Ending the pain

trust me maledicta you do not want to lose your emotions

I don't want to lose my emotions. I want to learn how to stop myself from thinking certain painful thoughts. Since I'm pregnant I need to be able to prevent myself from getting stressed, and some of the thoughts I want to block out get me near hysterical and/or suicidal. I don't need to be feeling like that with a child inside me.

Were you this extreme with the feelings prior to being pregnant?

There's a technique in the ritual section of our spell book for releasing negative energy that I would suggest first.

You need to be careful when doing magick while pregnant, because it's not just your energy anymore. Using both energies can be benificial, but closing yourself off to certian things may not be the best idea when you are pregnant. Mainly because while it may be easy to close it now, once the extra energy is out ( your baby ) opening it back up again isn't going to be very easy at all.

I understand you want a magickal remedy, but if you are feeling overly hysterical or suicidal you need to talk to your doctor right away. Your hormones are out of whack which can amplify what would normally not be as big of a deal or even less than what you are not. Any sort of suicidal thoughts should be discussed with a doctor first and foremost before seeking magickal aids.

hmm suicidal that must be horrible but not as horrible as feeling nothing

I guess I should see my doctor about it. Problem is, getting in to see any kind of psychotherapist around here can take months. I'm prone to depression anyway and the pregnancy hormones are indeed escalating it, and it hasn't helped that I had to come off medication when I got pregnant.

I guess I could give a little more information about all this; basically the father and I had split up a couple days before I found out about the baby. We're now talking through getting back together but he's wary of coming back in case things go wron again. Of course this is getting me very on edge and I'm going between feeling optimistic about him coming back, to despairing if he ever will. Its frustrating because he won't give me any dates as to when he'll come back, and I'm terrifed that he won't be back in time for us to work at being a couple again before the baby comes.

God bless socialized medicine.

I'd suggest making any appointments you need to now anyways, because if you are already prone to depression you should have a back up plan asap for when baby comes so that you have little red tape to go through if post pardum hits.

That being said, I'm a single mom. I spent my pregnancy and 3 years after chasing and hunting my son's father down through the military system here.

I can understand wanting him to be there and the worries of if he will come back or not. But try very hard to think about it this way:

With him or not, you are still mommy and baby will always come first. It MAY be easier with him there, but plenty of us have done and continue to do it without the guys around. Try not to let it bother you if he comes back or not. It hurts, yes...but number 1 prority is baby. Not daddy. Daddy can suck eggs if he can't understand what it's doing to you and baby.

Hehe that's a great way of looking at it :-D And you're right, it's the baby which matters, not him. Unfortunately, as much as I tell myself that, it doesn't stop me from loving him and wanting to share this experience with him. And it's not like he doesn't want to, he's just worried about it going wrong again. Which I can totaly understand - I was hellish to live with! I think I will take your advice though and see about counseling now rather than later. I'm seeing my midwife next week so I'll see if she can rush me forward for a referral :-)

Of course we women KNOW what we should think and feel....it just doesn't work that way until we're ready lol


Go on with the counciling. And try the Negative Energy Release technique. It can work in a pinch to calm you down.

Maledicta
Alchemy was known as the spagyric art after Greek words meaning to separate and to join together.The energy was first used thousands of years ago ,to try to turn various metals into gold.
More recently it is know for trying to seperate thoughts and emotions..

Carl Jung reexamined alchemical symbolism and theory and began to show the inner meaning of alchemy,what it was when aplied to the brain.

Jung saw alchemy as a Western proto-psychology dedicated to the achievement of individualization. In this sense, Jung viewed alchemy as comparable to a Yoga of the East. The practice of Alchemy seemed to change the mind and spirit of the Alchemist. His interpretation of Chinese texts in terms of his analytical psychology also served the function of comparing Eastern and Western alchemical imagery and core concepts and hence its possible inner sources9Wikipedia-Jung)

Basically modern Alchemists believe among other various things,that you can compartmentalize the mind,seperate feelings thoughts and emotions ,and deal with them individually.
This however takes years of practice at the very least and has never to my knowledge or satisfaction as an Empath been proven to work.

I wouls suggest Following Healers advice,not only because she is my GF,lol,but she is one of the most level headed women Ive ever met,she is a single mom,(and a FINE one)and has went through many of the same felings you are going through now.try the techniques she talked about,we also have a method in the empathy thread that may help you Isolate the feelings your looking to deal with .
Were here for you any time

Thanks Nodrk :-) That does seem to tie in with what my friend told me about alchemy. She said it may work for me because she uses it herself to great effect, but I guess it's different for everyone. She's a lot more in tune with that side of her than I am too, which is bound to make a difference!