Many people here have really diferent religions. I thought i would make this post for people that would like to share their aspects of religion even not having choose one and if one has chosen one why he/she has done so. This is my personal view, story and i mean no offense to any religion. This is how i came to be.
I was born into a christian family. My grandmother used the devil on me when i was a kid to scare me so i would go to the church with her. Christianity was a religion that from when i was really young and i mean around the age of 7 that did not feel right for me and i always questioned it from that age and got into a lot of trouble for doing so. At the age of 8 i decided to learn more about the devil the image that my family tried to scare me with. I thought that the first step for learning more about him was to analyse his name (i was a smart 8 y.o.) . Lucifer in greek is Eosforos which means the one that brings the light or dawn. This had made me really thoughtfull as to why i should be afraid and scared of someone that brings the light.
At that point i started thinking what the light means to me. I started having dreams of a person coming to me and shining me in light and i felt so energised and happy that i searched him out in my dreams.
We had a huge collection of encyclopedia at my parents house i never went anywhere near them in my entire life though. One day i was passing through the library and for some reason i felt i couldnt move forward, i felt something screaming in me to go to that library. I went to it and i started reading the titles of the encyclopedia and what they said on their side and wondered why in the world did i came here. I loved books but the random informations thrown into encyclopedias always bored me.
I thought that this was the stupidest act of my life to go and look in the encyclopedia until i found a series about greek mythology. I always loved the myths and i decided to see one and picked the first book with the letter A. i opened a page at random and came across Apollona or Apollo and i started reading informations about him. He is the god of sun and light and i noticed how many similarities Apollo had with Lucifer of the christians and how much Apollo reminded me of the person in my dreams. After that day though i did not dream again of him.
One day my grandma after some months decided to take me again with her to the church. I decided to join her cause i thought it would be a lovely time to bombar the priest with all the questions i had. On that day i made the priest curse with my questions about if he had noticed all the similarities between Apollo and Lucifer, and how the church was so absolute about Lucifer being evil....In the end after the priest had gotten over his shock he told me that in christianity their moto was "believe and dont research/question about it" ..then i realised what the light means to me as Arriana the light means knowledge for me.
I remembered the dreams i had and how energised i felt under the light in my dream. I went outside that day on my roof and stayed there all day. I stayed under the sun and meditated and opened my senses and tried to feel everything around me. ( i knew how to meditate from really young i had temper issues and my uncle had taught me). I felt through the sunlight life itself and i noticed around me how nothing was hidden under the sunlight how truth and everything were open for everyone to see. The sun gave life and energy to everything even to the smallest of flower and animal. SO the sun for me from that day meant life, energy and knowledge and honesty.
I decided to stay up there till under the sun had set and i was looking at the moon how diferent and alike with the sun it is. The moon doesnt have light of its own. The moonlight is a version of the sunlight only diferent. Under the moon everything look diferent, silent and with secrets but the moon shines as well and therefore things can be seen under it but diferently. The moon gives a diferent vibe and if the sun is life then the moon is rebirth, afterlife. Like the rays of sun that leave the sun only to go through the moon and reach earth their destination. They might use a diferent way but still are part of the same. Part of life.
Then i climbed down the roof and went to the book i have never stopped carrying around. I opened the book again to Apollo and read again about him and how he was a perfect represantation of what i had already come to conclusion and then i read about his twin Artemis and how she was the moon goddess and how much connected i felt to her while reading about her. Feeling connected to a deity is something so amazing. I already felt connected to Apollo but in a diferent way like he was a teacher but with Artemis i felt like she was a part of me. We had so many similarities and the connection i felt with her was like nothing else i had experienced. I felt like i was finally in the right path. From that day i worshipped Artemis and Apollo even though my parents made fun of me saying that i couldnt worship a mythical person and if i had to choose from myths why i didnt choose mermaids or something??and they were not supportive and still call me a witch in a bad way.
My instict told me how i was not wrong though. I felt like i belonged finally and i decided in the next full moon at my age of 9 to make a ceremony/ritual to honor my deities. At that day though i felt nervous and questioned my own faith so i did a spell to ask for signs that the path i am walking in is my destiny. After the ritual for Artemis and Apollo and my spell i fell almost immediately asleep. That night in my dreams Artemis and Apollo came to me i will not share the dream cause i think of it as really personal but i will say that from that day they have been wonderful teachers even though some times hard with me. And thats how i came to be a hellenic pagan with Artemis and Apollo as my patrons. They are the ones that helped me evolve in paganism and magick and of course my instict has been a wonderful teacher as well and my first one since my instict guided me to my deities.
blessed be everyone
My Religion
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
