The past year and a half has helped me to lose knowledge over who I am...
Religion has terrified me every waking day. Please, for any experienced adults who read this...I need an older person's outlook. Here is my story.
When I was very young, I was intrigued by witches and the idea of magick. For years it followed me and I started researching witchcraft after being more interested from a Disney movie. That is when the mysteries of Paganism slowly unraveled. Again I continued on/off with my practice and research. Of course discrimination and stares followed, but onward I went. It got to around two years ago, when I was fifteen. After a year break from my spell casting studies, I returned to SoM to meet others with the same interest. I met a dear friend from here and that is where things began to go downhill.
You see, I didn't focus on the religion aspect of magick.. Wicca is what I quickly jumped into, after being introduced to the religious concept of magick by my friend. I finally had someone as serious and passionate as me around to learn and study with. Several years before I had friends behind me that either pretended to be interested or ones that gave up. I quickly got attached to the fact that there was someone new, someone in my state, and my practice began to become serious. My heart is drowning like a broken ship.
Over the course of several months, because of this practice I've been involved in, I've contemplated dropping my Christian faith to become Pagan. I truly do feel love for Paganism. When I practice, I am over joyed. I feel connected to all things and the level of peace I obtain is amazing. I never received such strong feelings about a religion before. I am only seventeen, but my mind has been ripped by new thoughts.
Is this true devotion or have I just been under influence for the past two years? I became so lost in my practices that I neglected a friendship. I created an uneasy, tension filled relationship that has officially failed. I've been flying down into an endless pit with my love of witchcraft and Paganism experience. I feel I want, more than anything to consider myself a Pagan to my family and friends.
But....is this real, or just a clouded dream by being misguided?
Just know that Paganism doesnt have much for truth. All those gods could be either different forms of God, or divine beings mistaken as gods. I would say that paganism for you is like a good book. Once you start it, you never want it to end. So, I would say become Catholic (if you aren't already), not Pagan. It is quite interesting. It teaches that God can (is) many in one. But, if God calls you to him through multiple forms, so be it. Just know they (the gods) are all parts of the same God.
Sullenmoon, the truth is, if you feel a zeal for something and an inspiring passion that drives you in spirituality, you should follow that. You can't follow a religion that doesn't seem to fit with you and who you are. As for G-d and truth, think of it in this way, that truth is much like an abstract painting. There is no one way to determine an abstract painting and it's meaning, everyone has their own view and ideas as to what it symbolizes. Religion is basically the different views of this truth. So long as you are leaning and walking towards this, the path you take to it isn't wrong, it's just your personal way, that is why you should walk a path that inspires you to go onward, to move towards what makes you happy, and to help lead you towards that truth and that light.
@ Magickor5, noted. it's your believe and i get what you're saying, and people do believe that all gods are really one god, and you weren't offensive about it, so it's fine with me anyway.
@ Sullenmoon. you have been with paganism on and off for a while and perhapsa all you needed was someone behind you to help you gain confidence and go. at the same time, it sounds like the religion got the better of you, so to speak. it happens to a lot of us, not just pagan, but when you discover something you feel completes you, you want everyone to feel as good, and you feel best when doing that one thing. you've realized you're doing it, work at not letting your feelings get the better of you and things will be fine. it troubles me you have lost friends over this, but without more detail into why i can't strongly say yes or no, but i think you should convert. paganism is rather open, so if you discover the path really isn't for you, you can always convert again. in the end, it's your life, you should do what makes you feel happy. blessed be.
I've always loved witchcraft as a whole, but I just fear how people have also shaped me into the Pagan I'm becoming. I'm not sure why. The way I got to this inner conflict is what is saying I'm wrong, simply because I quickly followed someone serious.
I have the driving passion towards this, especially now that I've experienced true things of the religious concept. I did research on interpretations of the Bible. I agree with Pagan views. That my friend didn't inspire me to do. I inspired myself.
Neko, that's exactly what I'm thinking. I was always the leader with other friends in the past. My current friend was what gave me the full confidence I never had to push myself to explore new theories. Like I said, the others either thought of my interest weird or hey stayed with Chrisian ideas. I never got the true love and support I got from her.
It totally has gotten the best of me because now of my religion awareness, it has caught my heart and made me so excited to learn. My friendship affected has been healed. It's been going fine for a while. My romantic relationship...well, that was my ex's fault. I'm happy to be deemed as Pagan. You're right. I let it get the best of me and I just need to help tame that flame,
Magickor5- I could say the same thing about any other religion, especially Christianity.
Sullenmoon- Just go to the religion you honestly feel you believe in. Ignore how comfortable you feel in a particular faith and ignore how uncomfortable you feel, just think about what religion you truly believe in.
I feel like the God/Goddess aspect brings about equality everyone needs. I love the idea of EVERYTHING, being divine, not just Christ. Everything should be spiritual. It teaches much more and the divine aspect of nature makes me feel at home with religion. Being forgiven for my sins in front of people doesn't.
