Precisely. Although I might say disregard is a little strong. Lol. And though I haven't read or heard a lot about it, from the understanding I have, Chaos Magick is probably the closest I've heard described to what I do practice, but I'm careful to not prematurely label what I do. ; ) especially since labels aren't necessity.
Is it weird if one says they aspire to be a modern wizard?(Lol. If so I won't say it, but that is my goal.)
Well, for now, most spells deal with being upon yourself; but that's mainly for beginners. I study in the white magicks, so I'm trying to change the world. ^^
I ahve always felt "something" surrounding me, I have never had any trouble, at least extreme trouble, sometimes I would wish for something as simple as No cars when crossing a 4 lane highway and there were no cars period!, things so little but surprising. I had always said and friends would confirm that "God is on my side", but I came upon variouse site concerning Wicca and I was drawn to it, though I mostly practice white, I have done black and whichever I do I feel more comfortable at night. Odd to practice white at night, no? I have not left behind my own religion, but have the must respect for the elements and the god and godess and not to forget the Lords of Night.
I was brought up as a Lutheran but i have always had encounters with mysticism all my life it seems. The first experience i remember dealing with power was when i was 3 years old. I made what seemed to be a rift in the middle of the night in my own bedroom. I was just staring at the far most wall from me up towards the ceiling. When i just saw a bunch of colors start swirling together and i just had the sensation of floating all of a sudden then i literally remember floating up out of my bed and flying into this hole. On the other side was just nothing but what appeared to be fragments of things throughout the universe. Mostly i just remember there was color everywhere all around me i didn't know where i was. But it seemed as soon as i was in there i was already out, it didn't even feel like it lasted a minute. I did this several more times until i was eight. I did it one last time when i was eight years old. After that I stopped trying to do it. Then I tried it again when i was twelve and i couldn't do It i try again every now and then but nothing ever happens. The closest time i came to doing it again was when i was thirteen. I was sitting in my room staring at the floor. I could see energy, I got it to start swirling together, but out of no where all of a sudden the energy turned black and something shot from the floor, it looked like something made of the blackest smoke i ever saw. I looked away and when i looked back there was nothing there. I've also seen things like at my parents house me and my best friends saw what looked like a female lion except it was glowing brightly. I've also had some weird dreams but nothing else really. I'm Seventeen years old now and i live with my sister.
Because i am blind, magick using colors is a lot more difficult for me, but i have found that simple things like crystals and shells do a lot for me.
I work mainly at night or during the early hours of the morning. I have looked in to a few goddesses as i prefer the energy of the goddess in my work and have found a few that i am interested in.
