Maybe you just came to the realisation that it is not the end for him but just the beginning, you may believe yourself to have no heart but in fact you could have a very large heart accompanied with a greater understanding, a greater understanding brings peace.
I'm so sorry, Chaos. Sounds like your friend went more peacefully than most people can hope for... Kao's right, no need to beat yourself up for not feeling bad at first.
you thought i was beating myself up from his death? no i am beating myself up for what i have done. i was glad that he died. in fact i smiled. and a little hehe. that is why i am beating my self up.
iam sorry for ur loss huni can i just clarify for that that death isnt the end, its only the body that dies and ur friends spirit will have the choice as to be reborn become a spirit guide and stay on the middle plain to help and guide others or he may decide to go on and make a home upstairs with his family that have passed b4 him, i have lost 4 loved ones so far this yr and not shed 1 tear becouse i know i will see them again, we keep their memory alive in our hearts and they are never far away from us and wen we think of them they come close to us , i have been a medium for 20 yrs and can tell u first hand hes ok and at his age i bet hes having the time of his life doing things he didnt do on our plain blessed be and ur not a bad person so dont feel any guilt xxxx its the ones left behind that hurt huni xxx but there is no reason to
i know that. but i think he well pick the rebirth or the helper. and to think that i can still talk to him in the spirit world is really is truly sad. in fact he may not be there.
If he is not there then he is on his way back to this plane, you knew him, was he ready to go or not? Even if you do not sense him now give some time, he may be lost in eternal bliss, it takes a while to get past that and make his choices, remember that one minute on our plane is equal to almost to a lifetime on the next, so even if he has moved on in time he will have the choice to return or fall, everyone has that choice.
Chaos, I am sorry for your loss. Just because you weren't sad at first does not make you a bad person. Your concious mind may not have grasped that concept at the time. Or it is possible that your subconcious realized that for him there would be no more suffering. 18 was to young. Stay strong Chaos. You are a good person and you do have a heart.
