Magic Forums

I've been having some trouble finding my way since December of 2014. This is a highly controversial path and I ask that everyone be respectful.
I keep hitting this same wall over and over, "Do I believe this or is it a phase? Do I believe in God and Jesus or should I push them aside? Am a a Roman Catholic as I was raised or am I a Wiccan or am I a Trinitarian Wiccan?" I'll get little bits of "oh, that makes sense" but then I'll hit the wall again. I need help, tips, tricks, books, websites, anything you can throw at me.
I am also trying to hide this from my parents. I can't talk to them seriously about the bible (mostly since I don't like Old Testament and no hatred toward Jews I swear) and every time I try to ask about the roots of Catholicism, they'll deny it had anything to do with the roots of Wicca, so I can't rely on them to give me any sort of knowledge beside the bible in its entirety.
I know this is long-winded, but this is basically my situation. Please help me if you can and if there are any with this same situation, you can use my thread to ask questions.