I need help....

My boyfriend and I just ended our relationship of almost 9 years. I'm mostly to blame, due to a car accident we had 4 years ago. I've been depressed, gone through many surgeries, and taking out my frustration out on him. We've been through good and bad together and I have given him many chances before, and he won't even give me 1 chance to work on this. I know deep down that he's my soul mate and I want him to change his mind and start anew. Please someone help me get him back.

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You know that saying if you love something let it go if it comes back it was ment to be and if it doesn't it was never ment to be?