Yes, however, what do you wish to achieve? Death oil, for instance, can be used to end something. Example, you suffered a terrible breakup and want the attachment to that person to "die." You can use a death spell to "kill" any lingering attachment. On the more suicidal spectrum, a death spell to end ones existence, I feel would either cause you to have more suicidal thoughts and bleak outlook, or result in a sudden death such as a car crash. If you are wishing to physically die, I hope you seek help as this is not the answer. You are loved and you will be missed. The loss of you in the life of your loved ones is a wound that will never fully heal.
I've have been seeing help for many years only to be told the same thing, I suffer from severe PTSD from abuse and bullying and Depression with a myriad of illnesses.
my family treats me poorly emotionally. I've been evicted twice and I rather just not go on anymore. My body and soul is just tired of this life to pursue happiness.
There's only so much you can do before you just say "my life isn't really worth it."
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, and I get how you can get to the point where you throw up your hands and are tired of struggling [I have anxiety and depression and dealt with abuse and bullying in the past] i'm sure there's at least one person who loves you and wants you around. [and I say that as someone who was disowned by a number of family members as well as lost many friends over the years] it's hard, it's painful, and yes, sometimes i've considered throwing in the towel, but for whatever reason, you find a reason to keep going. You're loved more than you know, and people will be hurt if you died.
When I was at my lowest point, I began journalling, eating healthier, reading TinyBuddha articles, watching videos by people who were more positive and less cynical than the people I followed prior to my breakdown. As corny as it felt, I began using affirmations, making gratitude lists and making notes of things that made me happy. Years later I found myself feeling alone a lot, and I decided to go to therapy and it's helped me further on my path. I still struggle occasionally and fall down [sometimes I question why I'm still alive] but I pick myself up because I find one reason to keep going [sometimes they're silly ones like "who will water my plants" or "I need to see that new movie" but I find something to look forward to]
If I were you, I would try spells to help you heal. Self-love, courage, healing, perhaps shadow work [but I would be careful if you were to dwell or if you're not in a good mental state] I would also try the death oil Tadashi suggested to try and end the negative cycles, or perhaps write a letter and bringing it to release the buried emotions and bring closure.
I hope you find calm in the storm and you find a way to heal. Best of luck to you.
Comet, climbing out of such a hole has been the primary focus of my practice. I've done some things I'm not proud of, thanks to depression, anxiety, and remnants of a terrible childhood. There is hope. This week, I closed on a house. I now have goals until I'm in my 70s (my previous goals ended at 40, as some years back I set some ultimatums for myself to accomplish by 40; I have now exceeded them all, ahead of the goal), and I would definitely not be here if there were not hope to escape such situations and to improve.
My path will not be your path, as we've all got our own to walk. But I can definitely say there are choices to make, processes to go through, and things can get better. I believe in you.
Comet. Don't give up. Sure I don't know all that you are going through but I known those who did and over came it. Keep fighting. It will get better. The worst I experienced was witnessing my mom's death, depression, and me, my dad, and little sister were tormented by the cops and government. But instead of giving up we stood our ground. You should do the same.
I'm glad you have found happiness (or the balance in your life) that you deserved. But I'm afraid I'm not in control of what happens to me this moment further. If I could do healthy choices and get out more to do others things I definitely would. But I can't, and it's kind of always been like that.
Not just to say that, but I'm currently without a home, and I cannot get a job based on my mental condition, so I can't help my mother get a home. And it'll be a long while before then.
I'm not sure how exactly depression effects your spell casting or basic magick, but I was always under the impressions that it stops you from making any real result due to the disbelief in yourself and lack of focus (Which I have)
I appreciate your concern but I'm not sure how else to get help as I've gotten medical help for years. I'm unsure what to do if not the former path I picked.
I'm glad you have goals that keep yourself in the path that you're on.
Maybe it's because of the experiences you have that lets you overcome the obstacles that you've been over in the past? I just know I'm much younger with even less knowledge.
I appreciate you having faith in me though, but I'm not sure if I even have faith in myself.
comet,,,, you are never alone,,, try, if you can, to remember just 1 joyful moment in your life(something that gives your heart and soul a smile) a movie, a song,what-ever has helped you this far in-to "your" life.... I have killed myself but was brought back- it has been a long,messy journey, but I can honestly say that I have "my" life now and I fill it will laughter and tears everyday...peace and comefort I send to you....
