Hi all. I was once a strong practitioner, I feel on to some hard personal matters and into a deep depression. I gave up practicing. Caring.. I laid there just waiting for the days and nights to pass by.
I found a love I thought would last forever but He and I being together wasn't easy a 41 year old man. Who fought for us to work for 2 1/2 years. Suddenly breaks up with me in a text and has a new girlfriend within hours.
His behavior is completely not the man I once knew.
Long story short.
Love brought me back to magick but it's not the only thing I want my magick back for.
Practicing daily was a part of my life. I lost that. And I need to be around like people.
Right now it's hard to feel anything other then terrible but so correct description of heart break. Boy did they name that correct.
I'm 38. And I forgot what it felt like and I never want to feel it again.
But I love this man. So I set him free. Figuring that old saying he'd come back to me.
Instead he's literally forced himself to hate me. Lied about me. I'm so confused and lost.
If people what I have sacrificed to have been with him. To me it wasn't for nothing.
So yes I want sweet revenge as his new girlfriend taunts me. Had to change my number
But I want an apology from him. I want him to want me. To beg. And grovel. But in having my own self love and respect I am so confused. Did he ever love me? Who was the man I was with all this time? And why'd he turn on me and betray me.
Magick will help me with some of the closure. But it will also open new beginnings and love and light I'm not able to see right now thru this darkness.
I feel like newbie. But I'm not.
I'm just in need of some major guidance. Voice of reason. And refreshing.
Oh. And someone who can make a better poppet then me right now and poke the girls eyes out maybe lol! Kidding!!
Blessed be!
Re: Getting my magick back By: Star.Child / Novice
Post # 3 May 29, 2015
Don't let lost love be the existence of your day. Let him go. Seems it was not meant to be. But be happy you are free. Go back and commune with nature. Look at the flower. Appreciate the color and scent that makes you smile. Look up, see the pretty blue of the sky. Feel your feet on Her, and replace the negative energy with positive. She is good at that. Being thankful for even the simplest things welcomes a wonderful positive feeling for us. Let it be for you, too. You are loved..
Re: Getting my magick back By: RhiSabelle / Novice
Post # 4 May 29, 2015
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of different emotions.On one hand, it seems like you want to move on and "open new begininnings" but on the other hand, you want a sort of revenge on the girl.
I think you need to understand what it is you really want and why, and I would suggest meditating on it or simply writing your feelings down in a journal. In that setting, accept the feelings you are having. It is natural to be upset, to want revenge, and to want him back. That does not mean that revenge should happen and that does not mean that he should grovel at your feet.
After you've worked through your emotions, I would suggest a cleansing. This will help get rid of negative energy that could be holding you back or hindering you. It will also help you see some light in this bad situation. If you need some other pick-me-ups, think about the things, people, and privilages you have that you are thankful for. Schedule a time to go hang out with a friend you haven't seen in a while, or call up a family member you miss. Surround yourself with people that care about you. These people will help lift your spirits and will want what is best for you.
There is magic in your every day life; people don't "lose their magic," they simply stop seeing it. Start with baby steps; meditation, awareness, intent. Try to notice the magic in your everyday life.
I hope the best for you, and I hope you find what you are looking for.
That's sad he did that to you. Breakups hurt, especially knowing he has it better than you do. Hopefully he will fail in his next relationship, and some people would do a revenge spell to help it happen. I can't say what he was thinking, but you probably want something to take your mind off him, instead of brood about it. What I would do in that situation is find another hobby, possibly a magical one. Have you tried I Ching or Geomancy divination?
Sorry and not to be rude. Men (and people in general) are selfish and do as they wish if they do not genuinely love you as you did them. I dealt with someone for almost a decade and I had/have the same issues. Honestly I took that lower road of using what I have against them both. My ex begged for me to me, and the other person hated to see me coming. However satisfaction was temporary and not lasting. I found my greatest revenge in not giving an care towards my ex. Cut all ties. If the girlfriend chooses to harass you, get the authorities involved.
I suggest you get control of your emotions before you start practicing as you previously did. Quite frankly, even if he does come back to you, dont allow him to. If he did it once, he will do it again.
Dont allow someone to control who you are and take you out of your character. It weakens you morally and spiritually. They arent worth it.
Practice your Magic skill to improve, or do anything that keeps him out of your mind.
Using magic to get him will be a mistake, you can't force him to love you that is only selfishness instead move on and find someone better :D. There are billion of men out there that are single and would like to have a girlfriend ;).
Dont think you need him to practice magic. You are strong without him, and all you need to do is believe you are. I know it hurts, but the pain won't last forever'.