No longer in denial.

It's been a family thing for years.

We talk about "Auntie", she saw things in her youth. Never married because the one she was "fated" for was KIA in WW1 or 2. She had stories and feelings and would be half way down the block towards the trouble before anyone got hurt.

She cared for my grandmother,mother and myself. I was her best pupil she'd say. As a kid we talked with animals in a park in the bronx, and the occasional spirit or two, all the while attending regular services at the local church.

As she got older ,so did I. She was less able to hold off the "bad things",they'd mess with her head and her room. I went downstairs to her room and found all the furniture blocking the door. Something not possible for a 4ft nothing 98 yr old lady to do but I had grown up and didn't care about that stuff anymore.
I'd gone my own way in a fit of rebellion against god and country LOL
"Auntie" was still with me even after she passed away. She'd crawl into bed with me the same as when I was little, and I felt warm and loved. I still have her silver braclets, they are over a hundred years old, for they belonged to her mother.
Not too long ago my mom died, and it hit me......

a horrible aloneness, not even the prozac could counter. I was living in a city again, in the states. No trees to run to no animals in the woods.

I had to look for the woods in me.

And I saw it one day.

The army officially recognized wicca as a religion and as such, authorized pentacles to be worn as a religious symbol. I stopped and stared...I bought it. And spent the next month walking around with it in my bag, while I researched Wicca and I discovered it's okay to be friends with trees and animals. Spirits are real and so are feelings and magick is okay.

I put on the pentacle on my 43rd birthday.

I am now studying and awaiting my year and a day, when I will perform a formal ritual for myself (regardless if i join a coven or not), between myself and the god and godess.

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O my goodness, thats so beautiful.

Thanks for sharing that.

Blessings.