Hi everyone! I am a newbie and I am here to seek help.
I work as a carer for the elderly in their homes. I love my job. For the past 3 years I've been looking after an elderly lady, sharing the duties with another carer. Whilst doing this job I've developed myself and done a lot of thing like going to uni, driving lessons and eventually bought a car. I had no idea, but my colleague has been plotting against me for a long time. She's made a lot of allegations: that I don't look after ther old lady well, if an illness comes she tends to point the finger at my time of work, she's alleged that I've given her medications just so l don't have to do a lot of work. Upon hearing this I was really hurt and I confronted her. In my face she was very apologetic and I thought that was the end of it until I heard the old lady's daughter claim that things were not well. The lad's daughter called for a mediation meeting and I aired my concerns and the family took them on board. I even expressed to them that if they felt that after looking after their mom for such a long time they were not happy with my work I was more than happy to leave. To which they said no, they didn't want me to leave. I then requested for my colleague to join the meeting and in front of everyone present she said that she had never said anything bad about me. But I've heard conversation and telephone conversations where she is bashing me left, right and centre.
I could easily walk away, but I need the income and I have a course that I am doing in the area (with just a few months left to finish). Besides, I do not want to give this woman I work with the satisfaction that I walked away because of her. I have recorded some of her conversations where she is really bashing me and saying all sorts. I do not want to lose my ability to work in the care field because I love my job. But how do I make her stop? I do not want to rock my boat before I complete my course but I need for this woman to just stop. I've even heard her say that she wants me to die, she wants me gone, she hates me and that I am a bastard. I've been called all sorts of names. Please help!! Somebody??Anyone who can help?
ive gone through the safe thing.. a member of my team told my manager that I bully her and ask to see her bag as I think she is stealing... this women also goes round telling everybody to watch their backs as little miss perfect aka me is going to get them all fired. so what I did was wait patiently and let everyone know that I knew what she was saying but I didn't confront her... a few passed and I was working alone with her and noticed she had made a mistake on the paper work so I asked her to change it ...she then blew up at me saying that I cant tell her what to do and that I was a bully... I then very calmly told her that she was a child (despite being 30 years my senior lol) and that she is a two faced liar which she denied so I explained word for word exactly what she had been saying behind my back to which she could not say anything... I then called my manager whilst she started screaming abuse at me so my manager could hear it lol and when my manager turned up and confronted this lady she tried to lie and say it was me shouting to which I said she really should stop telling porkies and her face went bright red and she just shut up lol ..
so basically just stand your ground and keep calm but most importantly keep patience people like always end up shooting themselves in the foot... if she continues to act all sweet and innocent with you just play her a few of the conversation you have recorded and Im sure she will then keep to herself out of shame
I agree with standing your ground, but i would do it this way, If you are scared and think this might cost you your job dont do it! I dont want to be responsible for someone losing their job!!! IF you think this is right way, then do it like this:
be calm, dont raise your voice, you have to endure that, if you have to say something back at her, tell her with calm voice, dont yell, dont ever rise your voice, be nicer than ever to everyone else, so then they can see who you are, and who she is. if she attacks you, and comes to the open conflict, DO NOT play those recordings, and DO NOT try to defend yourself by justifiying yourself, because that will play her card, and that will "confirm" things she is saying against you. if she openly attack you, then you have to attack her back with STRONGER argument, that will put all burden on her... Also before it comes to that, you have to make your "foundation" for your defence - as I said, be super nice to everyone, and try discretly to tell your closer parties how bad person she is. IF your conflict burst in front of your boss or others, then AFTER you come out with your argument against ehr THAN play those recordings, as evidence for your argument. You could also go to your boss alone, and tell him what is going on and tell him of your problem, and ask him to summon her, than ask her what is her problem, and if she starts acting, then come with your argument, IF SHE start to cry to show her inocence,(we know thats acting) then without a single word, play those recordings to your boss, just click play and make sure its loud enough that both of them hear it.
