My relation with my besti

I love my best friend. Not romantically, but i love her the most in the world. The most I've ever loved someone. On 12th of October 2021, they left me because i had overstepped their boundaries. On 1 Jan 2022, i did a spell to get her back as my friend.

The spell was expecting to work by 13 March 2022. It did work, but not in the most favorable circumstances. I had attempted to kms last night, and while convincing me to save myself, she told me she wants to reconnect with me. She told me she wants to be friends again. With her in my life, life would definitely be better and manageable, and i made myself puke out the 20 tablets i had taken to kms with an overdose.
The problem is that she was pulled into this situation not because she wanted to talk, but because she wanted to save my life. She still loves me, but i want her to talk to me because she wants to, not because she thinks it is necessary to talk to me mto keep her word.
I am thinking of doing another spell to help with that. To make her talk to me because she wants to. Do you have some suggestions?

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This is going to be very difficult to hear, my dear, so please make sure you read forward only if you are willing to actually hear it and be calm about it.

What you have done is extremely toxic. You have emotionally manipulated your friend into such a circumstance that you left them with no choice. You need to stop and think. If someone wants to be your friend, they should be your friend because they want that. Not because you threaten to kill yourself if they are not. Not because you push your way in and give them no choice. You are not a true friend and your attitude proves selfishness. You need to learn and accept other people's free will. You need to respect people's choices even if you think they are the wrong choices. The only thing you have done long term way is just push them further away. You have emotionally burden them.

What is done is done. Now please, you need to first help yourself. You don't need a spell and I recommend you to stay away from them until you get a clear head and peace of mind. You need to go and seek therapy. If you don't have money, there are ways of doing that without spending money. Speak to your GP (family doctor) or speak to someone at your school if you are still young enough to be in school. Look up free associations that would be willing to listen. Talk to a therapist about these things as this will help you understand yourself, your actions, how they reflect upon yourself and upon the people around you. Please do that. Once you'll start working on yourself, you'll understand more things about what you do right and what you do wrong. How to keep people close if they are worth keeping them close and how to elegantly push them away if you should not keep them close.

I really hope you do follow my advice, because I promise you, it comes with the best intentions!

Be blessed!
M.White

Spells are not what you need right now. You say you want her to talk to you because she wants to, but in the next breath your talking about using spells again to make her want to talk to you. That is still forcing your friend to do something that they might not want to do. And you've tried to manipulate her through taking an overdose. This is not going to lead to a healthy relationship and will end badly down the road.

As has been said, you need to be seeing a therapist to help you get yourself into a healthier state of mind. And you need to talk to the therapist about this unhealthy attachment you now have to your friend. Right now there is nothing of love in what is between the two of you, but there is a great deal of infatuation and clinginess. That does not bode well for a long-term relationship. In fact, I suspect this is what tripped you up before when you violated their boundaries.

The core of any successful relationship is communication, talking openly and honestly about feelings, boundaries, etc. This is not the place for magic to come into play. Magic actually damages trust and prevents truly open conversations. Tell your friend you are sorry for the things you did that hurt her. Tell her you care about her and hope that the two of you can continue together. And simply ask her to talk to her. But also give her the chance to say no or to set conditions. Do not try to force something that isn't there for both of you.

Now, if you want to throw in a bit of magic, then I would suggest a Sweetening Jar to make it more possible for the relationship to be better than it is now. It's not something to compel, but rather to help open up communication. But please don't do any more spells trying to force her to talk to you. Give her the respect to make her own decisions about whether she still wants to be in the relationship. And if she doesn't, then let her go and work on creating future relationships from a healthier mental state.

Thank you so much on your sugesstions. A few things i wanted to clarify -

1. I did not try to kill myself because of losing her. It was a different reason that i do not want to share and didn't mention because it was irrelevant to the thing being discussed. She just got to know about it because i sent a last message to her and a few of my closest friends.

2. I do not wish to force her, and the original spell I did was not meant to force her either. I wanted her to want me back. But because of improperly stating my intention, the spell worked in an unexpected way.

3. I have asked all her close friends to inform me if she ever talks about talking to me harming her in any way. She also told me the very day she came back that we would be friends who talk once in a while and I'm okay with that. I am not initiating conversation and will let her initiate it if/when she wants. I think that is better and respectful of her boundaries.

4. To be honest, I will not force her to stay now. I just want to give this a try because there is a possibility that she might like talking a little over not talking at all. Because, as she told me when she left, and when she came back, she loves me a lot. And i believe her on this.


I thank you for the sugesstions and i will try implementing them (it's very difficult to do that, honestly). If there is anything you would like to add or something that has changed after the clarification, you are most welcome to say it.

Thank you

My first and strongest suggestion is to take actions to uplift yourself rather than to draw in your friend. That person is already there, already concerned for your wellbeing, and present enough to still want to try and help you. It is obvious those pieces are already in place. As you grow and work to better yourself, your friend will see that you are working on yourself, and he/she will *want* to be there to help-rather than feeling like she has to.

The hard part is taking back/reclaiming your power. IE; taking ownership of yourself and your life situation. Especially if you are so used to giving it away that you have begun to define yourself by what others do to support you rather than what you do for yourself. It is a hard road, emotionally trying, and means recognizing some things that are initially very uncomfortable to look at. In all honesty, as a process it can be one of the most challenging things anyone can do. It is a life-long journey as well, not a light switch. But every journey happens one step at a time, the trick is to just not stop putting one foot in front of the other. Even if it is only by a millimeter, it still moves you forward.

My own practice is heavily biased towards spirituality over magic, so usually I would suggest doing some shadow-work and Self exploration to dig at the root of things, but it generally isn't a good idea to dive in and go face to face with your inner Self without first being in a stable place emotionally. It might be better to start a process of re-connecting to yourself from a position of love first. Meditation focused on releasing pent-up emotions, Self-cleansing, and getting yourself into a state of calm within the present moment. Then, once your feet are under you and feeling a little more balanced, it would be time to build up your self-awareness and nibble at the shadow.

I do not know if you already have a practice in meditation, but if so maybe start with an idea of balancing your focus and energies then follow with attention to the heart and go from there.

As far as specifically magical practices, my go-to would be some form of shamanic journeying/transformation, symbolic rebirth, and calling down/connecting with the higher-self and spirit.

....As long as this is already I'd be writing a novel if I was going to go into depth on all of these options. But mu mailbox is always open if you want me to go into more detail on anything. Or I am sure that others floating about the site can give some specific Self-empowerment suggestions in this thread too.

I thank everyone for their contributions to this thread and for your help.

I'll implement all your suggestions.