I really like this thread. Hi everyone. I have not posted yet, not even said Hi in the main bit(reading and learning and trying to get a feel for it all). But, I just wanted to share part of my opinion here :) Be warned, I am trying to be my honest self and not hold back. I am hoping if I tell things as they are it might help you understand me better.
Finally I have come to realise that I need to be here, I have to study and I am truly grateful of the relief I have felt since 'giving in'. I say giving in because it actually felt like my own intuition was bullied by my self punishing mind.(I have been close to and understanding, what I believe are angels, guiding me - despite my attempts to continuously ignore or challenge them.
In reading this thread, it was great to read some honest opinions on this world (I say 'this' world because it does feel so amazingly different to the blocked off/blinded world I have just left). But, part of my path (close to the last part of this bit) did include reading 'pop cultured' type book.
I would really like to share this part, I am nervous because I do not want to upset anyone or to feel 'crazy' because sometimes, just sometimes it really does sound like that when I write it down. But I believe with all my heart that it is true.
Anyway, I don't watch television as such, but I do love movies, Thor and the Avengers, Star Wars etc are some of my Favourites. I understand that some of the stories are part true and some other films are completely wrong and can sometimes rubbish a traditional element of any practice - some just plain made up. But I am a sucker for love and romance - testing times and coming out the other side.
Sorry if I am babbling but its just me - something I have to work on lol.
I made a huge change in my* life last year and listened well to guidance from my angel cards, talking and listening to angels/spirits and by seeing images or messages repeated everywhere. It was hard because at first I could not see how anything that was being displayed would help anything. I mean the more I tried not to look or listen the more obvious they become. (This battle has gone on throughout my life - I still test and ignore and make up excuses not to listen, well I did).
In the last few months, more and more stuff has happened and more sadness still continues to enter my life and then I think someone that helps me had enough and put something so obvious that I could not refuse a look. A book! My partner gave up his 10 year long job too last year and decided that he should listen to me (and a lot of others - including his own mind) and start writing. Things have been quite difficult with children, autism and illness are a big part of our family life and it is hard for him not to be distracted. To cut it short, jokingly I said that I would have a book on the shelf with my name on it before he does. Said and felt with much love! I too love to write, but I am not so good with words or explaining (as you may tell he he he).
Well, straight after this my partner and I went out. We have 2 days a week where our youngest son is at nursery (when well) and on these days we go out and do everything that needs doing outside of our house as it is extremely hard for him (Ryley) to cope around town with his A.S.D. We really enjoy second hand shop or antique shop shopping - treasure hunting lol. Off we went on our usual round, and bang!! The first thing I saw was my name on the spine of the book...ahhhhh!
The book was by L.J Smith. That is my name but not me obviously, I'm Laura and the author is Lisa. A 'Night World' collection including the first 3 books. I was shocked, but picked it up and had a look. My other half laughed and couldn't believe it. I liked the look and sound of it - I got it. A bit of fun I thought, the sort of thing I would like to read about - ohhh the 'night world'. I didn't touch the book for over a month (little time and tbh I was avoiding what it might say). It was an easy read, teen stuff, romance, great. I think I am very drawn to this part of my life (teens) and love. I really enjoyed the I think it's called 'lore', and I did a small amount of research (we didn't have stable internet connection for months) and found more books in the series and that she also wrote the 'vampire Diaries' series which I think I remember was on TV (could still be). I thought wow, that's pretty cool, well done you, L.J.Smith!
But then as I read, the stories were nothing like I had read before, almost imaginable, parts of it. But it was laced with parts of my life or references to things that were going on at the time of my reading (more messages). But the end of it, I learned about the witches in the author's 'Night World'. It was actually the hidden messages about myself and stuff around me that had me hooked and driven but it made me listen - for a change.
I loved the characters Enchantress, eventually (at first I thought - Oh no, not 3 gorgeous witches, I have never liked charmed or anything similar or watched enough of any of it to give it any kind of critique, but it instantly put me off - sorry if that offends anyone who likes that show). Strangely, well it may not be strangely as the author does do her best to make the night world less, excuse the term, hocus pocussy, but I felt as though they could be real. Not as they were portrayed completely in the book or its story, but in the real world, mixing potions, following time old traditions, hierarchy, helping, healing - looking out for each other.
The idea that they had learn and train and yet lived (in some instances) along side so called 'normal' people. I pondered the thoughts for many weeks, distracted by them, but surrounded by my chaotic life, I was really struggling. Ryley has other health needs too and trying to help him cope with little understanding is challenging at times to say the least, hearbraking always. I suddenly found myself filled with energy one night, I say energy, I use the term loosely as am yet to learn what that actually means here, but I felt driven.
My mind was racing, I couldn't think of anything but how I can help my son cope or feel better. My mind was full of blue, I need to wish on a blue candle! Well that is what kept coming into my head. Then repeating 'blue healing'. That was it I started to think about a lot then and looking up was to help and ease him.
I started looking as I imagine many do, for a spell or amulet or some kind of ritual to help. I of course began to read and learn. I read things here (all the introduction section or newbie central, articles etc). I soon realised that it was not about my son (completely) but the things I read made sense in every part of me.
So I am now here. Not to find spells to win the lottery or cure ill children. But to free something inside of me, to learn about it all, traditionally, the knowledge. I am not deluded by the stories in films or characters, but maybe something else led me through this media and I am grateful of it in every way.
I am slowly beginning to find my path. I have no idea what that means yet or where it goes. But I believe this is definitely part of the way.
Thank you for reading.
NOTE * - I put this here because I wavered at this point. I thought 'this is too much'...ran straight for my cards and was told to have confidence and that is ok that I do not fully understand why I am doing this but I should have faith, more faith, and keep going. :) (I don't know if I am allowed to put the full meaning of the particular card).
I've always thought the difference between pop culture paganism, and true Paganism is that True pagans don't feel the need to throw it in ur face. we're a quiet people. if a girl comes up to me and randomly declares she's a witch, i totally don't believe her.
