What's your excuse?

I would play Diablo with you but alas, my power keeps going out from the heat...

Would someone help me light some candles?

I would but I'm already on fire whoops

You have to clean out the attic!

But it's haunted and the spirit is not fond of me. D:

Wanna go for a jog with me? :)

I would go for a jog with you but I haven't in so long I would never keep up lol!

Someone help me to garden and get all of the weeds out of the yard...

Regretfully I must decline, as I've been attacked by a swarm of bees.

The basement is flooded, someone drain it!

I would help, but renting your basement out as a swimming pool proves more profitable lol.

Draw me an anime waifu? :D

I would but I lost all my writting materials. :|

someone help me practice piano? :3

I would help you practice piano but I am all thumbs, lol

Someone help me make some homemade cookies!

I would but...somebody already ate all the cookie dough! D: *smeared all over face...loud burp* xD

Tell me a good joke!

I can't tell you a joke as I broke my funny bone...

Anyone want to play checkers with me? :)