Hate and magic

sorry to hear that. anger isn't something that has ruled my being. i have been angry, but everyone has, i'm actually a really negative person. i have seen how negativity can effect me [like someone will say something and i keep repeating it in my head until everyone who i see is a horrible person who looks down on me when really it was one bitter person i saw early that day] this isn't healthy, [still] i don't like most people, but over the years i don't let them bother me anymore. i am sick of what it does to me, and i don't like the person i became about 5 years ago as a result of being so negative and defensive. i am not all smiles and sunshine all the time, but i know what matters, what i like, and what i care about. if something doesn't fall into those categories, i ignore or forget. its not easy, but when you are ready, you should try to accept and let go. people come and go, they are far more absorbed with who they are than who you are. sometimes it is wise to push back, but learn when and don't let it consume you, its an empty life.

because something my dad told me when I was a kid when I was being bullied "bully or be bullied" if you are not mean to others other will be mean to you

That isn't true. People will be mean to you whether you're mean right back at them or not!

when I started being mean to others that's when my dad started to be prowed and other were not mean to me anymore

It's beginning to sound to me as though you don't wish to become less angry or hateful. You actually like being mean and hurting others through your magic. And you believe that being hateful gains you what you want out of life so you aren't going to make any effort to change yourself.

If you aren't willing to see what others are telling you, that being mean and hateful is neither necessary or worthwhile, then there is nothing we can do to help you out. Everytime someone has tried to help you out you have a reason why you can't or won't follow that advice. So continuing this thread seems rather pointless.

Or it could be that you are simply engaging in trollish behavior.

Well in my belief i don't believe in karma,and of course your spell don't work 'cause it's something that make it fail (for example:moon phases)

I don't want to get rid of my anger I want to balance it out and I have tried meditating but I don't know what else to do

Meditating, alone, is not the answer. Meditating is part of the answer. It has taken years to get my temper under control, and I found my way to improvement through research and books. It took a lot of reading to find the right author with the right advice for me. I followed their advice, and found their methods of self-observation worked. I had nearly immediate results, but it was not a quick fix. It is constant work, practice, analysis, consideration, mantras, affirmations, deep breaths, visualizations, and even things talked about here (but I didn't know to be actually connected to magick back then) such as centering and energy manipulation. Some of the techniques I learned were from sources other than the authors whose advice worked best for me, and the techniques complemented the advice from those authors.

And now, years later, I still slip up, and allow my temper to get the best of me. I have to revert to my beginning training, and bring myself back from that.

well it not me mainly being angry it me not likening and just hating

Perhaps, but parallels can be drawn between different situations with similarities.

If you're having that sort of issue with anger and hatred you need to seen a professional who can help you work through them. This is not something that a simple querty to strangers on a magical board is going to be able to help you with.