So this isnt exactly how to do something magical, but I thought if id find anyone who could help me it would be someone here.
I am the kind of person who prefers to keep my social life with friends and family seporate from my magical life (what i am, what ive done, and more or less everything remotly magical).
This leads to me having problem dealing with who I refer to as outsiders(or people who I keep ignorent of what I am for fear they wont believe me). I realy don't like hideing but I can't find a way to combining the two that seems like it could concevably work.
Anybody else have to deal with this? If so, how do I come to terms with it, so I stop feeling like i have to lie about who I am, or figurativly hide under a rock?
When magick becomes a part of who you are, it's nearly impossible to "separate" who you are to whom. You don't have to talk magick with everyone. You don't need to discuss spells, rituals, theology, ect. with every person you see just because it's part of your life and you feel the need to bring it up. When magick becomes who you are, you are comfortable expressing yourself and carrying yourself around others, expressing your opinions on magick IF they come up, ect.
I used to deal with the same thing. My parents always asked why I'm interested in this stuff. My friends as well. So, the best thing to do is just to come out with it. Tell your parents and friends that you are interested in magic and wish to study. It will make you feel much better, trust me.
Thanks, but I dont think many people respond well to being told that the person they are talking to deals with demons/evil spirits, and inhuman creatures, and does not concider themself entierly human. Generaly they just tell you your crazy and run as far away as their legs can take them.
You tell people who are serious practitioners that you are only part human, they are going to call you crazy as well. What with the impossibility of it and all.
Rashnu
Thats why I have such a problem with it. I can not even trust that most people who believe that magic is no only possible but real and in every day life, will even entertain the topic.
I am not asking you to believe me, because I know how most people (magical or not) will take it. I have accepted that.
However, I know I am not crazy. I know myself, I know what happened to me and I know what I am going through.
I am asking for people who do believe me, or who are like me, and have gone through what I am dealing with to help me out.
I appreciate that you felt the need to comment, and I honor your comment as your opinion as you are entitled to it, but you are exactly the kind of person I fear and am talking about. One who will offer no help and call me crazy.
Think of it this way : How can I accept you calling me crazy when once upon a time you would have been called the same thing, by the world at large, for simply believing in magic?
Again I'm not asking you to accept me or my ideas, just to understand that your belief about the world and the magical things that may or may not be in it, is not the be-all-end-all last-word of things on the subject. And that comments to someone who is truly upset and looking for help, like the one you left has no positive feedback and is no more than hurtful.
People come onto this site all the time claiming they are not human. After every new movie that comes out with "creatures", someone (or handfuls of them) show up swearing they have symptoms of this and that. People swear they are not human, they are part demon, part angel, part mermaid, are werewolves, ect.
If you have a blood test done, your results I can guarantee will say that you are human. In fact, I'd bet my life savings on it.
If you are speaking of your soul, or higher self being a demon, angel, god, ect...then I could at least entertain the idea. You have not made mention of that.
Science and magick go hand in hand. Science says your physical vessel is human. If tests say otherwise, I wouldn't advertise it as multiple government agencies will show up on your door step wanting to do experiments.
Again, if you speak of your soul or higher self, it's another matter entirely and you should probably learn to specifically state that. But as I said in my first statement (which was apparently ignored by me "hurtful" one), there is no need to run around and tell people what you do or what you consider yourself to be. People do that when they need acceptance and affirmation and I can tell you from experience, no one can give that to you but YOU.
As far as being "hurtful", I have never walked on egg shells for anyone and I do not plan to start. The truth hurts sometimes. It doesn't make it any less true.
I would like to make the point that while our Bodies are entirely human, our souls are Divine.
Regardless of personal belief, the soul is made of energy. Harmonics and distortions in field and nature. Its easily possible to feel inhuman because ones soul is more energized feeling, or if you advance in energy work/magic.
This doesn't mean you aren't human, or claim to be inhuman, but that you can Feel in the depths of your soul that there is More to you then the flesh appears. Nothing untowards with that, and most others of different religious or philosophical bents will comprehend if you say it in that manner.
