Truth???

I need a spell that makes someone see what a rude jerk they are being and or a butt head they are being. Please help I really need to make my grandma see how what she's doing great is tearing our family apart.

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lol while i love how you worded it, i think calling someone a 'jerk' and a 'butt head' falls under banned language and you could get in trouble, so avoid it in future [stubborn and ill-tempered might work better in future]

as for your dilemma, you can't really force change on another unless they are willing to change. you can try but no permanent solution will come from it. you might consider truth spells, perhaps a honey or sugar jar, but i would try and take a step back and look at the big picture. why is she being like this? perhaps she honestly thinks she's helping. perhaps you are another loved one is approaching your grandmother in a defensive way which makes her get defensive. maybe you all need to sit down and talk about things. as some whos grandparents are rather stuck in their ways, you might consider distancing yourself, and reflecting on the situation. my grandmother on my moms side can be rather toxic for me, over the years i've concluded 'i love you with all my heart, i just don't like you' and it's painful, but it's the best for me. we still talk, but far less than when i lived at home. at the same time i'm not being constantly questioned why i'm doing things [why are you still with your fiance, why don't you go back to school, why don't you go on a diet, why are you so sensitive, have you tried not being depressed and looking on the bright side] i've learned over the years my grandmother is doing these things because a. she genuinely thinks she's helping and b. she doesn't see all her habits as bad ones [and if you try to explain this fact to her it results in tears or screaming or both] point is, if someone flat out refuses to change, no amount of spells will persuade them.