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I am including a portion of my life experiences and events that I believe to be of significance surrounding each of my successful astral projections. I believe that the practice itself is not the only important thing, but also the things going on with the self and throughout one's life. Because of this, enough detail has been provided so that you can make your own judgments as to what circumstances within me and around me influenced my spirit when astrally projecting.

A lot of people want to astrally project so I hope that this provides some insight. My account of events here starts many years ago around when I first started focusing on the spirit realm through meditation. I was around 14-15 at the time.

I meditated every day for months, for hours with no success. I tried using methods from the e-book "Astral Dynamics", as well as popular suggestions online in articles and forums, etc. I also used several relaxation exercises in order to help me to induce trance. I succeeded in putting my body to sleep in time, while keeping my mind awake, which created the sensation of all of my body's physical sensations disappearing, almost like numbness but not the same. After much practice I developed a mental trigger that allowed me to enter this state of losing my physical perceptions within moments of going into a meditative focus. This was the most of what I could achieve through these exercises at the time, it seemed. Eventually I did decide to focus on other things as it seemed evident that I lacked something crucial for projection.

I did other regular meditations after making that realization- mainly based on self-improvement and self empowerment. Chakra spinning, energy condensing, energy building, trance induction, and I experimented with personal concepts as I began to tweak theories and methods to suit my own understanding. I made some progress in learning to manipulate energy and was satisfied with that for awhile as I wasn't sure what energy manipulation was supposed to be like. In time I was able to condense the energy to a point where it created a sensation like was like high-intensity pleasure wherever the energy was being concentrated. I'm uncertain if there was any practical use for this but the physical response was reassuring to me about my practices.

I was doing an energy meditation based on my usual chakra empowerment through spinning, condensing the energy, and building it up one day and I fell asleep, so it seemed, during the meditation. When I woke up, I could see through my eyelids very clearly, though they were closed. This was the first time I had ever projected, and I remember that everything seemed to be less colorful than it is when I use my physical eyes. I could feel my spirit body (I suppose you might call it) as though it were my physical body- and I say that because the sense-correlation is very similar. I tried to move my spirit out, and did inch out a little ways- but as I did this I felt something slam into me very hard(it seemed like) and this abruptly ended the experience. I was in normal physical consciousness and I was very frustrated and ****ed off. I tried doing some of the usual astral projection techniques to no avail, I simply could not leave my body again.

So eventually I went back to doing my energy meditations, empowering myself, etc. My family and I moved to a new city and I also met some new people online and fell in with them. One of these people claimed to be able to sense the energy very well, as well as being able to take in a past-life alter ego of sorts and 'become' that person, as well as 'inheriting' certain spiritual gifts while doing it. I was intrigued. I had never heard of such a thing but to my inexperienced mind it all made perfect sense. This person told me that I too had a certain past self locked away and that we shared a common bond- he and I- and several others, because each of our 'past selves' knew each other in that life and was associated with a specific element. Mine was air. Anyways, I was so perplexed by my limitations at this point, in comparison to what he claimed to be able to do, that I mentally labored, theorized, meditated, contemplated, and emotionally struggled even harder on my own path in self development, trying to sense energy and be able to connect with this past self that he claimed I had.

