Complex Love Spell Needed

One more quick note to add, I think the #1 biggest issue I've got with all of this is her irrational fear that if the separate again (if she makes the choice) that her daughters will hate her, and in addition to that she will no longer be able to see her granddaughters as the one daughter will keep her from them.

I am quite certain this would not happen at all... she's always had a very good relationship with the daughter who has the grand-daughters and the grand-daughters absolutely love her too, she seems them at least once a week and they often sleep over and they have a great relationship and I honestly can't see the one daughter being so upset that she would keep her daughters away from their grandmother... it's just not going to happen.

But she has this overwhelming fear that it will. If I can clear that fear from her mind somehow... and make her at ease with her decision... that alone would help tremendously.

Thank you for your kind words. I have always believed (along with many) that magic should be practical. It's common around sites like this to shun any types of coercive magic. And while i don't condone creating dischord in the world willy-nilly, to carte blanche say spells of this nature shouldn't be done discredits centuries of spells within the worldwide materia magica. People have their reasonings, and who am i (or anyone) to judge?

I copied some of your questions - i put them in quotes. My responses follow.

"#3. The mental influence certainly sounds interesting if I can influence the husband, especially to be understanding to the whole situation and more willing to move on. I'm having a look at that book you mentioned on Amazon right now, do you have any other resources regarding that?"

As i alluded to, i have never personally done this specific type of spellwork, so i don't have any personal recommendations. I do know of a great blog to search that might help you craft something. The author has several excellent spells to control another and to get thoughts into someone's head. Due to her strict copyright regulations, i cannot post a link to specific spells, but if you click on the tab of cursing and controlling spells and scroll through, you'll find some ideas.

http://originalninjacat.typepad.com/my_weblog/

"I've thought about break-up/divorce spells many times but I have read that they are very messy and cause a lot of pain and turmoil (is it true?) and I would like to avoid as much of that as possible while still getting them to go their separate ways, but content to do it. With them feeling it's the right thing for them."

Yes, they do. You would have to be okay with watching the potential strife and upset and continue with your spellwork in the midst of it. For some people they can live with this. If you can't, then don't do it. Western culture is rife with people who are resistant to change. Even in the best of circumstances, even if things change amicably, you can probably still expect a degree of upset. People are just not as fluid as they could be. This will probably happen any way, regardless if you use magic to hurry things along.

"#7. I think also would be good, if she could be more clear minded in her decision. I see a number of the spells you've mentioned at the luckymojo site linked from your own site:
http://www.luckymojo.com/kingsolomonwisdom.html"

Consider petitioning a saint or diety for help. Even King Solomon could be called on for wise counsel. You can call in a wise ancestor as well. Perhaps i'm wrong, but i think a spell of this nature demands some wise spiritual counsel to whisper in your lover's ear. This would most likely be some sort of ongoing altar work with a petition explicitly written out of your vision for them with candles and images of your spiritual helper plus any sort of offerings regularly set out.

"#5. As for a honey-jar spell to get her husband to find a new love or re-unite with previous lover. How does that work in terms of whose name you would write down on the candles or photos and if I don't have a photo of his ex. I in-fact don't actually even know her name, but I do understand that he was fairly happy with her when they were together."

Magic works on the path of least resistance. You don't need the ex's name, and perhaps it's better that way. Ideally, the husband will fall in love with the first available person ready to receive this love. This might very well be the ex if that's what's easiest.

With most honey jar spells you write the names on name papers. You would make one up for the husband, preferably with some sort of personal effect and/or photograph, and then you'd make another for an unknown lover. You could make a couple name papers - one for The Unknown Ex and one for A New Love. I would use those terms, unless you have a better wording that makes more sense to you. You'd then burn candles on top of the jar anointed with a love-drawing/attraction kind of oil and herb powder.

i didn't mention this, but i think doing paired Lodestone work on your altar would be worthwhile - one stone for you and one for your lover. I have articles on my blog, and Lucky Mojo has plenty of artciles plus matched male/female stones for sale too. In fact, you'd be well-served by erecting a permanent love altar devoted to the two of you right now until you're reunited. I'd put a photograph and imiages of the Divine, read poems by Rumi, Song of Songs, et al, burn candles, work Lodestones, and pray over it regularly.

Best of luck!

