Feel a bit guilt

Not all ortodox believe magick is evil(or at least not all magick) there are christan occultists out there and some of them are ortodoxs.

I was raised as an orthodox too. (I am Greek.) Though, I never actually believed Christ was a God. So, I don't really feel guilty. :)

Praying is a form of magick. And I would say get in to chirstian Mysticism

You have the right idea. You have to make your choice.

It really depends how you feel about it .I was raised in this religion from my beloved grandgrandmother but in same time she was herbalist and used to cure people .I never totaly denaunced my religion ,because of respect toward her and because it is part of my roots .However i am open minded person i can not be forced to follow to extreme one path so now i am eclectic practicioner keeping my roots to extend and exploring all that is to be explored .I do not feel guilt about it and i do not believe that whoever divine power is out there wish us to think only in the box and never explore anythink out of it .We do not need to follow restriction to find the divine if everything have come out of divine no matter what we do we are still on journey toward it and its countless aspects .I do not believe that one book no matter how much sacred is all that Divine is .You need to decide for yourself what God is for you ?Is it the strict rules that need to be followed or is it much more to it than that .I have made my own choice if divine had made me full of desire for knowledge it could not have possible expected of me to be restricted in one box .What about you ?

Just remember that praying is magic and as such then magic is praying so it isn't bad what you're doing its just different

Orthodox Christianity believes very much in magick, they just do not call it that. Usually the magick is that of using religious figures to carry out their desires through prayer and symbolism. Much of it is sympathetic magick.

For instance the use of religious medals as amulets and the act of kissing them. They aren't kissing an object but showing reverence and love. Crossing themselves not once but three times (3 is a very powerful number of divinity). Using color and objects as representations of sacred significance. Prayer is done through meditation which can even lead to trance when performing the rosary the proper way while focusing on one's wish. Instead of stating "I bless" "I heal" "I protect" they choose the name of the "holy" figure they feel will do the job. "God bless" "Jesus protect you" "Mary heal and comfort you" etc. The will, the belief, and the focus is still there. The only difference is, the person speaking becomes a middle man of higher power. This is seen in a lot of magick, especially that of Native American shamanism where the shaman will provoke certain spirits to come through symbolism and prayer and then work with them to create the results. The person is the middle man, not the directly effecting factor.

This is actually why I sought out witchcraft when being brought up around Cherokee and Christian family members. I did not like feeling like I could do nothing without help, and liked how witchcraft empowered the self, with the option to include other beings for aid but not the requirement.

Here is what I wrote a few days ago about the basic idea behind why magick works. Perhaps it will help you to gain a peace of mind over your predicament.

"Most magickal practioners of past and present believe one specific thing. Everything in the world originated from a single source and the energy of that single source connects us to all things. Each individual is a part of the whole. We effect it each and every day. This leads into cause and effect (which goes by many names). What we do is a ripple in the water or a vibration on a strand of the web."

So in essence, what we do, the energy we use, is connected with everything, including the source (in your case "God"). Some choose to pinpoint certain parts of nature or certain beings to connect with. Others go straight to the center (God, Goddess etc). And still others merely use the connection to those they personally contact to effect their surroundings through association. Some use all three ways. Regardless, it is all still the same web of life, and we all use it. It's just a matter of opinion as to which is the right way and of course style.

WhiteRav3n that is explained very very well .I still use prayers but sometimes i modify them a bit so it can fit my intend and i can use prayers along with energy work ,crystals grids and spells while doing healing .State of trance also can be reached using religios mysticim ,that is what allowed the saints to feel less pain while being tortured it is the power of the believe and your will to not give up on what you feel as right .Also there are certain paths that combine religion with magic such Santeria and Voodoo (they believe that there is in existance being called Good God ).I think that magic and religion are things that are interwined in such way that it is hard for us to really separate them and i do not see why we should go into some extreme to do so .There are many examples for magic into the Bible including Solomon using demons (djinns) to build his temple .I think the separation came out of human desire for masscontrol over people .There had to be just one figure that could represent God on the earth such the Pope and his priest and servants rest of the folks could not speak with God on thier own .There is much more out there than rules ,Bible and clergy .

Also the prayer "Our father " has everything to do with Tree of Life and its Sephira .And Tree of Life is just another symbol that is much related with the idea of web of life .The presence of this web and that tree can be traced in many paths indeed .If they have become so well incorporated artchetypical symbols and ideas there must be something more about them that we know .
When i started working with spirits they tell me i need to read all holly books of all religions and debunk their symbolistic "code " .I could not get what they actually ment till i did not started findging crossreferences of key words ,symbols and ideas .As a storytale has its own symbolistic meaning and knowledge to be find and learnt .Sometimes idea and story find you instead . If you ever worked with spiritual people and spirits you would know they use stories and fables also symbolism to unclock things in you .Jesus was one of them ,so do many others .

Thank you all!

It helped :)