(Un)Expected results

Hi,
Has anyone ever done a casting and gotten the result you wanted but in a way you weren't expecting it to happen?
I have been wanting to improve my singing and have been seriously contemplating persuing it as a second career (I already do fashion design). I did some meditating a few weeks ago and remembered a promise I made to myself when I was younger to return to my original life passion after my parents and other circumstances got in the way, so set up an online altar and asked several Gods and Goddesses to help me move my life in the right direction and unblock whatever negativity/mental block I was holding onto since my dream was broken.
Fast forward to this week and I have found myself unable to attend the university course I had applied for back in January and repeatedly drawn to a Diploma in Popular Music Performance, with a focus on vocals, which will refresh my memory on music theory and performance as it's been a fair few years since I did anything beyond singing along with movies/youtube/itunes.
At first I was really angry that I couldn't do the first course after months of preparation until it clicked that this is exactly what I asked for. This time it was ME who requsted the block in order to fulfil my promise to myself.
I apologised to all the deities I requsted help from and thanked them as well, but now I'm about to head in the right direction can't seem to get passed my nerves and memory problems. I bought a pyrite necklace as I read it's good for blocking negative attacks and enhancing memory. I'm not sure if it's the pyrite not working or if it's me in my own way because I'm terrified of not being good enough and letting myself down.
I know deep down I have what it takes but can't seem to shut off that voice.

I have been thinking of either purchashing a gris-gris bag or doing something myself as I think using only my intentions and will would work better. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks and blessed be.

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in regards to the gris-gris bag they are realy easy to make

Thanks. I might opt for some kind of jewellery like a woven band as it would be something I can wear all the time.



And negative attacks can also come from within if you constantly belittle yourself or say you aren't good enough, it doesn't necessarily have to be a large attack. I mean you can burst a balloon with a pin, so even small negative words can be really bad.