Its just a spirit, you don't need help, you just need protection, which is why I told you about a strong amulet of a man who was an exorcist in life. All you need is a little determination and knowledge. If that amulet doesn't stop the nightmares than you may just have a bond that causes you all to have the same dream, which means if one of you have it, all of you will.
As for communication with this spirit, I suggest using a pendulum which you can make from an 8 inch piece of string tied onto a ring. To make it easier to hold, you can tie a second ring to the other side of the string to grip. So it would look like
O-------------O
Here is some info on them and how to use them.
http://www.odysseyofthesoul.org/freomm/pendulum.htm
Understand that spirits can lie, so never take what is said as 100% truth. Take it as you would the word of a stranger.
I would NOT suggest inviting the spirit to communicate through your dreams if you are experiencing nightmares. Just because you think it is a certain person who passed away (my condelensces) doesn't mean it is. Use the pendulum and if at any point it begins to make you feel afraid, you can pm me and we'll discuss what your options are based off of your experience level in magick.
If it is not a spirit, the pendulum can help you to determine the reason for the dream because it works off of your subconscious which is the exact same part of your mind that controls dreams.
hi i just learned about your problem and since you're already in japan i recommend you find a reiki master and ask him or her to send energy to the spirit or just learn reiki and do it yourself,it's effective i assure you,i had a friend who had been murdered and i couldn't attend his funeral but he used to come to my dreams i guess he wanted to say a final goodbye,i just send reiki energy to his soul and i just felt really at peace after that,he never bothered me again,the same thing happened with my cat.reiki has shields that can protect people from negative energy and japan is the home of reiki the first person to recover it was a japanes master.anyways consider my suggestion and join the reiki practicioners.hope you find what you looking for bye.
For your children have whoever is guarding them place a leaf of a fern under their pillow. This will keep whoever is causing this away. As for you, well have some 'tobacco' ( yes like from a cigarette) nearby it will 'draw' the thing to you.
You may want to consider making a dream catcher for each member of the household who is having nightmare issues. You can buy basic dream catchers that are premade and then decorate and charge them as you feel they need.
Kts I considered a dream catcher, but since lij is in Japan, I felt it may be too foreign of an idea. It is, after all, native to America. But if, by chance, she does have interest in making one,
This wasn't the way I was taught (mine are a little tighter so they look more like a net/web than this star patterned one. But its a good one. If you use a "twig" find a green branch, cut it to the appropriate length, bind it into a circle shape and let it dry out (which will make it stiff in this position), then wrap it in leather or ribbon tightly, so it looks completely uniform. I like leather because you can fit the string inbetween the strips of leather which keeps it nicely in place. Incorporate charms, colors, etc that represent the child that each dreamcatcher is for. For instance if their favorite color is blue, they love water, and they enjoy music, I would incorporate blue beads, shells, and perhaps a small bell or rattle. As I weaved it, I would have one focus, that the dreamcatcher would catch the nightmares of the child and let the good ones through the hole in the center (always leave a hole in the center). If I knew the child's favorite animal, I would try to get a fetish of the animal or a representation of it and weave it over the center hole or just next to it, assuming that this animal is their guardian/guide.
