I believe in miricles!

I believe in miricles and have some magick I want to learn how to do. Bare in mind that I am a newcomer to the magick world, but I wish to be great and be able to do true magick.
These are some magick suggestions I have:
Walking on water,
Healing lepers,
Floating (like in "crouching tiger hidden dragon")
Flying or levitation that works (I've tried and failed : [ )
Making food multiply loads (like feeding the 5000 of Jesus)
Turning a stick into a living snake,
Being able to talk to snakes.
Flying a broom.
Throwing fire from the mouth like a dragon.
Shape shifting to animals (mainly birds, cats, dragons and snakes)
Being able to remove ones heart and put it back (a trick by david blaine)
Breathing under water.
Learn any language instantly.
Enlarge matter (like food to solve world hunger).
How to freeze water through mind alone (stop golbal warming).
I do want to be great but I also want for the world to be at peace. What better way than magick?

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some of those fings are a bit unrealistic

some of these are hoax they wont happen. but some are possible. like the levitating but requires an exreme amount of focus

You know, Jesus DID say "What I have done you all can do, and more"...

Just food for thought. Not trying to push any agenda. :D

Although I'm pretty sure some of these can't happen in our reality. Like taking out your heart and putting it back. David Blaine's an illusionist. He didn't REALLY take out his heart.

I know that people like blaine are illusionists. I guy called Criss angel (illusionist) managed to walk on a swimming pool and the evidence suggested that there was glass he was walking on and actors. Jesus couldn't really of had glass and he hardly wrote all the bible gospels, I mean theres hundreds! (only 4 in the actual bible though).
Becuase obviously Im a newb, I was hoping someone might be able to know how to perform these miricalous feats.
I'm thinking of joining yoga in september with my college, and also a martial art such as aikido or brazilian jujutsu