I've been having some trouble finding my way since December of 2014. This is a highly controversial path and I ask that everyone be respectful.
I keep hitting this same wall over and over, "Do I believe this or is it a phase? Do I believe in God and Jesus or should I push them aside? Am a a Roman Catholic as I was raised or am I a Wiccan or am I a Trinitarian Wiccan?" I'll get little bits of "oh, that makes sense" but then I'll hit the wall again. I need help, tips, tricks, books, websites, anything you can throw at me.
I am also trying to hide this from my parents. I can't talk to them seriously about the bible (mostly since I don't like Old Testament and no hatred toward Jews I swear) and every time I try to ask about the roots of Catholicism, they'll deny it had anything to do with the roots of Wicca, so I can't rely on them to give me any sort of knowledge beside the bible in its entirety.
I know this is long-winded, but this is basically my situation. Please help me if you can and if there are any with this same situation, you can use my thread to ask questions.
Well, first off, remember that it's okay to twist or change up a path or religion in a way that makes sense to you. If you want to talk about it, you can PM me; I had a lot of trouble figuring out my beliefs, so I'm completely willing to listen.
I don't know a lot about Trinitarian Wicca, but this is what I could find from a quick Google search:
www.trinitarianwicca.org
http://trinitarianwicca-mesopagan.tumblr.com/
http://wicca.wikia.com/wiki/Trinitarian_Wicca
christianwicca.org
Sorry if you've already used these resources, and good luck.
Ah, well, sorry I can't help more. Like I said, I don't really know much about this path, so I don't know a lot of resources. I know how frustrating it is to not click with any paths you read about, though, so I wanted to at least try.
If I do stumble across a book or obscure website on it, I'll try to remember to PM you about it.
trust me, it's natural to have moments of doubt, especially if you've gone through some period of limited practice. while books and articles are helpful, i feel in this situation you need to look inside yourself and ask yourself why this is the right path for you. what do/don't you believe and why? meditate. journal. reflect. why is Trinitarian Wicca the right path, but not Christianity, or Buddhism, or British Traditional Wicca, or any other path you currently know of. don't feel bad if you're not 100% right now, or if in 10 years you find a new path, life is always changing, and sometimes your path will as well [otherwise it will grow stagnant] don't view it as 'you were wrong', view it as 'right for the moment'.
i'm assuming you've read the bible since you've mention likes and dislikes in the book, but if not, you really should, and make notes. if you do not believe in the holy scripture of a religion, personally, you're not that religion. sure, you might believe in the deities, but if everything else about the path doesn't sit well with you, you can alter it to fit your needs [just don't call yourself 'Christian' in that case since they follow the letter to the T] i'm not a celtic witch but i work closely with a celtic deity, and there's nothing wrong with that if they're who you're drawn to.
personally, you were born into a Roman Catholic household, you didn't choose your faith, you were raised in it. nothing wrong with it, but until you choose for yourself, you're just following the group. again, one religion is not better than the other, but you didn't choose that path, but now you have discovered one that resonates more with you. i would spend some time devoted to soul searching. a good exercise is to take a piece of paper and write down your beliefs [killing is wrong, Jesus is good, magick is neutral, church on sundays, circles on Sabbats] when you feel satisfied, put the list away for a few months and spend that time reflecting, researching, and practicing, after about 3 months, take the list out and edit it with any new discoveries/beliefs you now have. repeat this two more times, by the end, you should have a stronger view on your faith, and this list can serve as a personal code of ethics. i would also make the suggesting at that point to talk to your parents simply because if this is your path do you wish to continue hiding it from your loved ones? ask them to hear you out, and calmly explain your path and beliefs.
Considering Wicca was not created until the 1950's, I don't think that the Catholic religion had it's roots there.
That being said, there are some very magical practices in it. I mean, the priest assumes the godform of Jesus, magically turns the wine to blood and the bread to flesh, and then everyone practices ritual canibalism. What I often wonder is why people feel the need to mix two different things, like Wicca and Christianity, when Christianity has its own magical practices through kabalistic and Solomonic magic.
That being said, you are free to do whatever you like. But, you may want to look into some practices which more readily align with your beliefs.
