Energy illness, influence

Hello! I'm wondering if anyone has an opinion or even if someone reading this can pick up on anything from/around me.
My energy is just...wrong. I can't see auras, and my clairaudient signs are only vague key terms, so I feel lost. What I do know:
My sphere of influence is bigger than my house, I'm aware of things that happen because of me but I can't control them. For example when I feel my energy surge (for any reason) things around me... flex? Nothing falls or breaks like a poltergeist but plastic bottles crinkle or the house gives a slight shake, or there is a loud knock on my door behind me.
I feel like I am a very strong person psychically but almost like my magical/spiritual connection is broken now. Could my self loathing be keeping my energy so sick I can't use it properly? Am I blocked by the disgusting energy of other people? I've had sexual abuse from more than one person as a kid and until 17. I am not afraid of anything but I feel a spiritual chill from my grandmother; she has abilities too but doesn't fully understand or use them either. Chakra healing helps me but seems to fade so quickly. I have so many symptoms of blocked or out of line chakras, I feel the only lasting thing I can do is cover myself head to toe in rainbows; I can't spend many hours a day taking time to heal my chakras for only a short relief.
Is there anything that I can make/carry to help my energy issues and maybe keep the channels clear?
Thank you all!
-Levit

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There are a couple of things I could recommend. Find and vette someone you trust to do a reiki healing and chakra assessment, I know that really helps me.

Sound synthesis therapy can also be really positive. It is a very esoteric practice, but if you can find someone who does it you will not be disappointed.

You could also do some divination work either on your own or with someone you trust. Pendulum work or tarot may provide at least some insights into what is happening.

Acupuncture might be useful too, at least youll physically get your energy aligned and that might be useful.

A combination of all of these things... because what it sounds like is that youve reached a kind of blockage. The universe might be telling you that there is some "thing" that needs to be taken care of before you move on to another change of consciousness.

I think by posting here is a big step because what you are saying or acknowledging is that you need some kind of insight from someone else to help you. That is an act of humility that shows a serious desire for personal growth.

Good luck, and look at it this way, you may be on the cusp of something really significant once you get past this point!

~Thor

PS Road Oener in the hoodoo tradition might be really useful too...look into it, especially if thats not a path your familiar with....might be time to change some things up and gain new knowledge. Its an easy work and you can do it yourself...

~Thor

Before you read this please understand that this is merely my personal opinion based on experience and what I've both heard, researched, and seen. Therefore, take this as if you would someone trying to suggest advice as this is not anything, but my thoughts.

I would find someone you can truly trust to do any type of energy work on you if you are wishing to place that request in someone else's hands. As personally by allowing someone to directly work on you energetically you establish a link with them that is harder to break than you think.

Frankly, the mind is a powerful thing and I've been in the spots where I feel some blockage where I just don't feel right. Chakra points since I see you've mentioned them; I suggest finding at some point time to work on them. After all in what I've seen you're the most effective in unclogging your energy points. Familiarize yourself with what each point governs then maybe try some specific meditations designed for whatever point you want to work on.

In some beliefs when a chakra point is spinning counter clockwise, sluggish, or even too fast it can indicate that area of your life is off balance. These are things I've personally noticed when I have meditated on my body and with a few google searches on what governs what, truth in this as well.

Various techniques and ways to help cleanse yourself are available and the best ways I suppose is aligned with whatever you belief system is and so on.

In regards to 'sensing or reading' a person on the internet, that can be very difficult as you are operating through a machine with an online persona created based on actions that are of limited ability to give a valid idea of you. Some people can do a great job, others not so much, but that is a hit or miss situation.

Perhaps there is something just weighing heavily on your conscious and you need to resolve it. Pay attention to your dreams if you recall them as they are believed to be your subconscious working out problems.

Besides daily cleansing rituals I suppose the only thing we people can do is send healing energies and hope you get through your rough patch. Ultimately, it's your giant you have to slay.

I hope this helps.

Regarding the chakra*, the leading practice is known as Kundalini. In this practice, it describes the chakra points spinning both widdershins, and desoil. (counter and clockwise). They also have a specific tone one applies orally to each chakra center. Im confident you will benefit from doing the exercises properly.. I think i saw you say you have a lack of self love, this is detrimental to growth. We must love ourselves, good and bad, in order to grow healthily. "True strength lies between rage and serenity." Prof. X(lol).

If after you find and try the kundalini exercises, and your energy is still fleeting, you may very well have to seek a professional energy worker to help clear your points. Be very cautious in doing this, however. As another said, the link used is strong, and you dont want to be linked to malignancies. On that note, if you have been intimate with another, and they know how to "get" to you, you will have to work extra hard to make your energy becomes strong enough to repel their influence.

