Pagan Humor

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Casserole.

To prepare for this ritual, clear a space for the circle in the center of the kitchen. Then don your ceremonial apron and hold your ceremonial spatula in your right hand. Stand in the center of the circle and face East.

You are ready to begin. With your spatula, draw a banishing pentagram to the East. Then, thrust your spatula through the pentagram and say,

“Microwave dinners, be gone!”

Move to the South. Again, draw a banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, and say,

“TV dinners, be gone!”

Move to the West. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, and say,

“Ramen instant noodles, be gone!”

Move to the North. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, and say,

“Mystery meat in a can, be gone!”

Move to the center of the circle and stand still. Chant the following:

“Before me, Martha Stewart. Behind me, Betty Crocker. To my right side, Julia Child. To my left side, Martha Stewart, again!”

Visualize yourself standing in a giant casserole and proclaim,

“For about me bakes the casserole, and around me shines the 6-course meal.”

Clap your hands three times and say,

“It's a good thing.”

The rite is over. If the ritual is not effective, please order take-out ASAP!

This is from http://www.livingwithmagick.com/humor/lbrc.php

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I laughed so hard. Thanks for sharing that.

If you follow the link and find the other one called "you give pagans a bad name", it is equally funny. I didn't post it because it describes the majority of this community (sadly) and I felt it would create an argument.

That is the best post I have read all day, and I needed the lol's. Thanks and blessings Rav3n :D

*holds bowl of ramen in her arms lovingly* But I love my ramen noodles...they are so tasty. :(

That was totally epic funny

definitely need a "like" button for this.

Awesome. Heheheee seriously funny as! Thanks for sharing!

Hardest I've laughed in a while. Loved the ramen noodles and mystery meat parts. :)

Godess Martha Stewert would be so proud! The ramen god isn't though! lol!