I grew up not minding religion for my first years. I was exposed to Christianity (Seventh Day Adventism) by both of my grandmothers, and some more of the extended family. I started going to youth meetings every year (Camp Meeting) simply to meet friends as I never truly accepted or rejected the faith until a few years after. When I was fourteen, I decided to take a leap into Christianity. I almost never prayed and blamed all of my problems on an imaginary 'devil' named Kitsun. I talked to him more than God and it was mostly about problems. Afterwhich, I decided Christianity wasn't right for me and decided to be atheist.
When I was fifteen (well after I started being atheist), I was exposed to Magick in a form. I was told about Wicca by my boyfriend at the time (now fiance) as well as by a close friend and my father. They explained it in terms of Green, Blue, Dark, and Light Wicca. Both my father and close friend made themselves out to be 'Dark' Wiccans who are out to destroy the world as well as 'Light' Wiccans. My mate simply didn't know much about it other than that his sister practiced it before and new of my love for Magick.
Over time, I gradually learned what Wicca actually was. I also peeked at Druidism, Alchemy, and briefly at New Age beliefs. I learned to integrate this in an overlaying Wiccan path. I'll admit that I was enamoured at first, finally learning that what I had held dearly all my life was actually accessable to me. At sixteen, I decided Wicca was my path. That following December, I joined SoM and furthered my knowledge of Magick (also learning to distill what was real and what was not). I was more of a researcher than active practitioner. I'm still more inclined to research, but I do cherish when I practice the Craft.
Also at sixteen, I learned that a certain voice in my head was in fact not an imaginary person, or a split/multiple mind disorder. This was not Kitsun, but someone who has actually changed my life and how I view it. She is my companion on the spiritual level, as well as friend and teacher. I've also come to learn of other spirits and how they help me learn in life. This first spirit though, has been common throughout all of my Magick-knowing life. She is arguably one of the most integral.
When I started working about five months ago, I started to see how people reacted to spirituality. Some are open, some are not. In my place of work, I know of a few Christians, a ChristoWiccan (which I still don't get because those are two seperate religions that quite clearly cannot be properly practiced together), a Wiccan, a Pagan, and a few more spiritually open minded people. I started by telling close friends that I was Pagan so they wouldn't automatically assume I'm just some fling/thirst for thrill type person as many people assume Wiccans are. Once I told them more about it, I revealed that I was Wiccan. One person jokingly scoffed and later threw water on me (I know this was all in good jest as we are friends), another person called it 'wooly-hooly' but accpted me anyways, another person showed me her own interests with Magick, another had an intellectual conversation with me about the spiritualities of the world, another didn't respond, and the last one blinked a lot while being confused.
My own family knows about my religion and at first didn't accept it (my father is another bitter story). Slowly, I explained the different aspects of it to my mother and she know whole heartedly accepts and backs me up. My brother accepted me from the beginning as we are closer than we are with anyone else. My mate was curious. My step father is disgusted by it. My extended family simply does not know my religion or thinks I'm Christian.
Today, however, I have Nakir to thank for inspiring me to be open about my faith to everyone. I know I don't need to hide and if I do, that only makes people think there is a reason I should hide. I'm not taking crap from anyone about being Wiccan anymore, so people had better deal with it.
As for how Magick and the Craft have affected my life...I wouldn't be me if I weren't at the very least within the Magickal community. Spirituality, art, people, situations - they take a precedence in my life that has shaped me and made me more mature. Without them, I would be me, I'd be someone else (probably hopping relationships as well as religions).
Since I began studying Wicca (3 years ago), I've been more positive and upbeat. I've had a much better outlook on life. And I'm more connected to Nature. :)
