Or maybe its an overwhelming experience. He's never had kids before. He was exstatic. I am looking for something to bring that back. Or even something to ease his mind
You just need to be there for him. If he chooses to leave because of this, that is his problem. He will have to deal with the consequences. I don't believe your solution is a magical one. I suggest counciling.
I would say counseling also. It is probably overwhelming him. Maybe the realization of it has him a bit scared. But you can't be upset too much by this for the sake of your twins. If you two are still talking, I would ask tell him that it has been a big deal for you, as well, and can we(you and him) please talk this out. Sometimes a good talk where you share your feeling with each other will have you both understanding that all will be ok. I hope this has helped. Blessed Be...
Re: Unborn Twins By: SueLearning Moderator / Adept
Post # 6 Mar 15, 2013
Any man that would ask you to make such a choice is not worth having in your life. I understand you love him and want him there with you and your babies, but do you really want someone like that helping to raise them? You would be better off letting him hit the road. Trust me there are men out there that would be thrilled to replace him.
Have you made it seem like the babies are more important or will be loved over your husband? Psychologists will agree that the love of a child and the love of a spouse should be different and the spouse should never be 2nd to the children. If you've hinted to this or he feels this way, then you upset him greatly. He may feel like his relationship with you is in jeopardy or will be lowered in value when the children come. Children should draw a couple closer together not push them apart.
You definitely need to talk with him.
Being nearly 8mo pregnant myself, I DO NOT recommend you practicing any rituals at all! The energy of a ritual can be intense and that isn't good for us or baby/(babies in your case). If you feel you must do something spiritual, prayer and a suitable offering to the right spirit/deity can help bring clarity to the situation and maybe offer a solution. Meditation is wonderful during pregnancy and it can help you to receive insight, inspiration, etc.
He is obviously jealous over your love for you un-born children. What he is doing is wrong! There is no way a woman should choose a man over her children! I'd kick his arse out the house as soon as he said it! Trust me! I wouldn't take that! if you abort the babies your regret it! He could leave you, or have an fair of anything! Theres plenty of men out there but you can't get your kids back, you can't replace them! I personally don't think you should be together. He's sick asking you to choose! He's actually domestically abusing you! Get rid of him not the babies!!
Before I would jump to doing anything I think that you and your husband need to have a long talk about why his feelings seem to have changed. It is not uncommon for a prospective parent to find themselves ambivalent about what having a baby is going to mean in their life and sometimes this can cause them to speak in an irresponsible manner.
Perhaps the responsibility of being a parent is scaring him. The economy isn't great, jobs are scarce and tenuous, money is tight all over. Maybe he is afraid that he won't be able to adequately provide for you and the twins. That kind of fear is a terrible blow to a man's ego.
Perhaps he is afraid that he won't be a good parent. What was his childhood like? Did he have good role-models for parenting? And even if he did he can still have unreasonable expectations of himself as a parent that are making him afraid of the responsibility involved.
Perhaps he is afraid that the twins will monopolize your time and your love and there won't be any left for him. His asking you to make a choice could be the frightened part of him asking for reassurance that you have more than enough love for the three of them. Children do change a relationship, there is no question about that. And some partners do have a hard time dealing with it.
I'd suggest trying to get him to sit down and talk to you about what is bothering him even if he is reluctant to do so. And if he is willing then I'd also strongly suggest marital counseling to try to uncover the real issues going on here. Explain to him that you cannot choose between him and the babies because you love all of them.
You can't really change the way someone feels with magic, only make them appear to feel the way you want. And in time that forcing will ruin what you are trying to accomplish. Before you look at any magical approaches I would suggest trying the mundane ones like talking things out and getting to the root of the problem.
It's sad you are in this situation. I agree, counseling is necessary in this situation. Along with counseling, and when you are alone at home, if you believe in any dieties, pray to them. Pray and hope your husband comes to his senses, leave an offering, and brace yourself for counseling. I believe that the best places to go would be a family or relationship counselor. If your husband rejects, clamly ask him what you need to, tell him what you need to. Tell him that this is an important decision, and you can't blindly give him an answer without reason.
