Help

I have been buying leather journals for the purpose of writing a spellbook
But I then ruin it by writing the channeled messages of spirits all over it and through out the book.
When I look back on it after in out of the daze of channeling spirits
I feel a deadly and destructive angry presence
And the book is covered in cursive scribbled lines sigils strange names and depictions of monsters and demons
Can any one tell me why this is?

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It sounds like you are tuning into some energy or entity while you focus yourself on your magic and thoughts. It sounds like you have a natural tendency to channelled/automatic writing.

I figure there are a few options open to you, dependinv on what you want to do. You could try focusing on a specific question before starting to see what happens. Or, if you want to block it from happening you could do a quick personal clense and protect to block out outside influence while writing. Or to limit it to specific entities/energies. (such as a guide, or a specific being you are comfortable to interact with)

It would be really interesting to see a few pages of what has been written out. By how it was described, it would be difficult to transcribe considering the images and cursive. Though, if you were willing to pick a few of the more interesting pages and take a picture or three they could be seen that way. It might help shed some light or otherwise identify the writing if it could somehow be seen.

Thanks
Also they say something about i need more intent less will
In channeling
And they refuse to help me with the book until I'm of age
And will hinder me from the use of spells in the form of writing.
The pages are covered in cursive writing usually with a pentacle on the top or middle of the page surrounded by text and cursive script

The depictions are of muscular horned demons with the faces of goats with the teeth of jackals

Common sigils are of astrology the moon sun and stars