I believe that I am being harassed by a malevolent spirit or demon. I have experienced night terrors every year since I was a child (about 8 years old?).
The most disturbing thing is that there are instances when I am fully conscious & have not fallen asleep yet & do not feel sleepy at all... & I will feel the sensation of someone sitting on the end of my bed (I can feel the mattress sink), or the feeling of my comforter being slowly pulled off the bed, or the sensation of weight (like a hand, or something crawling) moving up my leg...
There have been a couple times where I was on my laptop & sitting up, either home alone or my mom is asleep in her bedroom (same floor as me) & I can hear something moving downstairs... it sounds like a chair being dragged across the floor, or someone bumping into the furniture. FYI we do not have cats & my dog is in my bedroom with me...
One time I saw a "shadow man" standing beside my bed, staring at me in a malicious manner. I have also sensed an overwhelmingly strong sinister presence in my bedroom while I was 100% conscious (I had just shut down my laptop & placed it on the floor when I became aware of it). I have never before & likely will never again experience such terror. I felt paralyzed with fear & yet a strong urge to flee. I managed to leave my bedroom, on very slow, wobbly, rubber legs though I wanted to run. One disturbing incident just occurred a few months ago. I was laying in bed (asleep?) & a man? was in bed laying next to me. He was massaging my neck & it felt AMAZING. I cannot adequately describe how REAL it felt. I wanted it to never end, yet I was surprised at how real & good it felt (I believed myself to be dreaming). I lifted my head off of the bed & turned to look at "him." I tell you it was as if I was truly awake & still I am not sure whether I was or not. My bedroom appeared just as it would visually if I was in fact awake. Except for the FACELESS "man" in my bed! As soon as I saw him, his grip on the back of my neck tightened & I felt a sharp, pinching pain. I was terrified & paralyzed. I struggled (in my mind) & thought WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! Finally I was able to move & kicked my blankets off, jumping out of bed. I did not feel as though I "woke up;" it was a seamless awareness, which is why I cannot say whether I was asleep or not during the incident. The creepiest part was that I noticed that my neck was hurting a lot, just as if someone had pinched it like the faceless man did.
I suffer from insomnia due to these experiences. I often stay up late until 6am, since I only feel safe sleeping during the day. Sometimes I merely leave a light on. Sometimes I do not sleep that night, or the next night...
I also sometimes have disturbing sexual dreams, that I am "enjoying" while I am having them, but I feel completely disgusted & confused when I awake. The content of these dreams are not anything that I would be even remotely interested in & would be quite repulsed by. I will not share what these dreams involved, as they are that vile. I have read that some spirits/demons can cause you to have disturbing nightmares or sexual dreams...
I have basically zero experience with magic. So I need extremely simple spells that a newbie could try. Although I have dabbled a bit with tarot cards (readings for myself that tend to be accurate) & I have had accurate dreams that I could describe as psychic? So I feel as though I have some untapped "skill" in this area?
Also I have very little money. I do have some sage, some tiny crystals that I bought for balancing my chakras, as well as a pendulum (that have been "charged" & purified).
One thing I should note is that these experiences are not limited to my home. I have also had experiences at friends' houses. So I also need some spells that protect me, not just my home.
I've had similar experiences with sleep paralysis. When I searched online, some articles suggested that it was all a dream but with the terror triggered by the body being partially awake, so the solution was to fall completely asleep and maybe even use the sleep paralysis episode as an opportunity to be lucid (for lucid dreaming, which is pretty cool.) Unfortunately, whether the beings around me were evil entities or just nightmares, it didn't make a difference. I would always be too afraid to even try, even though I planned to each time after I found out what it was.
One night, I had a lucid dream that became a nightmare. These entities had barged in to ruin my dream, even though I "knew" that I was dreaming I couldn't control the dream enough to stop them, so they turned it into a nightmare and I partially woke up. I found myself in my bed, unable to move, with these gross and scary people standing around me even though I knew that was impossible. That was the moment I felt defiance and said that if they were going to take me down to hell with them, then I would dare them to do it. I began to sink into the mattress, and then I fully woke up.
Since then, I believe that even though they're scary, they do not actually have any power. When you challenge them to do their worst to you, they cannot do anything at all.
