Ethics of Love Magic

This is an open comment post, where people can share their personal views and ideas regarding Love Magic, I decided to make this because I have recently been hearing from other practitioners about their views on the practice of Love Magic and so I'd like to hear from everyone else in regards to this, I shall share my view on the topic and how that has developed and anyone is welcome to share their own personal view. General rule of thumb, no arguing and no harassing members for theirpersonal view.

Growing up as a Young Witch and the few books, websites and articles I had access to in the early 2000s, Love Magic came up a lot - if you do a general google search for Spells you'll most likely find Love Magic near if not at the top of the lost of most searched Spells, this is completely understandable because as Animals we seek to have love and affection. This has not changed over the Centuries, in the past a lot of Cunning-Folk, Witches, Magicians etc were sought to help bring love into some desperate souls life.

Growing up with this information I found a lot of different comments, as I branched out in my studies and meet other practitioners and of course read more - the first impression I got of Love Magic was it was an on the Fence, a lot of more Neo-'Wiccan'authors said they would openly practice it and had spells to draw in desired mates, a lot of authors also stood vehemently against it - saying it was a affront to free will and choice, that it was never true love. When I joined Spells of Magic I was met with the same view, when I joined Tumblr I was met with a view that was incredibly more negative.

As an example, I had seen posts done by practitioners on Love Magic - but more focused on using it as an attraction sort of thing (Like smelling good, or drawing in love to their life - unspecific and not targeted to anyone but themselves) and quite a few users on Tumblr actually 'verbally' attacked these people calling them nasty, horrible, wicked people that were perpetuating a disgusting culture (Referring to Rape Culture) because a large group of people view Love Magic as being akin to Raping someone, and I can agree with that and see where they'recoming from - magic is not pretty, it's not always nice and there are spells out there literally called 'Love Me or Die'.

But is Love Magic just about forcing love and getting your way? There is more to love Magic than finding a partner, getting married and having a family - Love Magic can also come in different ways, if say your family is one that has a lot of Domestic Disputes, you could use a Love Spell to encourage more Love in the family rather than all this negativity - Love is not just Lust, being amorous is not a sin.

After a while I had begun thinking, well - how do I see it? For a while I was very of the mind to be 'What does anyone else care? My life, My rules' Magic is not just about the self, because it affects the world around the self and that does include people - so any spell you could cast could affect anyone around you. But now a days I am more of the 'Your Magic, your choice - but be aware there are consequences to some actions'

Sarah Anne Lawless describes the view of Love Magic quite well "Love spells are black magic. Love spells to manipulate the body, heart and soul. Love spells to dominate, to bind, to cause destruction and madness and pain - Love spells are not about love, they are about the lustful eye and the selfish heart. Be honest with yourself about it and then move onto the work at hand."

This does sound quite different from what I have been saying, but hear me out on this one, love is dangerous - if you get it right then all the power to you, but love is not always kind (I am not meaning in Abuse/Domestic Problems) I am more meaning in the way of that love will make you do crazy things for someone, it will make you hurt when they hurt, it will cause you to become something else that may be much more frightening than you would admit. When doing the work, or any magic in general - you have to be honest with yourself, you need to be ready for the consequences - and sometimes the consequences can lead to death.

I hold no illusions in my practice, I have spells to take love and I have spells to encourage love - I have no illusions of myself or what my magic can do - but just because one has these spells doesn't mean one will use them - I have a couple of spells I made out of desperation, being a young gay man in a school that didn't accept you for you (Sexuality and Beliefs) so I created ways for me to have what I thought I deserved. That being said, I wish I could slap my past self across the face and burn the Grimoires he possessed.

Over time I now hold the view that all magic is dangerous, it can be wonderful but it can lead you into uncomfortable situations and that I now think before I cast - this goes double for love, I once did a spell to attract a specific guy, he became a stalker and tried to use me, so I pushed him away and cursed him 'to Rot' and he got with a colleague of mine and abused him - I utilized a love spell for myself (It didn't backfire, I just got what I wanted and I didn't realize what I wanted was so intense) and then to stop it I cursed him and he harmed and stalked someone I knew.

