So, I don't really know if this is "magic" related, so I'm sorry if I'm asking questions on SOM that is not the original purpose of the site. Please inform me to take this post down if so.
Anyway, I (as most people) have doubts and low self-confidence. I feel that in many spells and meditations when you have to believe you "can" I fall short. I think it is partly to do with fear of failure because if I believe something, without doubt, is going to happen and it doesn't happen, then I lose faith in myself and my magick. It is much safer to not commit to something, and if it fails you can always say "well I didn't entirely believe... so it's not my magick or me at fault."
I think this is a natural thing, so I guess it is not much you can help me with. I suppose it's a personal thing. I just would like to know how you mentally program yourself and get over these obstacles, because I don't know how to. Anything helps really. And I am sorry (again) for wasting your time on something that might not entirely be related to magick.
I find this is actually a common thing for people at some point and even multiple points of their practice. I've dealt with it myself a few times over the last 12 years.
Something that could help:
Think about what being a witch/Pagan/etc. means to you and why you want to follow this path. This can help to reaffirm your beliefs and confidence.
Keep a written record of spells, rituals, meditations and all work that you do. This makes it easier to keep track of your work and your results and can help you to see results. Every once and a while go back and read your records and you might realize how certain things have subtly manifested in your life.
In the past when I've had thoughts of "is any of this even real", I would reflect back on past experiences in my life both magical and non-magical. I think about what real even is in the vastness of the universe. I also come from a somewhat Chaote type of mindset where reality is really what you make of it.
Take time to meditate and think on the doubt you have. Really analyze these thoughts and find out where they're coming from and you might learn more than you would have though.
You should be more confident! I know it sounds like a cat poster, but it's true. I myself struggle with confidence in myself as well, and that worries a lot of my friends. But just know; anythime you feel like you can't do anything, remember that any one of your hairs can shut down an entire restaurant. I think of that, (and a few dank memes while I'm at it) and I instantly feel better about myself. I know this is about as serious as a clownfish, but just take this into mind.
The very short answer would be: keep an open mind and keep trying.
When i first started on my path i had many doubts aswell and it sure affected my results.
Untill i realised i was looking at it all wrong: i just went from the angle as many others did.
Magick is a road thats personal, so some will work for you while others are not.
Use the symbols and spells that "feel" right to you and start easy. Stay true to yourself and the mirror will reflect what you need, not what you seek.
You are indeed right that having doubts is a pretty natural affliction for people walking any sort of path that involves a measure of faith or trust. It's only natural to wonder if what you are doing is actually meaningful. And, unfortunately, the trick to getting confidence is having some to begin with. It is one of those paradoxical things where developing confidence requires a measure of confidence in your ability to get it. I've baked my noodle so badly trying to find a starting point with things like this that if I shook my head too hard ashes would spill out of my ears.
The trouble is that it is a constant process of finding a small thing that you can be confident in, and then using that small thing to find just a little more confidence in something just a little bigger, and continuing a slow constant up-scaling of connections. When it comes to the idea of magic, and having confidence in the connection between action and outcome, the trick lies in the symbols, and finding a logical, tangible relationship that allows you do connect them in concept philosophy and ideology as well.
I find it helps a great deal to begin any undertaking from one simple singular detail that you know to be certain and factual. And then to use that as a base for the logical process and connections of the other symbols or processes you want to use to connect your intent and magic into a firm idea of manifesting successfully.
This is part and parcel of the symbols that you choose to use in your workings. The more confident you can feel about their meanings and how solidly they relate to your goals the more influence they will have in your confidence as well. So it may help if you spend some time going over the tools you like to use in your workings, and do a little reflecting on how confident you feel in them and what they represent. If you find that even though you know intellectually that a particular symbol is supposed to mean something, but you don't feel that meaning yourself, then it might help to try and find a different one that gives a better sense of confidence.
For example, when it comes to the idea of setting your will into motion many people like to use the wand because it is associated with the intellect, and the element of air so it gives a sense of taking your thoughts and sending them outward. For others, they feel a stronger connection with the sword/dagger. It is an element of fire instead, and so is more emotionally centered than intellectually. (And for some represents a more aggressive approach as opposed to the wand's 'gentler' demeanor.) For still others they might have more confidence in using a staff because they associate it with gathered knowledge and acting out of wisdom/life experience over force of will or reasoned knowledge. So the same person who feels confident and connected to the idea that a staff will provide that expression of will, might not feel that same confidence in using a wand because it approaches the use of will in a different way. Just as a person who feels confident in the use of a wand might not like to use a blade because it feels too aggressive and they don't express themselves with a similar decisiveness.
I am willing to bet that if you adjusted your approach and tools to better fit how you like to work, you will find a solid boost in confidence with your workings. ^_^