It took about 3 months of daily struggling and thinking. After this I had a 'eureka' of sorts. It just suddenly came together in my mind- no-one told me anything in particular, but in that moment it all made sense. I realized how to sense energy through the subtle emotional and mental, visual, and sensory perceptions. And I also realized how to manipulate it to a greater extent, based on this. I was still limited- but it was greater than anything I could do in the past. Through sensing the energy I suppose you might say I attempted to attune myself to my past lives as well, to get in touch with this past self of mine. I did pull certain attributes out of myself and personify them into this past self, as well as some memories- but I was not skilled or open enough to know anything for certain. I just had to trust myself for the most part with this, and still relied on some of what my friend said for guidance. During this time, I had another astral projection experience at some point. I did not meditate before it occurred, but I did meditate very regularly. I took a nap(or I thought I did) and woke up in the state of projection. This time everything had all of its color, unlike the first time. Also, there seemed to be a divide between what I formerly felt as my spirit body and my mental/soul awareness. I moved around the room using my awareness and my sight. I was fascinated, and I was examining everything. Noting any differences, memorizing the way things were. Thinking about the possibilities. I looked out my window from my bedroom while projecting, and I did not see what was usually there. I saw a pool and toys scattered about the back yard of the neighbor's home. This struck me as being strange because no-one actually lived in that home, it was still under construction, there was no pool, etc. Also, I saw some plants and a table in my bedroom that were not physically actually there. There also was what appeared to be a sort of divider between the room itself and the window, with a space open horizontally across that I could look through. It did not impede me, as my awareness was not material- but I did see it and it was odd. After this I went back to where my body was laying, on my bed. I thought to myself that I could put into motion plans to open up spiritual gifts and abilities from the outside of myself. However, as I was about to do this, I started to become more aware of my spirit body- the sensory-specific spiritual perceptions that I felt more the first time. It felt as though it was trapped inside of an egg. So.. I did what any sensible person would do (I jest)- I tried to break the egg surrounding it by launching my spirit against the walls of the 'egg' that surrounded it. I could not move my spirit through it, and it seemed impenetrable. As my spirit hit the 'walls' of the 'egg' I felt myself sort of bump against it and then reverberate between the walls and it felt very uncomfortable. I started becoming somewhat more aware of the physical aspect and I felt like my head was gonna be damaged if I did much more of that. So I stopped myself from continuing and pondered my next move. I felt for certain that my spirit needed to be removed from the 'egg' for me to go through with my plans. As I pondered this, I heard what sounded like my step-father's voice coming into the house. This made me afraid because I thought he might come upstairs and jolt me out of sleep, as he enjoyed doing- and I did not want this to be a danger to me while projecting. I had read that being jolted out of a state of projection can result in death, so I focused on my physical senses in that moment and hurried back into my body. It took just a moment or so. I awoke- I saw the time.. the whole experience had only taken about 4 minutes. I was very shocked, because it did not feel anything like 4 minutes, but my sense of time was distorted while projecting, I think. My step father was not in the house. It has been suggested to me that my subconscious mind may have caused me to hear his voice, or it may be that he was thinking about me and I was hearing an echo of that in the spirit realm. It may also have been residue from when he was there before. I was, once again, very frustrated by this. Even so, I felt as though I had gotten the most refreshing, nourishing, wonderful sleep that I could have ever gotten in my life. I felt very 'warm' and rejuvenated from the experience. My guess was that while I was projecting I was more open to receive the energies of the spirit plane. In any case, I again attempted to project after this, but I simply could not do it. I cannot tell you how much frustration this caused in the following months.

I put the experience behind me, and continued on with my regular efforts focusing on the spirit since I could not seem to duplicate the astral projection experience. I started to experiment with my energy sensory with online friends, sensing their energies, talking with them about it, and trying to teach them to sense each other's and mine based on my personal revelation concerning it. I, in time, became very confident in my ability to sense the energies of others and to manipulate the energies as well. However, though I seemed to do well, I knew that what I was doing paled in comparison to what I desired to do, so I still continued to work on myself. Around this point a friend asked me to participate in a group curse against someone who was basically religiously opposed to our beliefs and vice versa, at the time. I loved group rituals and group settings, so of course I accepted. I used enochian keys, two goetic demon sigils to summon and focus the energies of two 'demons', and a whole crap-load of focus. The group energy, and the 'spirits' I (may have) summoned, augmented my energies in a way that I had never experienced before. I had focused my hate in the past, but never did it have the effect on me that it had this time. I found it very easy to fall into a deep focus during this ritual, and the demons I had (possibly) summoned genuinely seemed to be feeding that focus, to the point where a sensation very much like electricity started to enter my body and project out from it. This started slowly, at first. My abdomen muscles started convulsing rapidly. And the vibrations seemed to be the result of a power building there. The more I focused, the more it spread- and eventually it started numbing my skin and stiffening my muscles. This excited me, I had never had an experience like this before- I thought surely this will have a powerful result. It only got stronger and stronger and stronger the more I focused on it. It was never-ending, the only limit being how much time and focus I was willing to put into it. I savored it. However, I was satisfied with it in time and stopped what I was doing. I told the people I was working with about what I had been experiencing. One who said she was a strong empath told me that she felt it when she connected to me and it went into her when she did that, and she disconnected because she did not want it to continue. She did not like the way it felt. However, in the aftermath- there was a new force present. Centered around my back, something very heavy entered into what felt like my heart, from the back. It was extremely uncomfortable and I could feel my emotions being blocked by it, as well as (what I felt intuitively to be) certain degrees of potential that I had to use the energy. I resisted it, I focused on moving it out. I succeeded only for as long as I could hold my focus. It was relentless. I knew that in time I would have no choice but to stop, but whatever this was- it would never need to. I eventually gave up.. and let it in, cringing in discomfort. My grandmother, who I lived with, called me for supper at this point. So I went and ate, but it was hard to walk because the energy that had stiffened my muscles was still there and everything was very stiff.