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are you looking for a love spell?well thats ok with me but remember that controlling one's free will is not a good choice.i really dont like being the controller of a tv,but its your life...though i dont recommend it.

Okay, I've been doing a lot more thinking about all of this today and considering all the suggestions given above so far.

First I'm going to state that I'm quite beginner at most of this stuff but that doesn't discourage me. If you've read my welcome post I've done small amounts of energy work in the past which I have had results from, never really tried controlling or binding anyone using it.

As to controlling the woman directly, the one whom I love, I don't think there's a need to do that, she already tells me a regular basis that she wishes there was a way she could be with me again but she is terrified of giving up on her family. We talk fairly regularly about it.

As to controlling her family members... I don't have a huge problem with that, more specifically the husband, or at least putting thoughts and desires into his head.

As for the children, I just need them to reassure their mother that they will love her no matter the outcome, I need the woman to feel safe in this regard, I truly believe that is the most major thing holding her back from making a more confident decision. So I'd be interested in a least putting thoughts in their head to remind their mother how much they love her.

I'd like to put the idea into the husband's head to be sympathetic and understanding and realize that the family kind of pushed this circumstance upon the woman and didn't really give her time to consider it on her own. And for him to realize the goodness that he had with his ex-girlfriend during the time he was apart from his wife and desire to try to return to her perhaps.

Now... in order to do some of these I'm to have to acquire a number of supplies which I don't have readily available and it will probably take me a few weeks as I have to order a lot of things online, such as the condition oils and certain candles and other such items.

LdyGry (or anyone else in the know),

Is there anything I can do in the mean-time without most of these supplies. All I have right now are some white, red and black candles (about 10 of each) and some black yarn, most everything else I will need to gather.

I know basics of some energy work, how to draw power from around me/the earth, etc, and am able to focus intentions.

Also do you have any specific recommendations on:

#8. I would like this all to go as easy and peacefully as possible.

#9. And I want the woman to remain emotionally stable and okay with these changes.

And is there any good spells that might make her just plainy more open to me telling her that her children aren't going to hate her? She's stuck in this motherly protection/love kind of state where she can't bare the thought of them being upset with her. I need to break that and have her listen to reason.

Maybe you could do a spell to make the kids realize that this isn't working out and to tell the mother that it's ok if she doesn't love him. Also, in the meantime get her to read some good books about parents with divorced kids. It might make her realize that they won't hate her. Tell her her happiness is what matters most and maybe she and her husband should try living apart for about six or eight months to see how the kids react. Tell her not to tell the kids that the husband might be back because then she won't be able to see how they are without him. You can use this as an experiment to see how the kids react. Although, I would recommend trying it for one to two years, that way she can see for herself that her kids won't hate her, and remember, don't tell the kids that the husband might come back if it doesn't work. During that time period of separation she can try and focus on herself,you, and her kids. If you can just get her to try it for a year or two she might be much happier than she was when he was around. If you can talk her into that you might not need a spell.

I wish that what you suggest was possible. But they were already apart for a year... she seemed so much happier than she is now, but she is just blinded by this stupidness about her kids hating her.

And I can guarantee she won't read any books about this stuff. I have considered soooo many options before deciding to come here and turn to magic. I feel I only have 2 real options anymore cause she's not listening to my trying to reason with her.

She tells me over and over again that she is so terribly torn between losing me or losing her kids that she can't make a decision either way. She says if she doesn't keep trying with her husband that her kids will hate her and she says that if she takes a step further to cut me off to actually try harder with him that she would be soooo very sad that she just can't do it.

While at the same time she also says that if she chooses to go with me she is terrified of losing her kids, which would be just as sad if not even more sad for her so she just is in this gridlock of fear of losing people she loves.

She's friends with the husband, they get along now for the past couple months but purely as friends. She feels *nothing* for him she says, no romance whatsoever but they are residing in the house peacefully together without getting annoyed with one another as they did in the past.

Hey separating from him again for 6 to 8 months is absolutely not an option at all, they were already just apart for a year up until the beginning of August when her daughters both convinced her to try this.

So my two options are 1. to just keep waiting, which I have been doing for the past 2.5 months... waiting for them to figure their crap out... and 2. to bring some magic into this mix and speed things up.