They can be a part of your mind and a spiritual being at the same time. Catherine MacCoun in her alchemy book (that I highly recommend for information about magic in general) wrote that beings of the "lower" planes, their whole individual consciousness is most like a shred of our own individual consciousness. This is why we can be influenced by them, because they do not know what it means to say "I" or "you"; but this also means that they can't influence us enough to ruin our lives. They're just parasites, ones that we can even absorb and transform within us.
After my confrontation with the sleep paralysis and nightmare horrors that I just described, I was able to interact with beings during sleep paralysis who were much more comfortable company. I think that the nighmarish entities had formed a wall of sorts between myself and better company. Confrontation alone was enough to dissipate them.
Funnily enough, I've also seen faceless people and gotten random neck massages during sleep paralysis! If you ever find yourself in a place made out of red light with a lot of black beetles, maybe look for your astral weapon because that's where I sort of found mine. You'll know what it is because it will feel like it always has belonged to you.
I would like to find that anger & defiance that you describe, but being able to find that strength would be extremely difficult due to the overwhelming fear. Perhaps if I start getting mad in my fully conscious moments, it will be easier to carry this over in my altered consciousness moments (I say it that way, because I am not always asleep, falling asleep, or waking up when it happens).
Now I believe I have astral traveled in my dreams a few times... do you recommend that I work on astral traveling to help with this issue? I must admit that I am afraid of meeting these beings while I am astral traveling & being unable to defend myself. :/
Whether they can do anything physically to me or not does not really concern me. They are hurting me psychologically & emotionally. And physically as well, if I count the sleep I have lost as a result. :/
I would recommend astral projection only because it sounds as if that's what you are already doing, even though you don't mean to do it. If it's something that will happen to you, then might as well know what to do.
Defiance and anger were my natural responses to the fear itself wearing out. Yours might be different, but I don't believe that I could have rushed it either.
Maybe keep a record of what you have seen and experienced. If these are the shreds of consciousness that I mentioned, then they can be accessible in your imagination. Even if that is "just" imagination, to see them in your mind again (when you are not in sleep paralysis) can allow you to become less fearful in case they make another appearance the next time (if or when you are in sleep paralysis) because you can get used to seeing them and being around them.
Jungian psychology also helped me a lot, because his writings were often almost spiritual. If you feel that wearing a protective symbol to sleep such as a pentagram or a crucifix can help, then that is probably true. I myself went with a sort of tiger's eye crystal grid (I used the tiger's eye beads from a broken bracelet) with bay leaves added.
I have as well dreamed like this. As I was being forced and could not move or defend myself. I would wake drained of energy and worried. I remember as I child it was like this for me as well my cousin who was 3 at the time said she saw a burnt person standing over me watching me sleep. I have felt as if I been terrorized but for me I finally fought back in my sleep and would announce I was not scared anymore. Little by little I notice it was easing away. I believe it is fear they fed on and show little as possiable
Let me know if I don't understand you correctly.. but you are saying that I could re-imagine the incidents, but create a different ending? Imagining myself "talking back," showing no fear & defending myself?
Yes, I was thinking that I could somehow charge an item with a protection spell. Maybe I could use the ribbon that is tied around my tarot cards, as I feel that I have a connection or bond with that deck (I have been using it since I was a child). That will serve until I am able to buy a piece of jewelry for the purpose.
I think so too... from what I have read, they feed on your fear. These incidents tend to occur when I am under a lot of stress in my life, so it's possible that I am attracting these being(s) with this negative energy?
There's ways of figuring out whether it's actually an entity or something going on with your subconscious... I specialize in working with entities and in some cases getting them to leave curtain people or places alone.
This post is the creepiest thing I have read on this site. Sounds terrifying. Ive seen some kind of shadow people before but I've never been scared by them more feeling as though they are just observing and don't mean any harm.
you are saying that I could re-imagine the incidents, but create a different ending? Imagining myself "talking back," showing no fear & defending myself?
That's one way, yes.
Also if you lose control of your imagination, then that can mean that you have made a connection with the entity, but it would be contained on your terms (in imagination) rather than in sleep paralysis which is interacting on their terms.