The stiffening energy left me in time but whatever had entered my back did not. In the next several months I focused all of my attention on removing it. My fear was that the curse backfired and the energy was negatively effecting me instead of the other person. I did in depth meditations, group rituals, clearings, etc. I was always able to get it open again after at least an hour of focus, but only for a few moments, and only for as long as I could hold my focus. It also temporarily cleared up when I cried and the emotions poured out of my heart, through where it was.

(As a side note- It might be interesting to note that the electric, muscle spasming, skin numbing energy was *incredibly* easy to summon with just the slightest thought for about a month. Even at school, I could be sitting at class, and if I wanted, I only had to use an *incredibly small* amount of focus and the energy from the night when I cast that curse would rise up within me in mere seconds, with a force. I wanted to do something with it, but I could not seem to control it productively. I could build it up easily, but direct control over it was another matter and one I seemed to fail at.)

Eventually I gave up, looking for other answers- knowing that my efforts were not working. It had been months again, now. I had learned to cope with it but I did not like it. My intuition and things of that nature still worked, it just seemed that whatever it was that entered me was preventing me from growing any further, spiritually. I do believe that it is possible that it was also a karmic reaction to my negative action, or possibly an act from the spirit realm to ensure that I did not get powerful enough to cause any real damage, since I did after all do a curse, and my focus did happen to be total and utter destruction of the other person at the time. I might add that I have no idea what became of that person, but I did attempt to reach out and apologize, as well as admit to what I tried to do, even though that person didn't even know who I was (since I was doing it for a friend). I don't know if anything I messaged/etc actually got through to anyone though.

In the coming months I began to realize that my other friend, the one regarding the past lives and the self, etc- was a flat out liar. There was no truth to anything he told me, it is very ironic that I benefited from it at all due to my own motivations. I realized this because my own intuition and past life recall was stronger than it was in the beginning, and I did not feel that the things he was saying were true based on what I could perceive. So I confronted him and made him admit to me the truth. That was the end of that. I helped to inform anyone else he had deceived as well.

After this I was not sure what direction to go in. After I got out of school, I got a job and worked for a while (wal-mart). After a few months of this, stress and tension between myself and my family was very high. Probably higher on my end(the stress aspect). I had been planning to move out for awhile with my current partner. But all the stress made me want it to happen as fast as possible. So we talked and he agreed to pick me up that weekend- I was 18 and it was perfectly legal for me to leave if I wanted. He picked me up on Saturday and we moved my stuff out(it wasn't that much) on Sunday while my grandparents were at church. I did not tell them that I was leaving until I was already gone and well into the next city. I was on edge and I was trying to avoid any difficulties regarding it.

