Depression/Trauma Help!

I lost my father last year and ever since I was 7 years old I have been dealing with constant trauma. Unfortunately mostly family related.It feels like the universe keeps throwing me under the bus and I have absolutely barely any luck. I was recently diagnosed by a doctor with Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Post Traumatic Stress, Chronic Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I don't think I'm crazy...I think I am broken and I need to realign my spirit, cleanse SERIOUSLY cleanse myself of all the bad juju. I've tried sea salt soaks, smudging, crystal healing... and I feel like nothing is working. What am I doing wrong? I need a spell to help but I need a really strong one or some other suggestions to help me finally get through this and use my past as light to grow. I know I cannot move forward while looking back. Please help!

-Maia

)0(

Have you tried the LBRP? If not, then learning and practicing it could help.

You ask what are you doing wrong? What you are doing wrong is not believing!
Chronic depression is a very serious illness, and leads to the others you are suffering from. A person with severe depression is firmly convinced that they will never get better. And all the medication prescribed will be useless. (Tranquillisers do work, but it's a false cure!)
It is very difficult, sometimes impossible, to cure. The best advice, really, is "strive to be happy". This is, after all, a wonderful world! And magic is all around you!
My blessings and thoughts I send to you. You sound like a very unhappy person.I hope that eventually you will feel better.

Feeling down and being depressed after you have lost a parent is normal.It would have been crazy if you did not feel this way and are happy as a lark.Take your time to grieve. There are people who do counseling for such cases.Family plays a big role in your happiness and feeling at ease.If this factor is not there and you lost this support and the person that you could always talk to about you problems,it is a big shock for the system.
What you need is person to confide in ,and to set goals for yourself that you need to reach.Do not get those diagnosis too serious ,or you will always be the sick person with 10 diagnosis that has nothing else to look forward to.When I lost someone that brought me up from baby in my teens I gave my word to her that I will make something from myself and make her proud.You have to understand that your father would probably wants the best for you and would have wanted you to be happy.Sometimes we do things we thought were not possible not for our own sake ,but to make our loved ones happy.Death does not separate people forever.Think of it as if he went to long holiday and you will meet him again some day.It helps to fight the sense of loss.You heal emotionally with your own pace ,you can not speed the process with spell.You have to understand that a spell is expression of your will and emotional state blended together ,so if you are deeply upset your spell will have the same energy charge.It is a gradual process.Find each day one reason to smile at least one and at least one thing to appreciate ,does not matter how small and not significant it might seem.Find a something to fill this emptiness in you.It can be a pet to love and take care off,or it can be creating a beautiful garden and dedicating it to your dad ,while watching it grow and flourish.We can create life and take care of one ,even when we were touched by death.I know it might seem impossible to you to live without him and be happy ,but you will get there step by step ,smile by smile.Keep your mind busy with constructive things ,rather than just thinking for your loss.Bake a cake ,run a mile ,draw a picture.Writing poetry and drawing are good ways to release some bottled emotions.Emotion does not occupy our mind more than 10 seconds if you do not really cling on it and start reinforcing it any other minute.This does not mean you have to fight it ,just observe it as it arises and let it go.You have the right to heal and be happy ,despite all the things you went through.We all are much stronger that we ever thought!

Artindark, good advice,if this lady only suffered from Depression.But it is much more than that.She has named very serious disorders.Yes, counselling is good; but it is no cure. This lady needs a lot more than counselling.

I loved my father very much...but all of the men in my family has a lot to do with why I have my problems starting with my grandfather and even extending to my own brother. I was a child! I couldn't protect myself and this trauma feels like a demon that haunts me constantly.
The nightmares are excruciating
Medication just made it worse :/

If you cant trust family, who can you trust when you feel you have exhausted all other options? I saw a therapist for awhile and that kind of helped but the undeniable need to "numb" the pain will not go away.

I try to to look at the things that are good in my life instead of dwelling on the bad...but I just feel so overwhelmed

You sound as if you were assaulted by the men in your family? If this is so, you really have only one choice; get away, right away, from your family.Your father is no longer there to offer any protection. So leave! Travelling alone, until you meet other people.There are many good men in the world; and many good women living alone.
You say you were once a Christian? Then remember the advice of the Bible:-
"If thy right eye offend thee; pluck it out!".It means much more than just that! It means, get away from that which is hurting.
You could go to the police; but that really would solve nothing!
So be brave! It is your life. So live it, your way!

> Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Post Traumatic Stress, Chronic Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Your first step is to stop seeking attention by lying about having serious mental illnesses on the internet. There is no chance that a psychiatrist would have diagnosed someone under with the above.

Schizophrenia diagnoses are incredibly rare for children. It is also not comorbid with bipolar disorder -- if you had actually been diagnosed with anything, it would have been shizoaffective disorder. And you most certainly would have not been diagnosed with chronic depression AND bipolar disorder.

You sound like you just discovered a wikipedia link on mental illness and decided that it would be cool to pretend to be sick. I can assure you, kiddo, there's nothing hip about being mentally ill.

Consider figuring out what makes you need to lie to strangers for attention. Maybe it's because your dad left, and if that's the case, I'm truly sorry to hear it. Hope you do heal, but in a much different way than you're proposing.

With all due respect, if your grandfather is still alive or anyone else who assaulted you, going to the police may very well stop them from doing it to someone else.

I meant that going to the police would not solve the original post.