Introduction

My name is Colin, now sourone8186, I've always had a big interest in magic and the arts, due to my mother and sisters so much i've feared/respected or denial of it working using or doing things related with them, I know it's not right but I need help I've been betrayed and feelings becoming dark and fear myself as what I may do if I don't have the right direction, I will do something but I don't want the wrong people getting hurt my mind is set on this..

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Hello, Colin! I'm sorry to hear about these negative feelings and such. It sounds like a pretty serious inner debate.
Remember, magic(k) isn't just a tool, it is a powerful thing and if abused it can turn on you(many here believe in some form of "what you put out there comes back at you"). Always always be careful.
If you're looking to start working with magic(k) and the arts, which it sounds like you are, then I would start with the basics. They can help relax and guide you. And help you with your problem. Here's some info on all of that:
http://www.spellsofmagic.com/coven_ritual.html?ritual=2299&coven=493
I would also read this one:
http://www.spellsofmagic.com/coven_ritual.html?ritual=2453&coven=6
There's plenty of articles and forums on here that can help you decide what to do, not to mention the whole internet at your fingertips.
I would start with the year and a day study. Not casting. Basically, you study all you want for a year, without casting or anything. Of course whatever you do first is always your choice.
Good luck!

Thank you very much for the info and thoughts, I have always been told and warned that it can do as you said, that's been my main reason for the thread, I wanted guidance to make the right decision and not hurt anyone, as for myself was a different thing thank you again I will continue to browse this forum to find the right path.
Colin