Anyways, this started a whole new chapter in my life. There were a TON of mental, physical, emotional, etc struggles that both my partner and I went through in the following years. I was forced to mature in many areas in order to adapt to the new situations I found myself in. My partner has the capability to talk with, see, hear, channel, etc- spirits. Believe me, I was very skeptical. Especially after being deceived by someone else. But my partner has actual evidence(you could say that I feel he has proven himself to me, personally) and it isn't ridiculous like the other person. He has earned my trust and I do not feel bad about it like I did with my other friend. After 3 long, hard years my spirit guide introduced himself to me through my partner. My guide, after that, became incredibly important in my development spiritually and as a person. He also helped me to reshape my entire belief system regarding the spirit realm, magic, myself, etc. Almost everything I knew was flawed somehow. I gave it all up, it felt very much like a sacrifice because of the feeling of deep loss, and I built my foundations back up based on what my guide told me. My guide helped me to know what to do to achieve my desires, he also helped me to become a better person, and to become more stable emotionally, or find healing as far as I am able to. It has been a long process and is still ongoing.. but through it all, at some point the heavy thing that I had felt enter me after the curse lifted itself from my heart. I'm not sure when it happened honestly, but it is no longer there. And I would never even think of cursing someone anymore- I believe that those thoughts sprang from immaturity and no real understanding of what the consequences might be for other people had I actually succeeded. I was emotionally unstable before(as well as quite young).. but now I was able to find a sense of peace and balance that I had never really had. I would have never found it without my guide, and my partner.

Anyways, my guide started helping to advise me as far as what I should do to ultimately obtain what I want spiritually. In essence, I want power. But it is really much simpler than that- as there are specific things that I desire, I just need power to achieve them. He helped me choose another spirit to work with, and I started trying to get familiar with this spirit. His energy was pleasant, and when I connected with him, instead of having the muscular spasms etc from the energy (such as the reaction I had from attempting to work with what may or may not have been spirits destructively during the curse), it produced a different effect. Sometimes it was as simple as feeling a heavy layer of energy around me, in the air, something you'd never feel normally just from the air itself. But one time when I meditated on his energy, and he was actively focusing on me as well, I simply astrally projected. It was strange. I never fell asleep. I did not even know that I was projecting at first until I realized that I could see through my eyelids again. It was very different this time. I could see symbols, I could hear strange noises, I saw the swirling energy better than I had ever previously seen it, and I felt that I had a sense of my surroundings, spiritually. I also had much greater control over my spirit body and there was no 'egg' around it this time. I started to move my spirit body out of my flesh- the flesh itself literally felt as though it was becoming corpse-like, inanimate, lifeless, as I pulled myself out from it. I was amazed that my own body could ever feel that way to me while I still had some perception of it- I was, after all, still connected, I was just removing a large portion of myself. My spirit body felt very much like my physical body as far as movement went, however I could not see it for some reason. My sight still seemed to be limited, even in that state, as I only heard and saw some of what was around me in the spirit plane, and spirit entities were not one of those things- not even my own. I disregarded this, and continued pulling myself free. I felt urgency, and a feeling like imminent doom was approaching. It did make me feel uneasy, and I tried focusing on the energy of the spirit for protection in that state. I heard dogs barking and saw a raven symbol on the wall above the window. Nevertheless, I continued pulling myself from my body- when I got my top-half out, and started pulling at myself from my waist, it felt much heavier. I could not move it out as easily. I tried pulling on it- and then it triggered a force that pulled my entire spirit back into my body. This ended the projection experience. I was later told that the symbols, barking, and sense of doom were all warnings from my own spirit that death would be imminent if I got out all of the way at that time. My guide told me that there are spirits who don't want me working with this other spirit for power and would have severed me from my body when I came out of it to stop it from happening. My spirit instinctively reacted however and pulled me back in. It has been a couple of years since then, now. I am currently following a plan to open myself up further to the spirit realm in order to then be able to directly connect with the energy in a way that I presently cannot. This will enable me further in my spiritual ability.

There have been other, lesser astral experiences that I have had. But these are the main ones which I have experienced. They did not ever occur when I tried to make them occur. Rather, it seemed they occurred when I was in synch with the energy on a level that caused it to happen. My blocks may not be your blocks though, and it may be different for you.

Everything that I have told you here is related, because of the nature of the spirit realm, to my astral projection experiences. You might have noticed that each time I seemed to unlock new faculties, removed barriers, saw more, felt more strongly, lasted longer, etc. I believe that it is related to my own personal spiritual development. This should give you something to think on regarding yours. :)