Magic Forums

About two years ago, I had went to my local metaphysical shop and I was speaking with the owner about a protection spell I wanted to do for my niece bc of the all the hardships surrounding her (she was only 8 years old at the time and dealing with things an 8 year old shouldn't have to deal with). The owner had told me it's great that I want to do this for my niece but bc my soul has so much darkness surrounding it, that it could be very difficult for me to perform "something good". But I still tried and it was very difficult. I had to keep stopping bc even though I was doing this for someone whom I love and care so deeply for and it was for all the right reasons...it didn't feel right, as though there were a part of me missing from it all and I would get frustrated over that feeling. In the end, (2 years later) things seem like they're better, but I can still see the unhappiness in her eyes. I want to help her, I know that in her eyes I'm the light in her world..It's always been that way, that's what our relationship has been like since the day she was born. I'd like to introduce her to Wicca, but I don't want her to end up like me.
I guess what I'm asking is if there's a way to come back from all the darkness for the purpose of one good thing Or a way to use both black and white separately, to not have different energies get "mixed up"? I still feel like I haven't explained things just right, but hopefully someone will understand.