Massive life costs! help!

Hello,
I dabbled in witchcraft a few years ago. I stopped because it seemed that every spell I did took a massive payment in the form of something important in my life. I thought my spells were backfiring and stopped. This past summer I started again because my boyfriend of a few years was arrested. The same thing as before is happening. We jointly cast a hoodoo court case spell calling on Thor and Odin. It was a brilliant success and we ended up with a miracle outcome. A few days later I lost my home and was attacked by a dog and couldn't walk for a week. I suspected it was the spell. I tried a spell to help my best friend. It failed. Right after it I lost one of my jobs. I did a spell to "draw down the moon". I feel it was successful, but then my best friend turned on me and kicked me out of the house, throwing my stuff on the lawn screaming that I think I'm a doctor?? (A whole other level of crazy!) So afterward my boyfriend (the love of my life) and I had to stay at a friends and I did a nice new home spell. The spell was marked to Hecate, Juno, and Hestia. During the spell I was in meditation and I could feel something bargaining with my subconscious asking if I would be happy in the new home without my boyfriend? I was in a super calm state and thought I could be happy anytime. Right after the last candle burnt out my boyfriend left me. An hour before he left he was trying to find someone to help us move into the new place we were getting. Didn't even break up with me. Got his stuff when I wasn't home, quit his job and moved 2 hours away. Blocked me, got his fam to block me, and won't talk to me. I had to move into the new place by myself. I've been absolutely miserable ever since and terrified to do another spell to fix my situation. I always smudged everything with sage, used lavendar to help calm the angrier ingredients and cast mental circles, although I stopped calling the corners because it just doesnt resonate with me. Ppl say there is no cost, but it's not true. Is there a way to avoid this? Does every spell take something hugely precious for mediocre results? How can I undo what's been done???

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I'm still a bit of a noob so I don't know too much about this. I have performed some spells and they have worked, but I don't recall losing anything because of that. I sure hope that someone will give you a good answer and that you will be able to do spells again without being afraid.

wow that's a lot to take in. to start i'm sorry for your losses, but you appear to be staring at half empty glasses and closed doors.

for starters why did you choose these deities? a common rookie mistake is to go 'i need a love spell, imma call on Aphrodite' no research, no friendly meet and greet, just cast a spell and ask for a favour. [which is like seeing a stranger eating pizza and demanding a slice. some might go 'uh.. sure' others might say no and ignore you, and some might go crazy and punch you] so my first question is did you work with these deities previously, or was spell casting your first time [bonus question, was the only reason you worked with them so you could get your spell to work]

second point, while there's nothing wrong with mixing pantheons, some research is wise. the history of their culture for example, as well as personal experience with said deities [some cultures don't mesh just like certain deities have clashing personalities, or mythologically they're bitter enemies] you need to think before you cast. [which brings me to my next point]

when you cast did you really think things through? no spell is guaranteed, all spells [with the possible exception of cleansing and protections] have the potential to backfire, and there is some cost somewhere [anyone who says otherwise is wrong] this cost could simply be energy, but if you think before you cast you can come up with a pretty simple list of 'what if' moves. you cast a money spell, the cost is your free time. you cast a love spell, the cost could be free time, but perhaps a jealous ex or even the person of your dreams isn't as amazing in real life. think through all the good and bad before you do something.

while i doubt the spell or gods punished you for your spell, i do feel at that point you were sending out energy [subconsciously] that welcomed something bad into your life. you're already convinced spells bring one good thing followed by downfall, so a 'miracle' clearly had to come with great fragility. i wouldn't cast any more spells, but i would study and build my spiritual self up before casting another since you seem very convinced bad things will happen.

regarding your ex, lost friend, and all that other stuff, you were able to connect with Hestia, she gave you what you wanted; a home. that said, it may of 'cost' you your boyfriend, but you could also look at this as a new beginning, a fresh start. a way to rebuild your life the way you want it. Hestia seems to want to help you, make an altar for her, give offerings, pray, regular meditation and circles with her. she can help guide you and support you on your path to a brighter future. it does seem hard now, but you've survived so much when you look back on it. [and no offense but do you really want to be with someone who just disappears after you stood by them through so much?]

regarding magick and spells and witchcraft i suggest you read a few books on the subject before trying again. you seem like a very strong caster, but you lack restraint or maybe just understanding. [drawing down the moon for example is not a spell, it's a wiccan ritual to call on the goddess] i would focus on you for now, figure out your path, what you want out of life, building your new future, and basically becoming the awesome you that you were meant to be. life seems low now, but count your blessings, and work towards your future.

Thank you Nekoshema that was very helpful...
yes, you are right, i chose those dieties because they were supposed to be the best ones to get the job done... i guess i should have done some research and meet and greet meditations first... (i am totally a noob haha)
Also, u have a good point about my boyfriend too.. all my friends and family are saying "you dont want to be with someone who would do that to you" ect ect, and that the issue that's wrong is with him and not me... but its complicated and i feel like i cant be with anyone else... No one understands who I am and my history like he does and I don't want to start over with anyone else, it's too painful. Also its so coincidental that I feel it must have been connected to the spell in some way and I want to undo it.
You are also saying the same as everyone else as well - to work on improving me and everything else will fall into place.
Maybe it was Hestia that I was communing with in the meditation, but why would she require me to give up my boyfriend?? I just don't understand and I'm super grieving... Before I even started re-casting this summer, I felt I was cursed. Is there anything I can do to protect myself more? could there be a malicious influence that has attached itself to me?
I am going to use my tarot (which I am very experienced with) to try to get some answers, but are there any techniques that I can do to protect myself more?
From now on I am going to do massive research and meditations to my chosen deity before any spell work- thank you so much :)

Try to do some protection spells? Though I don't know will they help.

This thread has been moved to Other Spells Discussion from General Info.