I truly believe that the longer they go at this, the more they hurt one another in the long run cause they're wasting each others lives. The husband's going to end up getting upset that he left his previous girlfriend to try this again for nothing at all. The whole situation makes me so sad. Waiting for them is honestly torture yet I am committed to continue to wait cause what me and the woman had was extremely special, in all my years I've never experienced anything even remotely close to the way me and her connect with one another and she says she feels that exact same way and is one of the biggest reasons it's so hard for her and she is unable to cut me off.

She has drawn back from me because she feels guilty having committed to "try again" with her husband but still feeling very very much towards me.

And I know that if this wedding had never happened she would have NEVER considered getting back with him, they'd probably be in the divorce process right now.

It makes me really upset that all of this even happened in the first place. And I'll be honest, some days / weeks... I contemplate just doing some heavy discord spells and kind of just "be done with it". But I fear that I would feel badly afterwards if I did that.

The one daughter who lives with her is oblivious to them not working out. They "play nice" when they're in front of the daughter who lives with them. The older daughter is grown up with her own life and daughters and so she doesn't see any of this either.

This woman is very good at hiding her emotions.

As to telling her that happiness is what matters most, well... again I go back to her feeling absolutely torn. She doesn't think she'll be happy either way. When I have discussions with her she says "I'm fucked either way" because she literally feels it's black and white, if she chooses me, the kids hate her, if she choose to stay, she has to cut me off and lose me.

She has also told me that if this trying of hers doesn't work out, she won't be trying again, and this time she'll be the one leaving rather than her husband (who left last time).

Like I say I talk to her on a regular basis, I really try convincing her of things but she just absolutely doesn't listen to reason, she's just wait too paranoid and has this block. I know I'm repeating myself from previous posts and like I've said right from the very beginning. The entire situation is just so very complex that it hurts. :(

A lot of my friends & family don't understand why I don't just walk away from all of this, there are a few who understand but most don't and I can't explain it to them other than to say that I care very very deeply for this woman and think she's just made a bad mistake that she feels that she's kind of "stuck" with now.

I feel so bad for her and at the same time I miss her so very much... some days it just really really gets to me (today is one of those days, one of the days). I'm very sad about it all today. :(

You have quite the complex situation, don't you?

There's only one thing you need to do, and that's to focus on the husband/father.

Since reuniting him with he previous girlfriend is rather slim, you just want to place the thought in his head to leave.

I would suggest checking out the "spells" tab, on this site, and look through the love spells section. There's quite a number of breakup & banishing spells under each grouping.

This is as simple as I can make it, as my usual methods are rather ... complex ...

Yup, very complex. But I have patience to work though this and believe it's worth working and waiting for.

I agree that the husband should be my primary focus. I've been looking into some of the "Influence their thinking" spells referenced by LdyGry, I'll check out the spells section here too.

I'm considering something along the lines of this here:
originalninjacat typepad com/my_weblog/2008/02/skull-candle-co.html

I know I just mentioned in my previous post that some days I consider just doing a discord spell and be done with it but I know I'd feel a lot better overall in the long run if I can do something more peaceable.

I don't want people to be all angry with one another after it's all said and done. I want them to still be able to co-parent their children together without anger or hate towards one another. I'm totally okay with them remaining friends afterwards and in-fact want that, I think it's best overall for the family unit and for the woman's own stress levels.

She doesn't feel anything towards him romantically and hasn't for years so that isn't a big concern of mine and I know she got back into this primarily for the kid's sake.

I would like to try to just put the idea into his head to be understanding and sympathetic to the fact that woman doesn't want this and for them to work something out for them to be separate again and for him to just be able to completely move on and accept the fact that any romance between the two of them is over and be able to be okay with that and find something better. Someone who will actually give him what he needs and they can each have their own freedom.

So I'm going to make that my primary focus. I'll maybe do an influence spell like that combined with a honey-jar on his behalf to find someone new. And then as those spells begin to manifest, work on healing and accepting spells for the rest of the family.

I know this will all take some time and when all is said and done I will come back here and report any successes. And in the mean time I'm still very much open to any additional suggestions or spell references as I gather materials and prepare.

Thanks so much for all the help so far, it means a lot.

When you do the spell, don't tell anyone else what you're doing because if one of the family members finds out what happened, it could make them very angry.