Last thing, the stronger you are, the more incentive negative spirits will have to turn you into a battery. Keep your shields up whenever it crosses your mind, and learn the difference between your own thoughts, and sly influences. Mail me if you want to talk about it in depth. Good luck!
_Blessed, we.

Hey Levit,

As mentioned above, quite a few of the aforementioned things can help you. But, I would definitely suggest some kind of crystal to wear. I'll generate a small, but inexhaustible, list of crystals good for balancing the aura and/or cleansing the chakras, but it sounds like a lot of things.

First, it could be stress manifesting itself. While I'm not a psychologist, and these are my personal opinions, not facts, the human mind can be very strange when it's fueled by a lot of negative, stressed out thoughts. If something is weighing on your mind, as someone else mentioned above, it could be throwing you out of rhythm. Of course, this could be a sudden change in your life, the sudden death of a close tie, change in medications, or simply your mind getting exhausted. In today's world, it's very easy for anyone to get into a funk and go out of whack. Try to do some self-analyzing to understand if it is something mentally expressing itself physically.

Second, it's a great idea to see if you can have someone who's trusted to work on you energy-wise. The problem with trying to self-cleanse is that we can't always feel what's wrong - we just know something's wrong. Someone else has the ability to feel the natural vibrations our energy gives off. But, if you can't or feel that it would be too much, try the following crystals while meditating on each chakra or simply with the intention of cleansing your aura:

Amethyst: This stone can be great for psychic healing, and it can help with alleviating an over-active third eye or crown chakra. I find when my third eye and/or crown chakra(s) are over active, I'm more prone to being drowned in everything around me. It's taking in too much and never thinking about what they mean, or thinking about things too much and over-analyzing things.

Ametrine: This is a combination of amethyst and citrine - these two together can really help with blockages as citrine's power is to help heal and cleanse the energies of our bodies. It's used frequently in Reiki practices to alleviate blocked points of energy.

Copper: A metal, sure, but this has a lot of physical properties as well as mental. It can help alleviate pain and detoxify the energies.

Obsidian: This is a really great stone that helps with dispelling negativity. It's also helpful in scrying, as it helps to reveal things that are hidden. I had a ring of obsidian I wore which helped to keep my in a healthy headspace - it broke a few months later, but I felt better about a lot of things.

Piertersite: or Tempest Stone, would be a good help to you as it is known for having the ability to purify the body and the energies around it.

Because of how expansive crystals and the topics they involve can be, I'll leave the rest of the research to you if you choose to select a crystal. It sounds like you're looking for a sturdy stone that can help cleanse your aura, but also keep you grounded.

Lastly, try to ground yourself when you feel like things are going off kilter. Sometimes just meditating for 10 minutes and grounding excessive energies can help one to adjust their mindset and discover a more comfortable frame of mind. There are, in addition to everything else, various herbs, oils, poultices, and teas that could help you as well. But, I'll only add the more information if you would like the option of it.

Best of luck, and I hope it helps!

Umber

Thor: I've been thinking about my tarot cards lately after a few years, and I can't find them! I know you're right about having a "thing" to get taken care of. It's either my self hate, or this lump is cancerous. Though I feel the hate fuels the growth/thing, who knows even caused it partially.

Warringsoul: Daily cleansing has seemed like my best or only option. I'm looking for something that can help keep me balanced throughout the day. I also think an important thing is various techniques.

Maduso: I tend to focus less on shields past few years. Though at times it does feel right to focus on. I'm actually mildly afraid because something inside tells me to be so careful... strange to feel so chilled over something as helpful as shields. I just can't shake the feeling of a horrible backfire for some reason. I'm so confused about it.

Umber: I have been drawn to pictures of crystals and gemstones lately. None seem to be jumping out at me though. Sometimes colors feel important but then I feel nothing came from it... maybe I'm just not "getting" what something is trying to tell me.

Levit

I just hope youre doing some things that are positive for yourself. Physical things, mental and spiritual.

Please take care of yourself and get this figured out. The sense i get is youre on the verge of something really excellent. Dont let yourself lose the chance for that.

~Thor

It's something obtainable throughout time and practice from what I have heard. However, a good stone would be black onyx to help with your balance predicament. As it acts like a grounding tool, and helps convert your negative energies into positive if you charge it with that intent. I have a necklace of black onyx that I've notice helps keep me calmer; which I have not been wearing for a bit...

Look it up sometimes. Quartz might be able to help you out too.

This feeling is not unheard of. Shielding done properly tends to cut you off from the rest of the world to a degree, which can be bad. The side effect of shielding is that it can cause dissonance regarding our energetic relationship with the world. Its like blocking key nutrients from being absorbed.
I myself do not like to shield, it makes me feel like a liar, lol. Some of my experiences have shown me how much people really hide from the world, or themselves for that matter. If you let it, you will lose your true self behind your 'ego', which is why ego death is such an important step in our practice.
Hope we all could help. :D