MY NAMES' SIGILS

So I go by different names and I have sigils for each of them. I wanted to explore what I gathered the meanings to be to see how exactly I was being spoken into existence and what I found scares me

Jak- Black Diamond. A prison, escape, as above so below. Both outward and inward

Lee- Red Clubs. The four directions, infinity, a promise that even if it ends we continue

Ari- Red Spades. Light and darkness, a taken virginity, sexual characteristics

Wei- Black heart. Two souls colliding, precision as its imperfectly accurate, designation, myself

Together this reads as a binary, infinite prison that stretches ever inward and ever outward with themes of domination and submission that is FIRST and NOW imposed on me specifically that if I should ever escape in some aspect- I'll only find myself to be imprisoned elsewhere in another sense- and I'm not alone in this prison- and while I'm unable to leave in the total sense of the word, I'm reaching beyond the imposed limitations and constantly breaking barriers

Someone tell me your thoughts on this bc I think I've been sent to Hell for dealing with Demons

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I don't believe you are in hell (considering the Christian construct) nor do I believe you were spoken into existence (I'm a firm believer in procreation being responsible for human life).
If I had to take a guess, you are likely a minor child going through the teen years and desire to be something other than what you are. I'd assume you play cards often which is the reason you named them next to different names you use.
Should this not be the case, I've seen where some have multiple personalities and or schizophrenia and write things such as the above, though multiple persons generally don't know of the names of the other personalities. Have you tried speaking with a mental health professional?