Lewisj8's Profile

Hi , I'm Lewis as I'm sure you've guessed but for the purpose of this site call me Lewi , Dewin or Quinn . Of course you can call me Lewis if you want . I am gay , and I am taken by the best boyfriend ever . Love you baby and always will , till the day that my soul slumbers and time stops . xxx. . As of 11 . 03 . 2013 I lost my mother , who was an an alcoholic . Mum I love you and always will I forgive you for all you have done . I am sorry I left you in your time of need . It was my fault . Rest in peace with aunt Jo Jo and grandad Jim . Xxx I miss you ! as of 06 . 01 . 2013 i lost a friend . blake rest in peace please xx i miss you alot !! Rest because it won't last long . When I die your gonna get a rude awakening . Gods above protect him with all your might ! I am also an eclectic pagan . I worship Egyptian gods / goddesses , Greek gods and goddesses , but mainly Celtic gods and goddesses. I mainly practice occult Magick. And a dabble into everything else . I'm here to learn more. I mainly major in medical and magickal herbalism though . Any questions just send em me , ill happily answer them . "Perseption is reality" What you see is real never forget that!! "The only thing we have to do In life is , decide what to do with the time that is given to us" - Tolkien "We are all predestined to make mistakes , misjudged and do things wrong . After all we are human , and this is fine . What isn't is if we see these mistakes as faults within ourselves and blame ourselves for the problem . What we have to do is see every mistake as prep for the successes to come in the future . " - myself , using personal experience "She who must not be named , is she who sees all . She who is named , sees nothing " this explains that deep in shadows lie people who see more than those in broad day light - myself `Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You?ve had yet another horrible day. You?re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you?ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don?t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you?re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She?s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that ? Mommy is crying and sissy won?t wake up.? Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what?s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there?s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they?ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can? t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can?t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They?re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She?s in shock. She can?t believe it. She what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad? Bad enough for you to end it. She can?t cry, she can?t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It?s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone?s crying, your little brother still doesn?t know you killed yourself, he?s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn?t stop for days. It?s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn?t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go intodepression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn?t succeed like you did, but she tried?your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don?t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don?t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can?t get better if you give up. I?m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we?ve NEVER talked before, I?m here for you. Copy and paste this as your status to show people there are people out there that care