Finding Dead Loved One

A little over two years ago, my ex - who was also my first love - committed suicide. This has ruled my life ever since it has happened...I want to connect with him. Maybe find closure. I don't know. I want so much to tell him I love him and that I'm sorry for everything. I've astral projected before many times but only on accident (and while it was happenening I wasn't sure what it was). About a year ago I started studying AP and how to accomplish it successfully yourself. I havn't been successful yet.
My question is, could this be a bad idea? I'm still very much in love with him even though I am married. I don't want to hinder anything he might be doing for his personal growth and healing - I don't want to hinder myself aswell seeing that if I see him, I'd want to spend forever with him.

This is really confusing.

I guess I'm looking for any opinions or personal experiences regarding this topic.

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You wouldn't need to project to contact him. Merely invite his presence and tell him what you wish to tell him. Be grounded and centered, relaxed, and prepared to feel some very strong emotions and don't try to surpress any feelings. Be open to your intuition. Spirits don't always communicate with full on verbal sentences, but you don't have to hear them say something to know what they mean. If I were you, I'd set a day aside to do this. You probably wouldn't be actively communicating with him all day, but you are going to feel some raw emotions and it is best if you try not to be involved with daily life. Afterwords, take a shower, read a book, draw, write, or do whatever hobby you normally do to help in closure after you are done speaking with him.

You are all ready connected with him, just before you meditate ask him to come into the meditation with you then try and go into a deep meditation.

Thanks for your replies :)