A being needs help

I am looking for help for a friend of mine, James. James is not sure of what he is anymore. For a while, I believed what I was told about him: he was a higher being/spirit. But now he's doubting if what he is is really that clear cut, and doesn't know what he is.

He is extremely unhappy about his current situation. He doesn't know if the tombstone I had found in a cemetery that was by my old house was really his, or if he's just a symptom of my psychosis(I have been diagnosed). He wanted me to write this to see if he could possibly get some questions answered.

The way he explain how he feels about his existence is that he feels trapped between worlds, and that he hates having to see life pass by before his eyes. He says he hates how he has to watch my life from the sidelines. He says the most painful thing he will have to do in the near future is watch my graduation, and because of his state, without his attendance being recognized by anyone other than me.

Night time now seems to be the hardest on him; thoughts and realizations flood his mind. They sometimes get to be so much that he cries. I'm concerned about him and want to find some answers for him.

He is someone I've know for a really long time; about seven years to be exact, and he's always struggled with this. I guess something happened that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Either way, he needs help. I want to help the man who has helped me so much and whom I have come to know as the closest thing I have to a dad.

Please, help me and my friend.

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The most difficult thing about spirits is not the spirits themselves but the lens through which we perceive them. You see, our perceptions color our world. But even more so, our thoughts and emotions color how we perceive the spirit world. If our thoughts and emotions are calm, truly balanced and peaceful, that "inner peace" that everyone likes to talk about. It's the thing needed for clear sight, clear hearing, and the like. Otherwise, yes, it really can be your fears and dreams wrapped around this real being. They can only get through to you when you're quiet and without assumptions. EVERYTHING you believe will happen spiritually will. Everything. Why? Because it is the astral world that parallels ours. This is a realm of primarily everyone's inner realities. When that little girl has a tea party, that tea is in the astral in those tiny plastic cups and her imaginary friends are thoughtforms sitting in those chairs. Outside of the astral, they do not exist. In the hands of a witch or magician, they can only be manifested in some form into the physical in the form of servitors and the like.

I'm sure James is real and I'm sure he's your guide/guardian hoping that one day you will be able to see and hear him clearly. But for now, you're only perceiving your hopes and fears around him. It's like there is a fogged up piece of glass between you and until you can reach peace within yourself, that fog won't go away. Your mind is too loud. Your emotions too wild. He can't get through all of that. Work on yourself and the true James will become clearer.

The thing is that these fears and concerns are not mine; they are his. His most recent outburst was when I was knitting and listening to music on my ipod. I am trying to help him calm down. As I'm typing this he's pacing around the room anxiously trying to settle down. I do have fears and concerns for him; I will not deny that. I also have a few hopes. I hope he can find peace and stop having these thoughts come into his mind as often. But I fear the things he has told me are right and I am concerned for him because his fears and worries aren't trivial.

I am just hoping that I can find something to bring him some level of peace, like he has done for me.

My best advice to you is to find an authentic medium in your area and ask them to mediate for you and James. Don't give her any details, even his name. See what he or she says.

Saying that you fear he is right. Don't you see? You've superimposed your own thoughts and emotions into your perception of him. It's called "unverified or unsubstantiated personal gnosis" abbreviated UPG. It's not a bad thing when you can see "you" in your observations and pick them out or halt yourself from expecting certain reactions. Some people cannot get past it and it makes them believe they're imagining everything. Some people, however, experience things they cannot explain any other way that cause them to keep on working at it until they can gain clarity in some way. And still some only see clearly. And some only hear without their minds meddling. For those that see clearly, methods like scrying are good ways to practice those skills. For those that hear without confliction, a pendulum can be a great ally.

Sorry about James. I had a spirit friend her name Amy. I had a medium locate her. They have to once a year go to their side of reality to regenerate and get new essence so they can exist as spirits in this realm. The energies of our realm and theirs are different. If they don't go back after four yeas for part of a year, their essence will not be able to exist. Give him time. If he's unhappy of his grave, then fix the grave up. Hope this helps.

Aww poor guy! Yes, he is real. He is stuck in the veil. In between the line of spirit realm and physical. That means he tried to move on once, but stopped halfway through and couldn't find his way back to either side. Its wonderful that you are able to sense him.

Try finding and contacting his spirit guides. A pendulum would work wonders for this.
Try talking to him, reassure him that he is real, he is a person, just like anybody else, and that he matters.
Tell him when he is ready, to just go toward the light. There should be a hole of white light in the sky above him. Reassure him, tell him not to be afraid and to just enter it.

If he does, he will hopefully be reborn into his next life. He may leave, and come back, tell him he can always come back to help you after he passes on. :)

Hope this helps! Everyone deserves to be happy!

How do I contact a spirit guide?

From my expierience you don't. They contact you.

They can't just enter a hole of white light in the air and move on. They become "stuck" due to their mentality. It's like how an agoraphobic isn't literally stuck in their house, but will act like there is a barrier at their doors and windows and scream bloody murder if you were to try to drag them out.

Mentality is everything as a spirit. It can create limitation as well as color the way the world is perceived. That's why asking spirits of the dead about the afterlife is just about as useful as asking a living person.

I don't mean to be rude, but honestly I see too many holes in "James" to believe him. He has the energy to pull you out of the way of danger and can follow you where ever you go, but can't keep himself together emotionally and mentally. He brought you to his grave but doesn't know if he is a thoughtform.

Either A. He's lying. Or B. He's lying Or C. You're incorporating your own doubts and fears and hearing that instead.

He doesn't need to be truthful. It doesn't mean he's malicious either. It could be his way of gaining your trust by acting vulnerable. It could be his way of encouraging you to constantly communicate with him. He could be "giving you what you need" by reflecting your own insecurities. By helping him you learn to help yourself. Many spirits do this. But there is one thing I can pretty much guarantee, if he really did pull or push you in a public area in a moment's notice to avert danger, he isn't bad off.

I am concerned about how much time you spend on James. I have an elderly cousin that is the exact same way. He's a living man (not a spirit) that will act like a baby just to be served hand and foot. He loves the attention and won't even get up from his chair unless he has to. But amazingly, he gets along just fine on his own. You wouldn't guess it when someone else is around though. I'm sure James can get along on his own as well. Don't fret about him.

Right now this "James" is being babied by you. And even if he isn't perfectly "well" he won't get any better being babied. I think it's best that you wean off of him a little. Be more "busy". Get your own head straight and maybe begin practicing divination regularly. Use something with physical tools instead of just your senses. When I was just starting out, I used to use two forms of divination right on top of one another to see if the message remained the same. So for instance, runes and I-Ching, tarot and cartomancy, or tea leaves and cartomancy. Same question right after the other. When they spoke identical messages or parallel ones, I knew I was on the right track and the information I received from the reading was accurate in that moment. This was especially useful for gathering knowledge about past and present. Remember the future is not yet written and is subject to change.