy situation ).But it can be overhelming being asked the same questions all day along and walking in circles and being a witness to circuses with three arenas .
There is one good use of the good old fluffy bunnies ,they remind you how stupid you were in age of ...(insert the silly age in your personal story ),so you must stay a bit humble for you have been in similar situation at some point and people had to put up with your nonsences .
And there is a second reason that you got to learn to be patient and to control your urges and anger ,for supposedly you are the wise one and the adult one it the situation .If kids can not be responsible for themselves ,we as adult can be .
So folks get your patience and sense of humor and lets survive the next fluffy storm by keeping composure and being just for the sake of all sides involved .
There needs to be a page where 'newbies' can go and ALL the things that 'can' and CANT be done magically are posted. All should have an opinion 'posted' as to why certain things 'are' possible' for 'experienced' casters and what things NEED study and focus ( most ALL magic does ) Why do the new 'always' want to change something or cast 'love' spells. Why do some even ask about the fantasy world and 'expect' magic to do what happens in anime or harry potter ? This page should be the page that ALL new people are referred to and THEN signed to be able to join the site so this type of thing would be 'reduced'....
"Why should i try to teach someone who does not want to learn ?Logically i should not ,and logically i is waste of time and effort and nerves . " ->quote-unquote
-i do agree with this.. as what my reiki master have said, there are some things that don't want to be healed so better yet, leave them behind until they've realize what needs to be healed..
remember, experience is the best teacher so even though how many times a teacher would say such a thing but the student refuses the idea it won't help it..
labeling others as fluffs would give them the idea that there is something wrong with their understanding with magick.. its not actually a way to ridicule them but likely its a way to tell them and make them realize that they need to study more about magick, well because many would say such things without some reliable backgrounds about that certain topic, the sad thing is they are also the ones (the fluffs) who gets mad when someone says that you can't be one or its not yet time to cast a spell you should learn the basics first.. "LEARNING THE BASICS" on the first place is something that everyone should know.. it's MANDATORY in all aspects of life (this is what they don't really understand)..
its just the mind of the individual that makes a word (for example "FLUFFY") becomes BAD..
I think "fluffy" people may not always be wrong. Now its obvious they are fluffy if the idea they say is clearly straight from fiction, but if it is a debated topic they talk about then they can't be labled "fluffy" right off the bat unless they derive their "facts" from fiction (like fiction books, movies, tv shows ect...) if they state facts from a more reliable or otherwise "not proven wrong" source eg:
Topic: vampires
Source: www.vampirewebsite.net
Then they maybe right so therefore can't be called "fluffy" or even "wrong" they simply need to be heard out and discussed with about the topic. Case closed