When it comes to ethics, its a personal view, some people think they are allowed to take what they so desire, others think that no one is entitled to anything, it all comes to your own personal bias.

So where is this line drawn? Where do we create the line between Ethical Love Magic and Unethical Love Magic? In my head, if the magic is designed to be more open ended - unspecific and designed to better yourself and others (Such as drawing new love into the Home) then it is alright, but when we get into the - Make a Poppet of that guy you like and do these things to do and shove it into your underwear draw - then we have a problem and we would be getting more to the forced view.

So feel free to comment with how you view the use of Love Magic and what you think is the morally/ethically correct way to use this kind of magic - and if you're willing, do you have any horror stories to tell the new kids on the block to help them understand why we must becareful with the gifts we have?

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This is quite the read and I am very surprised no one has commented on it! Do you believe in soulmates or a one true love? What ifsomeone was your true love regardless of casting a love spell on him or her? Would that still be ethical or unethical?So many questions and so much information I would enjoy discussing here.

i remember being a young witch and seeing everyone going 'only positive spells like healing or love magick' and then in the late 2000's into early 2010's it shifted to 'love spells forces your will on people, shame! it's evil! boo!' i think it's because despite all the talk of balance many witches still insist on seeing things as 'black' or 'white' [unless you take the 'magick has no colour, it's more of a grey scale' to the literal 'i'm a grey witch' which always makes me laugh. we're all grey witches since no ones 100% good or evil] in my first year, i was all about the black magick/white magick mindset, and love spells were 100% white magick. so i'll just cast this 'make my crush love me' spell while trying to ignore that nibbling doubt in my mind that whispers 'it's not really love if you're forcing him'.

i never really swung around to the 'love spells are black magick' camp, but i did start preaching you need to be careful about their free will. while i never actually completed a single love spell for myself, i did cast many for friends and family [who hasn't heard 'you're a witch? can you do a love spell for me?!'] and i would always tell them 'be careful what you wish for' because they're all happy with me when a week later they've met someone, but i'm suddenly the bad guy when a month later they're 'too clingie' or 'boring' or 'don't seem as interested in me anymore' and i'm all 'you asked for a boyfriend/girlfriend that finds you irresistible and yet it's my fault when they call you 8 times a day?' love is a strong emotion, too many people get blinded by it and go 'i love that person, it's true love, and i have totally thought it through.'

i don't think love spells are good or bad, like every spell i feel you could argue both sides, but love spells usually have the most emotion behind them which can muddy the water. personally, i cast love spells that are for self love, or love spells where two people cast together. these spells don't force another free will, it's someone willing asking the universe for something. so a simple rule is to ask yourself 'do they know about this spell? are they ok with it?' i recieved a few spells from other pagans in high school that came with a warning that if the person found out they would instantly hate you and it was irreversible. a few years later i don't think that's really possible to hate someone forever because a spell backfired, but if a spell comes with a warning like that, it might not be a spell you would like to use on your 'true love'. just ask them out. worst case, they say no [i've asked many guys out, 90% turned me down, it's not as bad as you think. i never really had very high self esteem, and i was over it by lunch]

i will say, if you want to become a career witch and sell spells, tarot readings, and whatever else for a living, your bread and butter will always be love spells, there will always be a demand for them. especially if it's a love triangle. the number of forum posts i've seen that go 'a witch cast a spell on my bf and he left me, i need a spell to get him back' and i wonder if this isn't the same two woman fighting over a guy who is just not willing to commit. i'm not saying morally you should help them, but if you keep selling each of them a 5$ spell every 2 weeks, think of the steady income you could make? [that's a joke btw, i would like to believe most witches who have some moral compass in place wouldn't do this, but i also know there's plenty of scammers in the spells department]