So I've been thinking about my life recently and think I might change a little bit because it seems quiet lately and my goal in life is to become a werewolf. but I might try some other goals such as learning how to metal work,and maybe making some armor as well as a sword. Because it seems like I've been wanting to become a werewolf for I don't know how long now and I think if I do something else for awhile and come back to my other goal it may work I did the spell one night but it's like I went to Walmart and some other places and it stopped working for some odd reason. But anyway I'm thinking of a path I can choose because my parents are Christians but they won't let me have my own religious beliefs.
First, metalworking/smithing is a great hobby for many reasons. The science behind the processes of smelting, shaping, and quenching/temering is nuanced and fascinating. Defined on paper, but more art in practice as a home forge bears little resemblance to a scientific laboratory.
The downside is there's a bit of a hurdle to entry; Safety is important to learn. Getting and/or making tools (Not to mention an appropriate space for them) can get costly. ...Or very do-it-yourself and improvised. And research is a constant thing. Though that study is usually already a passion for those wanting to start up a forge.
As for ideas of lycanthropy, indeed the idea of physically being able to become anything other than human, at will or otherwise, is an impossibility. Such an idea is a fantasy and an escape, nothing more.
The closest things to explore would involve identifying and connecting with the qualities of an animal spiritually/mentally-emotionally. Most of which are shamanistic in practice, and involves mental/spiritual shapeshifting by channeling the spirit/archetype of the animal through one's self.
Therianism is worth mentioning, if only to narrow those ideas out. It refers to an exploration of identity through some form of personal connection to an animal and what it represents. Usually approached from an individually varied combination of psychology and spiritual ideas like misplaced souls, walk-ins, or past-life incarnation.
Hovever, this sort of idea comes primarily to people trying to find/label something already internal and present. Coming to terms/accepting this sort of idea is an acknowledgement of something already present. I can only go by the information you have given, but it seems you are trying to become something. To pull something external into yourself rather than looking for a way to identify something internally. So I am not sure how much help it would be looking into therianism.
Shamanism, Dream-working, and maybe Astral travel would all be more useful things to explore.
The ability to physically shapeshift from human to wolf is not physically possible. There are otherkin and therians who believe their physical form is human, but their spirit is not human. There is also mental, spiritual and astral shapeshifting which works on non-physical levels. Werewolf imagery as well as working with these spiritual beings is utilized in some witches paths.
Why are you drawn to werewolves? Many who work with werewolves do so for their transformative nature and their balance of human and animal. They are called on for strength and protection, as well as a symbol of hiding your true self and working towards connecting with your true self. They can be called on in shadow work and spiritual journeys as a guide for change.
I see no reason why you cannot do both. Practice metal work while researching and working with werewolves. Witchcraft is a craft. Just like metal working, you can do metal working while going to school, or whatever else you choose to do daily.
As for your parents being Christian and therefore against your conversion. Firstly, it is your life. Your spiritual journey is not defined by your parents. Growing up, your parents chose the spiritual path they felt would be best to for you to follow. But there will come a time where you need to ask yourself soul searching questions to get to your center. Secondly, you do not need to convert to be a witch. Simply study witchcraft. It is like saying you cannot sew and be a Christian. You can be a witch and a Christian. Turning wine and bread into the blood and body is sympathetic magick. Asking for a blessing from the priest or congregation, protection magick. Hanging a cross in your home to keep evil out, charm magick. It simply has a different work. If Christianity still resonates with you, but you are also interested in witchcraft, you can do both. If you do not feel drawn the Christianity anymore, you can research Pagan faiths, but it is not required to be a witch. At its core, witchcraft is understanding the flow of nature and our place in it.
I don't know why I'm so drawn to werewolves or why I still believe in them? But it seems like every time I try to tell the belief to go away but it comes back like flys on something that's been ran over? Maybe I need someone to talk to because I don't know if I'm making any sense ?
Sometimes it does indeed help to have someone act as a sounding board so you can bounce off ideas and thoughts. And I don't think it is unusual for anyone to have their thoughts repeatedly gravitate to an idea over and over. It just means there is something about it that feels relatable or familiar. Or some aspect (or several aspects) of what you understand to be the nature of werewolves is also something that represents a personal ideal that you want to be able to express yourself.
Perhaps start by reflecting on how, precisely, you understand what a werewolf is and what they represent to you. After all Werewolves have many forms and expressions these days. Sometimes heroic, sometimes primal. Sometimes a victim without control (cursed by bite). Sometimes born with an inherited trait and a keeper of balance- particularly between man and nature.
Modern were mythos is quite broad. Frankly huge, to be honest. Then there are the old stories and lores that have depicted werewolves as both dangerous beasts, and as people trusted by lords and in service to kings.
I have been watching a YouTube channel lately called Overly Sarcastic, that puts out videos centered on mythology, story telling, history in general, and story tropes. They actually put out a video on Werewolves over Halloween that summs up the use of werewolves in stories past and present fairly well. It isn't a lot of specific, definitive information but it is an accounting of how the werewolf story and mythos has evolved over the ages.
Things like that might give a starting point in bringing your attention to the traits that you see associated with werewolves, and that perhaps you want to see (or already feel, but want to bring out) within yourself.
I'm waxing philosophical (and probably showing my new-age roots) here but I find the things which get our attention do so for a reason. Be it something that attracts us, repulses us, confuses or even unnerves us it is something that reflects/exposes a related part of ourselves that can be learned from. If things are pushing your buttons it is always worth examining why.
This is merely a suggestion to add on to the above comments.
It is possible that a deity who is associated with a wolf or a dog could be trying to reach out on you. Deities have been known to reach out to people in different ways. Divination, dreams, signs (like seeing something a lot), or perhaps wolves or dogs in this case. A werewolf could be how your mind is interpreting such things.
Your parents have little control over your thoughts and religious beliefs unless you allow them. Perhaps this desire to become a werewolf is because of the restraint you feel from your overbearing parents. This desire could be a sign to learn about and work with different deity that are associated with wolves. There are quite a few and they are all fascinating to read about. Below are some links that you may find interesting;
