Barrier for truth finding

Dear all,
I still have doubts whether I find more "enlightment" on this page than I currently have, but still I would like to confront you with a problem that I have since many a year. I hope I will suceed to describe it well and maybe you have already heard or seen similar.
I have the very strong impression that someone/something is preventing me from finding more truth about the reality and what lies behind. Such whenever I make a new attempt to challenge forces and spirits, to proceed in digging deeper into what you might call understanding and doing magick, I get bad luck and bad things happen to me or my environment, so that I withdraw from what I am doing and decide to stopp meddling into things which are not intended for human beings to understand - let alone already to know about.
Also whenever I do some intensive pondering about the world, thinking intensively, all of a sudden finding new connections, links, eternal rules, etc. I get hardly interrupted by different things that happen and that make me loose my thoughts again.
I feel so often since years that I am hindered to see and know more.
Can this be?

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I suppose it could be a curse, but believing it is hindering you makes it worse. Try your best and stay optimistic; soon you'll be stronger than whatever force wants to keep you from knowledge. :)

I will take this as an advice. Thank you and I will now go forward to the breakthrough and break the curse!

Have you tried scrying or meditating with clear crystals. Or even an Amethyst Crystal. Quartz is wonderfully protective. It helps with meditation. It is also magically transforming and may be used to point a path to what is being sought out. Amethyst in crystal healing and magic is known to have no negative side effects. You may find it helpful in doing magic and carrying it with you may help dissolve negativity and fears.

Dear Lady
Thank you indeed for this concrete advice how to proceed and what to try. I will google into scrying / meditating with crystals, which for the time being is new to me. If in any case you have already some interesting link please don't hesitate to post. Best regards

This is a good scrying link:
http://www.earthwitchery.com/scry.html

Appreciated!