Consecrating Aluminum Foil

Before this, you must keep yourself pure for at least seven days. You must not masturbate nor have sexual relations with anyone. You must not slander nor insult anyone, regardless of whether or not they have wronged you, even if you are alone. You must not lie to anyone, steal from anyone, take advantage of anyone. You must not harm anyone physically, nor even touch blood or death things. Lastly, you must not drink alcohol or take any mind-altering drug.

After this period of seven days, at sunrise, you must gather water from an east-flowing river into a clay pot. This water must be distilled into pure, clean water (any means of distillation will be fine). You must recite the following seven times over the distilled water:

I adjure you, O water pure, created of God before the Earth was formed, to bless the metal which I will pour you over. This power is given you not by me, but by the Maker whom we both share, ADONAI TZEBAOTH, in whose holy name do I adjure you. In His holy name, bless this metal. Amen.

When this is spoken, speak the following to the aluminum foil seven times:

I adjure you, O metal aluminum, created of God as He formed the Earth, to receive the blessing which our Maker has for you, that you may be useful for all I undertake. This power is given you not by me, but by He who formed us both of the Earth, ADONAI SHADDAI, in whose holy name do I adjure you. In His holy name, be useful to me in all operations. Amen.

After this, pour the water over the aluminum foil and speak the following:

In the almighty name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, in whose hands all things are, may this aluminum be useful to me in all operations. In the name of ADONAI SHALOM, let this be. Amen.

Lastly, you must dry the aluminum foil. It will thus be useful to you in all operations, and may be used both in mundane and supernatural applications to remarkable effect.

Food wrapped in it will be blessed and well-preserved; when worn on the head, no mind-altering magic may be used against you, even by the most powerful sorcerers; and anything cleaned with it will be noticeably enchanted. These are only a handful of mundane uses for this blessed foil. The reader, undoubtedly, can think of many more.