Okay, so this story may come of a little bold to some but it is exactly how I experienced it and I am in some desperate need for advice/help. My apologies for the length.
So, I am at a show and am introduced to this girl, let's call her Sea. The moment I see her, I notice how open and wonderful her heart chakra looks. Sometimes I get glimpses into people's energy, especially if I am on any substances (not something I do anymore) And I swear this girls heart chakra was a true rose quartz. Love at first sight, I fell and fell hard, but she had a boyfriend already.
Now I didn't see this girl for two or three months until I moved back to town, and by this time she was single. I was doing a lot of meditation at the time and very perceptive of the spirits around me.
One night I was meditating on my bed, aware that many of my friends and family were around me. By this I mean a part of their spirit, each a separate entity, surrounded me while I did my work. I called upon the spirit of Sea, and saw/felt her enter the room with me. She joined the circle, and I could hear that she wanted me just as I wanted her. (Many of the spirits there wanted to have me, but at this time I was very interested in Sea.) I proclaimed out loud that it was her I chose, and that if she wanted me she could have me.
This is where things got intense. I sent out my wave of desire and attention, as well as my statement of love for her, and immediately her spirit reacted. I saw a flick of her wrist, a wand in the form of spirit attached and suddenly my lower Chakras were pulled into hers and mixed together.
It was the most intense spell I have ever cast in my life! Our chakras, especially our sacral chakras were plowed into each other, It was like a flowing tunnel of water meeting and mixing and binding us to each other with such force I had to close my eyes. A vision and INTENSE power was felt. It was like we collided into each other.I really wish I could explain the sensation more, but it was too much for words. It is still to this day my most powerful magical experience I have ever had, and I believe she is mostly unaware that it even happened.
Afterwards I could feel our connection. She was with me always and though I am clairaudient to a degree it was like this girl had full access to every thought and feeling I had. Literally her voice was always with me, and I still find it hard to block out.
Well it turns out that she isn't the one for me. I found out she has a multitude of problems including depression and a split personality. We hung out once and had a great night I literally thought she was the one, but after that she kept blowing me off and ended up dating another guy for awhile. through visions and intuition I came to find out she had been raped as a girl by her uncle who gave her herpes, and the trauma has never fully healed. Despite all this I was willing to be with her until she began to play some seriously twisted mind games with my head.
I regret this binding/sealing, or whatever it is I have done and am asking anyone if they know of a way to undo this. The emotions are so intense I can't seem to fall in love with anyone else. She follows me around, literally haunting me. I do my best to send love and light, but it is exhausting. I don't want to do her or me any harm, but it was been five or six months since the spell was performed and still our souls seem intertwined. For the first two months after the "sealing" happened I entered a very serious depression. I believe our emotions had sort of mixed, it was like I could feel the sadness she carried plus my own. I am better today, but it caused me a lot of pain and suffering until I was able to let go more and more.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Can someone please give me some advice, I can still hear her, part of us still wants each other but she is SO much to handle I don't see it working out. I also really don't want a disease no matter how much I love her. Thank you to all who read this any comments and thoughts are welcome.
Needless to say magic is some really serious stuff. I will never offer myself up for soulbinding or whatever it was again. I had no idea it would happen like that and I have not been the same since.