I dont believe you are crazy and i was the same way for a whle until i came to realize something, the circle of life (and steak is just really good), but however i still do not harm and bugs or other animals, unless they intend me harm :)
I totally understand how you can be driving yourself crazy with this and that is why I don't believe in the "harm none" rule. This is because one can not live in the physical without harming other life. Even walking around can cause harm. Walking on the earth you can step on bugs and plant life causing harm not only to them but to the environment.. Even those places covered by flooring or other materials harmed the plants and animals that were there first at one time.
The key is balance. I tend to be more concerned about the overall impact I have on things then if I am harming something. I strive to leave as small of carbon footprint as I can in life. Each year I try my best to reduce my own as well has my family's as a whole. I also try to only affect things in the best positive manner with as little collateral damage as possible. Like with camping I leave the place in better condition then I found it.
I used to be how you are, but then I realized that it is impossible to harm none. For example, you can't walk in a forest without stepping on, and harming grass. Also, if you don't kill bugs you find in your house, what if a pet eats them and the pet dies because it was poisonous? You just have to try to find a balance. I think thats what the rede means. Just try not to do any major harm (like killing someone, fighting someone, etc.) and find a balance.
It is worth noting that the Wiccan rede was written in prose as a description of the general code of conduct that a Wiccan witch might live by. It has been rewritten many times, and you can find different interpretations of it everywhere. Wicca also celebrates the cycle of things, which includes destruction and rebirth.
Destruction in and of itself is not necessarily harmful. It promotes growth, new life, new opportunities, etc. It is potential malice within destruction that one must concern one's self with.
Do you harm out of fear? Do you harm out of anger? Do you harm out of greed? Or in causing "harm" do you only seek to sustain, survive, and prosper as an individual?
Jainism is an extreme. i try me best not to kill bugs. i do eat meat because i believe since you must find balance, we humans are omnivorous, but too much or too little protein is bad [and i know you can get protein other ways, i've been yelled at about this point before] at the end of the day, you've got to live with yourself, if you feel 'As it harm none' means no eating meat or killing bugs is right for you, then it's no problem. try meditating on it, or interpret your dreams, the answer might come to you.
I take it that one does not use magick to cause harm. By learning the craft one has a box of matches and it must be used wisely. I see the Rede as a way of placing boundaries on that power. I have no problem with that.
In my mundane life, I am a security guard and have no qualms about tackling a shoplifter or shooting a robber. I'm not using magick for that. I do not have any sense of duty to the Rede for the mundane world.
Although tempted, I refrain from using magick to cause harm to anyone.
